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How to involve mother in law

kelseymbaconkelseymbacon member
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in Moms and Maids
Anyone have some tips as to how to involve my future mother in law in our wedding so that she feels she had some input on it? We're having it in another state and she's currently disapointed that she wont' be able to invite her friends. I know she's sad that her only son is getting married and probably feels like he's been paying more attention to me than to her. She and I are still getting to know eachother and I want to do something nice. Any ideas?
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Re: How to involve mother in law

  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    If you're doing all you can then it's really up to her to accept you into the family.  As for your wedding day, talk to your FI and tell him that while you want to make sure his mother feels special and included, he needs to be the one that's the main contact with her.  Your wedding day is not the time when you should feel the cold shoulder from your MIL.  You can only do what you can, after that it's all up to her. 

    How's your relationship with the rest of his family?  If they're receptive of you then maybe she'll come around.
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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Is she interested in being involved?  If so, is there something specific that she may have expressed interest in doing?  I think it's easy for MIL's to feel left out, particularly since many men don't talk to their moms much about wedding planning (or about wedding planning at all really).  

    Getting her a corsage for the wedding day will make her feel special and included.  Ask for her opinion on things that you don't mind having an additional opinion on (colors, cake, whatever you're comfortable with).  And, talk to your fiance--ultimately, it's his mother and he can help make her feel involved.
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  • firechick83firechick83 member
    First Comment
    My FI is terrible at including his family simply b/c he's a "typical" guy & isn't super involved in the wedding planning. You could ask your FMIL to plan the rehersal dinner.  My FMIL loves to shop so I asked her to keep an eye out after Christmas for clear Christmas lights on clearance.  I guess what I'm saying is that if you know what your FMIL likes to do, try to find a project to offer her.  If she doesn't want to do it, that's fine but at least you've tried.
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  • asiriusoneasiriusone
    First Comment
    As a FMIL, I am pleased to help my son and my FDIL in any way I can.  I do not consider keeping an eye out for anything that they need a "chore."  I consider a wedding a family event and appreciate being involved in any way my children see fit.  I don't have girls, won't have that special mother-daughter opportunity, but I'll do what I can to support my family and not be a pain.  I appreciate your willingness to include your FMIL and wish you all the best in your wedding planning, your wedding day and life together.
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