Want a sooner wedding

AbbeyS2011 · May 2012

OP is 16? Wow. That explains alot.

I think she needs a time out. Then, she can go help out her friend who is KU after she has the baby, live with her for a week, and she will see how fun and glamorous it is being a teen with a newborn baby.

Habs - I LOVE the Sooner pic - TFF!

Lizzieyounce · May 2012

Single parenthood is hard. Very hard. It was hard for me at 35 (divorce), but I was blessed enough to have a good career so that I could provide both monetarily and time wise (I had a flex schedule and awesome bosses).

Like I said, I was blessed. Not everyone is as much.

Especially at 15 or 16.

OP this is too young to be marrying, let alone contemplating starting a family. I've seen too many girls have to put their dreams on hold, I have a classmate who had to do this. Even I had to do this ( I didn't date until my children were older, by choice because they were more important than dating).

Live a little. Have fun, party, get your higher education or find a career that fufills you, that allows you to go and do things that you won't be able to do when you become a parent.

I love my children, but I regret marrying young (23) because my friends were all getting married and I thought that I'd be an old maid. That marriage ended in divorce.

EDIT: clarity

ajmom2two · May 2012

OP is 16...well that explains the ridiculousness of her actions. I was in no way ready to get married at 16, nor did I want to. I also was not even contemplating having a baby at that age. I wasn't even considering it when I did get pregnant when I was 22! Having a baby is a lot more responsibility and hard work than it looks like on 16 & Pregnant (these teen parent shows all need to be cancelled) and so is being married. I work with pregnant women and new moms and I have 2 children of my own. Wait a while and give yourself a chance to grow up (and at least finish high school) before you start adding marriage and babies into the mix.

Meghannsix · May 2012

I love my kids dearly, but I had my first at 21, which I still think was waayyyy too young. OP, do yourself a favor, and take care of you first, before you have to put yourself second. Go to school, better yourself, before you do all this getting married and starting a family nonsense. I know it sounds cliche, but you really are too young to know what you want and need right now. Where are your parents?

ajmom2two · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-a-sooner-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab980abd-a79e-41a4-a22e-8dbe595ab4baPost:efb35922-88f8-4069-b24d-e0618562c41f">Re: Want a sooner wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I love my kids dearly, but I had my first at 21, which I still think was waayyyy too young. OP, do yourself a favor, and take care of you first, before you have to put yourself second. Go to school, better yourself, before you do all this getting married and starting a family nonsense. I know it sounds cliche, but you really are too young to know what you want and need right now. <strong>Where are your parents?</strong>
Posted by Meghannsix[/QUOTE]

<div>I was thinking the same thing. I know there is no way in hell I would consent for either one of my girls to get married at 16. Honestly, if they need parental consent to get married then they are probably too young in my opinion. </div>

jemmini6 · May 2012

OP - I think you need to go back to your sandbox, a wedding board is no place for a 16 year old.

aragx6 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-a-sooner-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab980abd-a79e-41a4-a22e-8dbe595ab4baPost:9cee841b-40f2-42a6-b845-3990804866eb">Re: Want a sooner wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Want a sooner wedding : I was thinking the same thing. I know there is no way in hell I would consent for either one of my girls to get married at 16. Honestly,<strong> if they need parental consent to get married then they are probably too young</strong> in my opinion.
Posted by ajmom2two[/QUOTE]

She'll probably be the age of consent by the time of the wedding.

OP, just because you <em>can</em> though, doesn't mean you should.

ajmom2two · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-a-sooner-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab980abd-a79e-41a4-a22e-8dbe595ab4baPost:ae167157-832a-444e-89c4-3a152f319afa">Re: Want a sooner wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Want a sooner wedding : She'll probably be the age of consent by the time of the wedding. OP, just because you can though, doesn't mean you should.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

<div>I would think that is part of why the original date was in 2014 since you have to be 18 to get married without parental consent in Maryland. (You have to be 19 where I live and you cant get legally married if you are under 17 in Nebraska, even with parental consent.) However, if you are pregnant you can get married at 16 without parental consent in Maryland. I wonder if OP is taking this clause into consideration as reason to get pregnant and get married sooner... </div>

AbbeyS2011 · May 2012

Let's all hope the OP's BF has the good sense to run away, and soon, very soon.

Anysunrise · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-a-sooner-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab980abd-a79e-41a4-a22e-8dbe595ab4baPost:139bef43-3914-4fcc-94ad-d8b362d716d0">Re: Want a sooner wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]when you say you "want a Sooner wedding" it just makes me think of covered wagons and college football. P.S. This might be surprising to some people, but you don't actually have to be married to start a family.
Posted by RupertPenny[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I came in all excited because I thought this was going to be an OU themed wedding.</div>

SugarFoote · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-a-sooner-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab980abd-a79e-41a4-a22e-8dbe595ab4baPost:9f56f602-6877-4e43-bd88-32871446355d">Want a sooner wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, I'm really sick of just being engaged and I have a lot of stuff already done, but now I want my wedding sooner so I can start my family. So far I worked everything out and I changed the date with vendors and then the bridesmaids, but there's one problem now: My bf doesn't think we need to move it up now. I told him its pretty much taken care of and it would be pretty crappy to make me do all that work AGAIN, but he says I should of talked to him first and he still wants to marry me, just on the original date. I told him if he really loves me he'll want to get married whenever but he keeps turning it around. How do I convince him I'm right?
Posted by Soon2bD2014[/QUOTE]

I'm kinda late to this. But wow. That was very irrasponsible of you to change your date without talking to your FI before you changed everything. That was a stupid move. You are "tired of being engaged"? What are you going to do when you get married? Are you going to get tired of being married too?

SugarFoote · May 2012

Two things I want to talk about here...

A: I am 19. Will be 21 when married. Not all of us young brides are like OP (like several PPs have mentioned)

B: I also am having a long engagement. It was June 2013 but because we want to be more fincially stable and wait until I am out of college and save for a house we moved it to June 2014...

Just wanted to make that point.

kimandjosh22 · May 2012

Heck, I got engaged at 23 and will have had a 26 month engagement when I get married this summer because I felt I was too young! Sooooo glad we waited FI(27) and I (25) are so much more ready for marriage now.

If my life had gone the way I thought I wanted it to at 16 I would be so unhappy right now!

JoanE2012 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-a-sooner-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab980abd-a79e-41a4-a22e-8dbe595ab4baPost:139bef43-3914-4fcc-94ad-d8b362d716d0">Re: Want a sooner wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]when you say you "want a Sooner wedding" it just makes me think of covered wagons and college football. P.S. <strong>This might be surprising to some people, but you don't actually have to be married to start a family.</strong>
Posted by RupertPenny[/QUOTE]

Let's not encourage our youth that it is ok to have babies before being married.

Lisa50 · May 2012

You are not right about this at all. This is his wedding too!

How in the world can you rationalize making all of those changes without talking to him about it???

God bless him, though, he still wants to marry you. He's a saint. Be thankful he loves you so much and get to work on changing everything back to they way it was. Toot sweet.

DMoore421 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-a-sooner-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab980abd-a79e-41a4-a22e-8dbe595ab4baPost:9f56f602-6877-4e43-bd88-32871446355d">Want a sooner wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, I'm really sick of just being engaged and I have a lot of stuff already done, but now I want my wedding sooner so I can start my family. So far I worked everything out and I changed the date with vendors and then the bridesmaids, but there's one problem now: My bf doesn't think we need to move it up now. I told him its pretty much taken care of and it would be pretty crappy to make me do all that work AGAIN, but he says I should of talked to him first and he still wants to marry me, just on the original date. I told him if he really loves me he'll want to get married whenever but he keeps turning it around. How do I convince him I'm right?
Posted by Soon2bD2014[/QUOTE]

I really do not understand how you changed everything without talking to him first - it is not just your bridesmaids that have to be okay with it...

babe915 · May 2012

I would say you were definitely wrong to do that to your FI. Also, maybe you shoudn't get married if you're already sick of being engaged. Being engaged is the same as being married except you don't have all the legal aspects. If you are that adamant on starting a family and you aren't getting married until 2014 why don't you start having a family before you are married, that's always an option.

Definitly didn't realize OP is that young! Forget the baby making!

erbear84 · May 2012

This sounds like an episode of 16 & Pregnant in the making.

StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012

Also I just realized in most states minors can't be valid parties to contracts, so I don't even understand how OP has vendors in the first place, let alone how she was able to change them around all by herself.

Soon2bD2014 · May 2012

Oh come on now, really?? I mentioned the new date to him, we talked about it, he said, "that sounds great to me!" which I took to mean that it did, in fact, sound great to him. My freaking bad. I DO feel bad that he felt I didn't fully check with him first and if he wants the old date, I'll call everyone back and fix it. I just thought it was annoying how he made it seem like he didn't agree. And for the record, I would never try to get pregnant without his consent. I can't even get pregnant at all because of a childhood accident (thanks for assuming). We want to adopt which I know takes a long time and you pretty much have to be married to do it I hear.

StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_want-a-sooner-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ab980abd-a79e-41a4-a22e-8dbe595ab4baPost:7eeff09b-44cc-48bd-adf6-be2815778193">Re: Want a sooner wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh come on now, really?? I mentioned the new date to him, we talked about it, he said, "that sounds great to me!" which I took to mean that it did, in fact, sound great to him. My freaking bad. I DO feel bad that he felt I didn't fully check with him first and if he wants the old date, I'll call everyone back and fix it. I just thought it was annoying how he made it seem like he didn't agree. And for the record, I would never try to get pregnant without his consent. I can't even get pregnant at all because of a childhood accident (thanks for assuming). We want to adopt which I know takes a long time and you pretty much have to be married to do it I hear.
Posted by Soon2bD2014[/QUOTE]

You also have to be a legal adult with a reliable income to adopt. You should try focusing on that part a little more and focusing on speeding up your pretty princess day a little less.

JoanE2012 · May 2012

OP - Please focus on finishing school and getting a proper education before wanting "a sooner wedding".

Want a sooner wedding

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