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Thanks, Mom.

ariannewtonariannewton member
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in Just Engaged and Proposals

There have been two couples in my family where the girlfriend has gotten pregnant, and then the couple decides to get married. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it wasn't the case with my fiance and I.

After my now fiance proposed to me, we made calls out to our families informing them of the great news! Fiance's parents were ecstatic, congratulated us, and couldn't wait for the wedding. Now came time to call my mom & dad.

My mom's response: "Why?"

WHY?!?! What do you mean "WHY?" Seriously hurt my feelings so bad. I thought she'd be so happy and stoked to know that her only daughter is getting married. But no, all I got was a "Why?"

I did find out later on that she only said that because she thought I was pregnant, too, like the other young women in a family.

So, I just thought I'd share my then-horrfying, now-hilarious announcement story.

Does anyone else have a story about telling family members or friends about their engagement, and getting an unexpected response? Please tell me I'm not the only one! Laughing

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    ariannewtonariannewton member
    First Comment

    There have been two couples in my family where the girlfriend has gotten pregnant, and then the couple decides to get married. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but it wasn't the case with my fiance and I.

    After my now fiance proposed to me, we made calls out to our families informing them of the great news! Fiance's parents were ecstatic, congratulated us, and couldn't wait for the wedding. Now came time to call my mom & dad.

    My mom's response: "Why?"

    WHY?!?! What do you mean "WHY?" Seriously hurt my feelings so bad. I thought she'd be so happy and stoked to know that her only daughter is getting married. But no, all I got was a "Why?"

    I did find out later on that she only said that because she thought I was pregnant, too, like the other young women in a family.

    So, I just thought I'd share my then-horrfying, now-hilarious announcement story.

    Does anyone else have a story about telling family members or friends about their engagement, and getting an unexpected response? Please tell me I'm not the only one! Laughing

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    samscsisamscsi
    First Comment
    Everyone's been pretty normal with mine, though FI's mom was less enthusiastic than expected, especially considering that she's asked him when he was going to propose every time we've seen her in the last year.  
     
    I did have kind of a weird thing with my sister, though.  She and her boyfriend (of 7 years!) broke up about a week before my FI proposed.   When I called my parents to tell them, my mom told me not to tell my sister yet.  She thought it might upset her.  She said to wait a week or two.  I didn't want to, since I was really looking forward to telling my sister, but I agreed to keep it quiet for a little while.  Then my mom called my sister and told her the next day!  In the end everyone was really happy for us, but it was typical of my mom to tell me not to do something, and then turn around and do it herself.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I called my mom since we were away camping when he did it.  She was really quiet, and we were both on cell's so we kind of crackled out of service at one point, I guess when she said "Why would you tell me over the phone??"  so, I didn't really hear her say that, and then she continued to be really quiet and finally I was like, "are you mad?" and she said "no! I just want to hug you right now and I can't!"
    So ya, kinda the same, I thought she was upset (which blew me away as she's the one who introduced me to FI and she loves him and us together sooooooo much), but turns out she just wanted to be with me so bad at that moment!!
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    kelly105kelly105
    First Comment
    My mom gets weird around the holidays or whenever spending time with family.  She gets really anxious and either blows up at people, spends the holiday locked up in her bedroom, and now she's resorted to not seeing any family members on my dad's side at all. 

    When I called to tell her I got engaged, she didn't really say anything.  No big reaction or anything.  Just, "congratulations."  Then when I asked her to go dress shopping with me, she was like, "eh, maybe if I feel like going that day."

    I knew she was going to react that way... so disappointing.  I want to elope.
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    Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    *Knock on wood*

    My Mom and Stepdad have married off THREE kids in shot gun ceremonies.

    I am the youngest, the last, and I hope to start a new tradition.  It goes "first comes love, second comes marriage, and then come the baby in the baby carriage." (With more that 6 months between each stage.)

    The thought of pregnancy would cross my family's minds.  Hopefully they'll be tactful enough to keep it to themselves, though.

    Just giggle at her, it's a common assumption.
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    abgpal11abgpal11 member
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    My dad's sister - that I've NEVER been close to, and quite honestly don't care much for - got on facebook and posted this on my wall (and yes, it was in all-caps):  "OMG NOOO. WHERE AND WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? WHY??? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FINISH SCHOOL. YOU DON'T NEED TO GET MARRIED NOW.  IF YOU GET MARRIED BEFORE YOU GRADUATE YOU NEVER WILL.  WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? PLEASE DON'T DO IT. YOU'RE TOO YOUNG. PLEASE DON'T DO IT."

    I was like...umm, wow?
    First of all, I will be graduating 6 months before we get married.  She didn't ask anyone before she said that.  Second of all,  II *never* talk to this woman and try to not talk to her when we're in the same room because she's just super weird.  Not to mention she is the last person to be giving marriage advice because she's married some super guys (rolls eyes), and school has never been part of the equations for any of those marriages. 
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    KaylaSue19KaylaSue19
    First Comment
    I don't have an engagement story response but I do have a sort of "thanks, mom" situation during the wedding. My mom and dad are divorced. DH's mom and dad were divorced as well, though DH's dad died like 9 years ago. Anyway, my dad got a boutonniere and we were going to hand out flowers to both our moms during the ceremony because I think hand corsages seem like something teenagers wear for prom. My grandpa comes up to me like 20 min before the wedding saying that my mom is all upset that she didn't get a flower but my dad did. I was so stressed out already that put me over, I am having like a freak out moment right before I have to walk down the aisle. My mom comes up and asked me what was wrong so I told her what my granpda said, turned out to be a big misunderstanding. She apparently made a comment jokingly that gpa didn't realize was a joke..thanks, mom.
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    Dferrari17Dferrari17
    First Comment
    My mom was actually there for my proposal. She helped plan it. lol  Then she told most people before I got to so when I made my calls everyone responded with "I know." It was kind of lame.

    It was kind of fun, however, to tell him ex. Long story short: I was engaged to this guy prior to current FI. He cheated on me, we broke up, he's regreted it ever since. We've remained somewhat friend (chat on the phone once in a while) and he flipped when I told him I was engaged. It was quite hilarious because he tries to find bad things about current FI and has nothing!
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    diamondx423diamondx423
    First Comment
    My parents were happy, FI's not so much... When we called to tell her, she demanded FI put me on the phone and said "DO NOT GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU BOTH FINISH SCHOOL!" This wouldn't bother me if we both didn't have a bachelors already and are going for advanced degrees, mine taking roughly 7 years. I'm not waiting 7 years, lady!  Also, FIs teenage sister had a shotgun wedding shortly after I became engaged that they were totally cool with...
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    sspringstennsspringstenn member
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    My mom was all for it! But my FI's mom freaked out.  We're only seventeen and she said she 'wanted him to live his life first.' She yelled at him for about a month, and had a talk with me about it.  she was really bitter and said she was never going to help us out or anything.
    And i was absolutely TERRIFIED to tell my sister, she's 32 and I look up to her so much, but she ended up being really excited and even shed a tear for us! And she's already thinking of cool and inexpensive things to do for the wedding.
    My FI's mom has come around now though, so everything worked out well.
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    megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    I called up my bio-dad a few days after the fact told him "I'm engaged" ... I swear to God his exact response: "Oh, Megan, I thought you were smart. Why the hell would you do this?!?!?!". So I kind of got sarcastic, and said "I don't know, maybe because DH and I are actually in love?". He then sighed and said "Well, it's your life, so whatever. But I'm not giving you money just so your mother and grandmother can throw a party, so you better not be expecting a dime from me". Thanks, dad, way to remind me why we only talk at Christmas.

    My mom and step-dad (Who has pretty much been my "real dad" for most of my life) were super excited though, and bio-dad is notorious for being an ass, so it was pretty easy to brush it off.



    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    janedoe1113ajanedoe1113a member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    That stinks that your mom didn't react the way you wanted.  My mom did it too.  I called her the next morning and she was actually pissed me got engaged and refused to acknowledge it for the next month.  Definitely put a damper on the engagement.
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    loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I had a lovely moment when making the announcements.  I called my mom first to let her know that FI proposed.  (She already knew he was going to because he called her the day before to get her blessing.)  Well, when she answered the phone, she was over my Aunt Rose's house.  She put me on speaker phone so I told her and Aunt Rose at the same time.  My Aunt Rose's response to "FI PROPOSED!" was "And what did you say?"  I said "I said yes, of course".  She responded, "Oh...because you could think about it, you know....you sure you don't want to think about it?"

    She then proceeded to spend the next few minutes repeating "You sure you don't wanna think about it?"

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    jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    My mom has had my last name changed on her FB where you list your children for months now, so obviously she was extatic when it finally became official that we were engaged.  The only "thanks mom" moment I had was when I called to tell her, she said "I just don't know how you managed to find someone as perfect as FI".  I know she was just excited, but I lauged at how that sounded. (she didn't really emphasize the 'you' part, but it's just funny that it could've been interpreted that way).

    She didn't even give me an opportunity to tell anyone else before she posted it on her FB (she's unemployed right now, so she spends a lot of time on FB obviously)  This was her actual FB status just after I called her:
    "Well, my day was great, fantastic, wonderful..... My youngest daughter, my baby girl went to Hawaii and got engaged. Future SIL is so sweet and romantic that he proposed to her on the beach at sunset in Hawaii..... OMG!"
    Anniversary
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    chelsalichelsali
    First Comment
    My grandma assumed I was pregnant.  I wanted to wait to tell her untill I saw her, and it was the next day.  I went up to her, held out my hand and said, "Guess what, Grandma? You're getting a new grandson!" (She absolutely LOVES him by the way and had been asking when she was going to get a new grandson). Her response, "YOU'RE PREGNANT!".  I said grandson, not great-grandson! haha
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    ichellemay1ichellemay1
    First Comment

    My "Thanks Mom" wasn't my own family, but my XH.  When we told his g-parents that he'd proposed and we're both standing there grinning - his g-ma says "What did she say?"  Would I be there if I'd said no?  After that the REAL fun started - his mother and g-ma both threatened to stop eating if he went through with it. 

    Anniversary
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    SinginStefSinginStef
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_thanks-mom?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:2288fd74-21d8-4ae1-bdc8-c8a31b870c71Post:8247e68c-bd10-4b55-b550-101edc49f3eb">Re: Thanks, Mom.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Everyone's been pretty normal with mine, though FI's mom was less enthusiastic than expected, especially considering that she's asked him when he was going to propose every time we've seen her in the last year.     I did have kind of a weird thing with my sister, though.  She and her boyfriend (of 7 years!) broke up about a week before my FI proposed.   When I called my parents to tell them, my mom told me not to tell my sister yet.  She thought it might upset her.  She said to wait a week or two.  I didn't want to, since I was really looking forward to telling my sister, but I agreed to keep it quiet for a little while.  Then my mom called my sister and told her the next day!  In the end everyone was really happy for us, but it was typical of my mom to tell me not to do something, and then turn around and do it herself.
    Posted by samscsi@gmail.com[/QUOTE]

    THIS TOTALLY SOUNDS LIKE MY MOM!!! I think we may be sisters. My mom wouldn't let me talk about my proposal around my brothers girlfriend because she didn't want me to hurt her feelings. Then when my brother and her got engaged (2 weeks later) my mom started telling EVERYONE about my proposal. If I'm telling the story she would literally cut me off to start telling it instead of me! GRRR! I asked her if I could ever be happy because at first I couldn't tell anyone about it for one reason and now I can't for another!
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