Registering....

shan87 · November 2010

How will/did you go about Registering? I started a while back when my sister was registering for her Baby Shower. But the more I think about it the less I want to have one.

I will be moving right after our Wedding to FI. (We find out his next base Dec. 3rd! Yay!) Anyways I really don't want to have to worry about moving blenders, dishes etc.

Any suggestions?

TIA!

calindi · November 2010

Some people really like having a registry to pick from. Some people are indifferent and would just as rather write a check.

Even though you'll be moving, there are things you'd need in your house. Luckily, the military will pay for the PCS, so you won't have to worry too much about packing it up unless you guys want to save a bunch by moving yourselves.

I'd suggest registering for a few things that you really want and would use - sheets, towels, pillows, silverware, cooking utensils, pots & pans. I personally won't be registering for china as I don't want to move something that delicate multiple times across the country (and world). But if you have a few things, then there's something for people to purchase who are going to buy a physical gift (so at least you end up with something you like and will use).

If you have a small registry, most people will take the hint and write a check. If they ask, you can always say, "You know, we didn't register for a lot as we're going to be moving soon after. What we're really trying to do is save for... (house, honeymoon, car, whatever)." If they want to contribute cash, they'll do that!

Beachy730 · November 2010

Ditto what Calindi said.

We moved about a month cross country about a month after our wedding, so I was thinking the same thing, that I really didn't want to lug a ton of gifts. But since the military is paying for the move, its really just a matter of getting the gifts to your house or your FI's, wherever you would be moving from. We also had a ton of things already, so I didn't think we would have much to register for, but we ended up replacing a lot of older things, and getting some fun new appliances we otherwise would have never bought. Our registry was decent sized, but we still had a lot of cash gifts and Target gift cards given to us as well since people knew we were moving.

shan87 · November 2010

hmm perhaps I am misinformed but I was told by the AF Family and Life office in Oklahoma (FI current base) that the AF would not pay for my initial move to meet FI even if we were married. Since its not because of FI orders, but for personal reasons.
Here is my Current Plan:
My lease in my apt ends a month before the wedding - I was planning on loading up a PODS with my furtinature and Big Items - shipping it to FI and biting the cost. Then after the wedding, pack up my SUV with the rest of stuff from the wedding and stuff I'll need for the month inbetween. With a Dog that leaves little room

You would think with several Uncles as Truckers this would be easier haha

Perhaps I'll leave the smaller stuff on the registry like picture frames and the fewer bigger items I really want (fancy mixer, pots and pans). Everyone knows I'm moving right after the wedding, I'll ask my mom to spread the word about the cash and gift cards.

calindi · November 2010

Oooooh... if you're not moving as part of a PCS, then no, they won't pay for it. Unless he has orders to move, which then will grant him an allowance for that move, they're not going to pay for you. Will he be moving shortly thereafter? You could put stuff in storage until then, if that's the case, and then just move it to the new location when he gets orders.

Could you just have his address for the registry? Many people will ship gifts, at least my friends have told me that happened for them, so it would already be waiting for you.

You could also register at a place like Bed Bath & Beyond, return the gifts for store credit, and buy them again in the new location. Any major national chain that has a "store credit" return policy would work.

shan87 · November 2010

He finds out his next base and when he reports to that base Dec. 3rd . He graduates UPT Dec. 17th. So he may report before or after the holidays. Either way -- 5 months before me.

Which means no go on them paying for my move--- I still don't know how it will all go down because FI will be living on base dorms/housing until closer to the date. I don't know when we'll look for off base housing hoping March or April. Still a lot of ???s either way the housing will not be finalized until close to the wedding and I don't know how to pass that on to guests looking to ship gifts. Perhaps get a PO Box until its all figured out?

this is giving me a nice Monday Headache LoL

shan87 · November 2010

Also- I don't know why its centering all of the sudden I hope this fixes it...

Beachy730 · November 2010

Only you see the centering, we don't. It happens to me too.

I misunderstood your first post and assumed you were moving at the same time.

Do you have a wedding website? You could put the information on there about where to ship the gifts. Word of mouth is the best way to spread any info about wanting cash or gift cards. Putting that on the invites or anywhere else is considered poor etiquette. As calindi said, places like Target and BB&B will let you return the gifts for a gift card if you need to.

I feel your pain in the move. We had to move all the stuff from my place to H's apartment, which was about 2 hours away, and then the movers took all of it for our PCS. We slowly brought stuff back and forth, and then did one big move where my parents borrowed my uncles truck. We opted not to bring any furntiure from my house though, since I lived with my parents still and it was just an old bedroom set. Either way though, its not fun.

calindi · November 2010

If his location isn't finalized, I'd still have it sent to him. He can put it in storage nearby, and when he moves, you can change the address on the registry information and update your website. If he doesn't have space to keep the stuff, you can get a small storage locker until he gets his orders to move.

Another option is just having it shipped to you, register at BB&B or Target, and return everything for gift cards and buy it again later.

Luke&Sam625 · November 2010

Personally, and this is just what works out with my FI and I, because even though our wedding is 26 DAYS AWAYYYY, he'll go back to Japan and I'll come back up to my base for the better part of 2011 at least! Yes, we made a *very* small registry, but asked that the word be spread, that we'd much rather have guests bring small unwrapped toys and FI and I can donate to Toys for Tots the day after the wedding. I know that this doesn't work out for everyone, but to us.. what's the point in registering for 8 place settings and kind size sheets, when we'll both still be in the Barracks, or a small apartment(me). We would much rather have the money our guests would spend on us, spend on a toy for a child in need. Wow, I didn't mean for this to sound so preachy! I was just thinking that maybe another point of view would help you decide what to do. Good Luck!!

mysticl · November 2010

I'd go with the small registry and have your mom spread the word that money and gift cards would be the most helpful with you having to move. In our case the only people who shipped gifts to us were people who didn't attend the wedding. Everyone else brought theirs to the wedding or gave it to us the before or the day after in person.

As for getting a PO Box a lot of places won't ship packages to one, though I think if you get a box at a UPS store you can have packages shipped there.

Please don't register for gifts with the intent of returning them just so you can buy them again later. What are you going to say if someone asks how you liked a gift or if you have used it yet and, or they visit you and wonder why you aren't using that lovely picture frame they bought you and you didn't get around to re-buying the gifts yet or couldn't find them anywhere? There is no polite way to explain that. Especially when it is a gift you specifically asked for with the expectation of receiving it at your wedding.

leannalyn · November 2010

I am kind of in the same boat. The first couple of years we are married I will have orders to different posts nearly every month for my medical school rotations while my fiance will likely stay in the same place. We will probably register for a few things he'd need for an apartment so that people have the option to get us a gift if they want to. We are also registering for some camping/backpacking gear we want from REI for our honeymoon. Other than that, we're going to wait and get the majority of our stuff once I am on active duty and have a permanent station. Our moms are kind of spreading the word, and most people know that we'll be moving around a lot, and that we don't really want a lot of stuff.

Luke&Sam625 congrats on your wedding coming up soon!

Luke&Sam625 · November 2010

Thanks a Bunch!! Getting so excited!!

natalieervin · November 2010

I registered for EVERYTHING! I am still living at home with my parents and FI literally has one bowl, plate, etc. is sleeping on a mattress on the floor, and is living with another couple so he has nothing! So we are literally starting from the very beginning! I know it will be hard to transfer all of our stuff, but I am just going to do it a little at a time. The first two months we will be married we will be living with another couple, so I won't be taking anything but the necessities. Then when he gets restationed in August we will start getting all the other gifts to our new home. My parents have extra rooms so we are just going to leave them at their house until we can get everything. Also, my parents will probably be helping us kind of move in August if they aren't to busy.

jfg4u4 · November 2010

So exciting and i love your dress!
For me and FI, thankfully, He already knows where we will be--still working on housing though. It is about five hours from where I currently live. we are going to move it all ourselves. Maybe try to go down a little before the wedding and drop everything off and just unpack the necessities- as we will be flying right back in there after the honeymoon.

So no help from those Uncles with all this moving? i'd try and pull the quality family time card lol jk... good luck

shan87 · November 2010

@jfg - thanks for the compliment - I told FI I will most likely be living in it after the wedding - for real it feels like I am wrapped in a down comforter!

Thanks for the all the ideas and advice ladies. I'm going to attempt to bring it up to FI again later this week. (I have to plan this big talks very carefully)

I have everything since I have been living on my own for the last 5 years whereas FI has been living either in the USAFA dorms or now on base which supplies everything. He literally has his trunk, a desk, a computer and a couple monitors.
His 1st pick is only 6 hrs away from me now which would be easiER to move however, across country is still on the plate.

2 weeks and he'll know which state he will be in at least. eek I can't wait. I'm a planner by nature which has made this last year and a half hard.

Luke&Sam625 · November 2010

I've been meaning to ask you, What kind of dog is that? It's super cute!!

shan87 · November 2010

Luke&Sam she is a King Charles Cavalier and will be a year old on Thurs.

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