How do I say cash please and not be tacky?

ahssabino · December 2012

My fiancé and have all we need in regards to the house being set up and his mother is giving us our hunnymoon as her gift. What we would really like to do is set up a fund to build on to the house for a baby. How do we do that and not be tacky?

ohwhynot85 · December 2012

How nice of your mother-in-law to give you your HONEYMOON. However, it's NOT NICE to request cash as a gift. Your guests are going to do what they want with their money in regards to a gift. Do not do this. It won't go over well. Lots of people will side eye you....

artbyallie · December 2012

Look, just don't have any kind of registry or do a very small one. People will give cash without further prompting, seriously.

Avion22 · December 2012

There have been multiple posts with the exact same question over the last few days. Please be kind enough to read the boards before jumping in with a question.

Darbie914 · December 2012

You don't. Simple as that. You just don't.

mlg78 · December 2012

Don't a couple of home improvement stores have gift registries? This could possibly be a way to get things for your future home needs, in a way... But as others have said, this is a no-no. The majority of people seem to give a gift of cash anyway. Asking for cash just makes you appear money-hungry.

Gohorsiego · December 2012

Register at HoneyFund.com. Then you get the money you want but people feel like they are putting it towards something. So for example, I am going to Hawaii so I put Scuba lessons on there and I think I did 10 increments of 25.00 each. For my engagement party someone gave me 50.00 towards scuba and it counts them down as you get them. It's a free service, honeyfund is just the way to create a list. It's awesome. We did a small registry as well for the traditional people we are inviting as well.

ps. the responsible party just sends you a check for an amount. You don't actually have to use it for scuba if they designate it for that.

MyNameIsNot · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_how-do-i-say-cash-please-and-not-be-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5939141b-68da-43b3-b944-5ebb38428642Post:0b8f3d42-1218-45f2-bac5-a2feac5fdd83">Re: How do I say cash please and not be tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]Register at HoneyFund.com. Then you get the money you want but people feel like they are putting it towards something. So for example, I am going to Hawaii so I put Scuba lessons on there and I think I did 10 increments of 25.00 each. For my engagement party someone gave me 50.00 towards scuba and it counts them down as you get them. It's a free service, honeyfund is just the way to create a list. It's awesome. We did a small registry as well for the traditional people we are inviting as well. ps. the responsible party just sends you a check for an amount. You don't actually have to use it for scuba if they designate it for that.
Posted by Gohorsiego[/QUOTE]

<div>This is both rude and tacky. It's also stupid, because the company takes a portion of your gifts. </div><div>
</div><div>Registering for cash is no less appropriate than asking for it. If you don't want/need any physical gifts, don't register. People who are comfortable giving a cash gift will write a check. Those who are not will either select something on their own or forgo the gift. </div>

[Deleted User] · January 2013

Quite simply, there is no way to do this withoutl looking greedy and tacky. Have a small registry of items (some will prefer a physical gift) and leave it at that as many guests will still give you a monetary gift without having to appear presumptious and asking for a gift.

SCogs18 · January 2013

The only way to TRY and ask for money is to not register at all or to have a very small registery and people will get the hint. However, I will tell you that as a bride and a wedding guest, I refuse to give cash. If I can't afford your registery or you don't have one, I will come up with something on my own. Be prepaired for some rando gifts.

I never give picture frames that aren't on a registery though, we got a zillion of those and I have no where to put them!!

jacnbox86 · January 2013

I think there is a VERY tactful way to do this. We are not having a shower as we've lived together for quite sometime and have everything we need. I'd rather not repurchase brand new stuff just for the sake of doing so. We've basically relayed "no shower" by word of mouth but on our wedding web site wrote the following:

As we start the next part of our journey together, we are thankful for all of you who have inspired us and supported our commitment. It is hard to believe that we've already been together for 6 years!

Because we've lived together for 3 of those 6 years, we have most everything we need and therefore will not be throwing a shower. Many of you have generously asked if there is anything we need for our wedding. Though your presence is what would most make us smile, if you are so inclined, in lieu of physical gifts we would welcome any contribution towards our honeymoon or new home.

To celebrate our marriage, we’re planning an amazing honeymoon cruise in the Mediterranean. We are also thrilled at the prospect of owning a home together! We are currently saving for our down payment and once we get settled, we'll use the gift money to bring it all together.

On our travels and each day that we have the privilege of coming home to our new home, we’ll think of you and how you’ve helped us reach those dreams!

Love,

We've gotten amazing feedback from this and have even been thanked by a number of people for doing this! In the end, just remember you can't please everyone so you may as well please yourself. Good luck!

ceceibson · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_how-do-i-say-cash-please-and-not-be-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:5939141b-68da-43b3-b944-5ebb38428642Post:12b8c623-470c-48ac-9b6c-5400075775de">Re: How do I say cash please and not be tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think there is a VERY tactful way to do this. We are not having a shower as we've lived together for quite sometime and have everything we need. I'd rather not repurchase brand new stuff just for the sake of doing so. We've basically relayed "no shower" by word of mouth but on our wedding web site wrote the following: As we start the next part of our journey together, we are thankful for all of you who have inspired us and supported our commitment. It is hard to believe that we've already been together for 6 years! Because we've lived together for 3 of those 6 years, we have most everything we need and therefore will not be throwing a shower. Many of you have generously asked if there is anything we need for our wedding. Though your presence is what would most make us smile, if you are so inclined, in lieu of physical gifts we would welcome any contribution towards our honeymoon or new home. To celebrate our marriage, we’re planning an amazing honeymoon cruise in the Mediterranean. We are also thrilled at the prospect of owning a home together! We are currently saving for our down payment and once we get settled, we'll use the gift money to bring it all together. On our travels and each day that we have the privilege of coming home to our new home, we’ll think of you and how you’ve helped us reach those dreams! Love, We've gotten amazing feedback from this and have even been thanked by a number of people for doing this! In the end, just remember you can't please everyone so you may as well please yourself. Good luck!
Posted by jacnbox86[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is just awful.</div><div>
</div><div>Virtually every couple wants to take a trip and buy a home. You aren't telling people anything they don't know. What you are doing is telling them they have some obligation to help you fulfill your dreams. Which they don't.

</div>

KellyAnnMC87 · March 2013

I did not read everyones responses.
But I thought Id add, Im portuguese and being from european decent.
Our showers, and the wedding, cash is expected.
You just dont write it on any invite, shower or wedding, with that you do not expect insane large amounts, people give what they can and that is just known, usually rule of thumb is enough to cover your plate.
So I dont feel its tacky to ask for money, for what ever you plan on using it for, house, honeymoon.. You just dont come right out on your invites saying money preferred.

We do always have a registry as well though, for people that either want to get something physical to give, or maybe that arent a custom to our culture. But you usually end up with more money then gifts from your registry.

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Knottie_22382102 · March 2013

Money is really the only gift that's useful to us right now.

We have all the house stuff we need, truly. This is my second wedding and I felt uncomfortable having a shower and registering for gifts "just because".

We were going to do a hunnyfund, and after reading responses from people on these boards, I see how those are tacky now.

So we are just not registering anywhere and people who want to ask about a gift will probably talk to our mothers who will spread that we're saving for our honeymoon or for additions to our house.

For your case, having a home depot registry might be cool if you're having a shower. People dont like to give a ton of gift cards at showers, they like to bring presents.

How do I say cash please and not be tacky?

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