Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Snarky Brides
Snarky Brides
New Discussion

Inviting someone you dislike

misslizzmisslizz member
First Comment
in Snarky Brides
My fiances brother has two children with a girl we'll call CiCi.

She did some horrible things to my (future) B.I.L., making me detest the very sight of her. They split up over 2 years ago and BIL is with a great woman "D" who will be my Maid of Honor.

I have met CiCi once, so we're not friends or aquaintances in any way.

Here's my issue. BIL's two children will be IN the wedding party. His daughter will be my flower girl, and his son will be one of two ring bearers.

When running down my list of invitees to my MIL, she added CiCi to the verbal list of guests. I said I really didn't want her there, but MIL said nothing and it went undiscussed.

MIL is not paying for anything, but obviously she thinks CiCi should be invited.
(P.S. family is only polite by policy because she's never taken BIL to court for support. NO ONE in the family can stand her.)

Not only do I not want her there, but I'm worried it might be awkward for D.

My question is: wtf do I do?

Not invite her? Invite her and pay my photographers more $$ to make sure she's in as few photos as possible?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Inviting someone you dislike

  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Ditto PPs, but I also think a lot can happen over the next 13 months and maybe you don't need to be worrying about this quite yet.
    Report Reply
  • misslizzmisslizz member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:8c118e51-6404-4351-8e87-bc257b8ddcd5">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]Please tell me that your FBIL is paying child support.  If not I wouldn't invite him either.  That having been said, unless your FI is adamant about her being there I don't see any reason to invite her.
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    Oh yeah, FBIL pays her money, <em>and has the kids 95% of the time</em>. There is no court arrangement, basically because she's a moron and thinks she'll lose custody of the kids.

    And that's the ENTIRE reason why the family is nice to her.

    My FI could care less either way. I asked him "off the top of your head, do you care if CiCi is at the wedding?" and his answer was "I could not possibly care less about her in any way, but if you want to invite her go ahead."

    So far it seems (and I've only talked to FI and FMIL about it) I'm the only one who cares.
    Report Reply
  • 526SadieSadie526SadieSadie
    First Comment
    If they got back together you'd have to invite her, but otherwise there's no reason for her to be there at all. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • misslizzmisslizz member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:fe23be8c-d84b-4c6a-b51e-15b5ebdb4fd0">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto PPs, but I also think a lot can happen over the next 13 months and maybe you don't need to be worrying about this quite yet.
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]


    I'm only thinking about it now because the venues I've contacted told me I have to have my final guest count when I pay my deposit. Which we're doing next month since June is such a busy wedding month.
    Report Reply
  • betrothed123betrothed123
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:1323b08e-4c9b-4399-9e31-50f4a1072617">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inviting someone you dislike : I'm only thinking about it now because the venues I've contacted told me I have to have my final guest count when I pay my deposit. Which we're doing next month since June is such a busy wedding month.
    Posted by misslizz[/QUOTE]

    A tentative count would make sense.  If you need final numbers when you first book your venue you need to find another venue.  They're trying to do you up the butt with no lube.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • JennaV26JennaV26
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:1323b08e-4c9b-4399-9e31-50f4a1072617">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inviting someone you dislike : I'm only thinking about it now because the venues I've contacted told me I have to have my final guest count when I pay my deposit. Which we're doing next month since June is such a busy wedding month.
    Posted by misslizz[/QUOTE]

    Ooooh.. how is it even possible to have a final guest count a year out?? A lot could change between now and then! GL with that!

    But no, you don't have to invite her so I wouldn't worry about it.
    There Are 2 in My Wolf Pack : : : : :Look! A Blog! image
    Report Reply
  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:3e8f7963-199e-4e1c-b674-00a95e8ceeca">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inviting someone you dislike : Ooooh.. how is it even possible to have a final guest count a year out?? A lot could change between now and then! GL with that! But no, you don't have to invite her so I wouldn't worry about it.
    Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

    Right!  Heck i don't have my guest count finalized yet... *looks at ticker* Ackkk...
    Report Reply
  • 526SadieSadie526SadieSadie
    First Comment
    Yeah, that seems a little shady to me too!  If your wedding was THIS june then yeah, they'd need a final count by now but NEXT june?  You might want to rethink that venue....
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • JennaV26JennaV26
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:2b97f985-76fa-4a5e-b684-3152f6c17cdc">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inviting someone you dislike : Right!  Heck i don't have my guest count finalized yet... *looks at ticker* Ackkk...
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

    Shoot girl I don't even have my invitations out yet! Gahhh I don't even know if I want to invite a couple of people and I've avoided thinking about it haha

    But I promise I'm not the worst bride-to-be in the world, I'm going to try my hardest to get them out this week!!! I've been too busy registry-stalking myself to work on it. Maybe I am the worst engaged person in the world! Oh well!
    There Are 2 in My Wolf Pack : : : : :Look! A Blog! image
    Report Reply
  • betrothed123betrothed123
    Combo Breaker First Comment

    Invites aren't even supposed to be sent until 6-8 weeks before the wedding.  Are people supposed to miraculously know they were invited and whether or not they can make it?  That doesn't make much sense.

    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • misslizzmisslizz member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:3e8f7963-199e-4e1c-b674-00a95e8ceeca">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inviting someone you dislike : Ooooh.. how is it even possible to have a final guest count a year out?? A lot could change between now and then! GL with that! But no, you don't have to invite her so I wouldn't worry about it.
    Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

    We're having a small wedding so our count if finalized, with the exception of whether to invite her or not.
    Report Reply
  • misslizzmisslizz member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:de00ef2b-4ac9-4b89-9eb0-00d2db6145a5">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Inviting someone you dislike : A tentative count would make sense.  If you need final numbers when you first book your venue you need to find another venue.  They're trying to do you up the butt with no lube.
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    So that's not normal?

    Good thing I posted here.
    Report Reply
  • betrothed123betrothed123
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    That's definitely not normal... not in any way. I'd double check with your venue that they didn't mean a tentative count now and a final count a few weeks before the wedding.

    And even if you do know now who can make it, that's not normal for weddings so it's strange for them to expect it.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • misslizzmisslizz member
    First Comment
    edited May 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_inviting-someone-dislike?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:fb472b22-2817-4c61-a12d-73add5fb3853Post:f16ab632-8db7-4469-a3a5-c64c417440ae">Re: Inviting someone you dislike</a>:
    [QUOTE]Invites aren't even supposed to be sent until 6-8 weeks before the wedding.  Are people supposed to miraculously know they were invited and whether or not they can make it?  That doesn't make much sense.
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]


    Nevermind, got it!
    Report Reply
  • nyreknyrek member
    First Comment
    WTF would you even think you needed to invite her.  If you don't want her there...don't invite her.

    Let FI deal with it...it's his family.

    Find different venues...no lube can really hurt in the long run.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Daisypath Vacation tickers
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    My dad had a kid with this gold digging whore of a woman about 5 years ago. She was definitely not invited to my wedding.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards