It's OK to register items for the party?

De Velasquez · March 2012

Hello.

We are in a budget and we are planning to just have the civil and religious ceremony without a reception or party, although we want to buy our house items by ourselves.

BUT there are so many close friends and people that have supported us in our relationship that encourage us to throw a party, and now we are considering to have an intimate party after the ceremony, not only to please our friends, but because we are thankful for their support, however, the amount of guests would exceed our possibilities.

We certainly know that our guests would be pleased to contribute for the party, but I think is kind of rude to ask them to throw us the party, so my idea is to create a registry with party items, like snacks, cake, etc, which is very affordable for the guests and will make the party possible.

Is that possible to do? Is it right to do it?

Thanks for your help

ceh789 · March 2012

Oh good lord no.

Maddie1225 · March 2012

This is not a good idea. Creating a 'party registry' as you describe is basically asking them to throw you a party - not very polite. You should either find a way to host something within your budget or skip the reception. You could even do something as simple as just cake and drinks if that would make it affordable for you. Maybe you could wait a bit after your wedding and throw a casual potluck style party. If you do this though, I would not call it a reception or relate it in any way to your wedding. But, it would still be a nice way to get together with your close friends.

jagore08 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_its-ok-to-register-items-for-the-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:fcadfa27-c3d5-41d3-a379-be135d23e211Post:a4010fc5-88f6-4324-a56b-4ce17e7b0f4e">It's OK to register items for the party?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello. We are in a budget and we are planning to just have the civil and religious ceremony without a reception or party, although we want to buy our house items by ourselves. BUT there are so many close friends and people that have supported us in our relationship that encourage us to throw a party, and now we are considering to have an intimate party after the ceremony, not only to please our friends, but because we are thankful for their support, however, the amount of guests would exceed our possibilities. We certainly know that our guests would be pleased to contribute for the party, but I think is kind of rude to ask them to throw us the party, so my idea is to create a registry with party items, like snacks, cake, etc, which is very affordable for the guests and will make the party possible. Is that possible to do? Is it right to do it? Thanks for your help
Posted by De Velasquez[/QUOTE]
No, it's not ok to register for random food and party items to thank your guests for their support.<div>
</div><div>If you invite guests to your ceremony then you need to have a reception. It doesn't need to be big but you need to host it. You can do a BBQ or pastas and a grocery store sheet cake. The main point is that your guests should not have to give you anything to host the party. <strong>Plan what you can afford.</strong></div>

jessicabessica · March 2012

Echoing PPs, no, don't ask your guests to pay for the party. If a group of friends want to throw you a party, they can offer to do that themselves--you should never ask someone to pay for all or part of your party.

Host what you can afford--desserts and drinks one evening at your home, a BBQ in the park, etc. As jagore said, if you invite people to the ceremony, you do need to host something for them to thank them for attending.

De Velasquez · March 2012

Thank you. In our culture is very common to throw parties assigning items to the guests, but I haven't seen that for weddings, so I had a feeling that this could not be very polite, that's why I asked here.

I like the idea of just having a cake and drinks.

De Velasquez · March 2012

Actually, at first we didn't want a wedding, we were just inviting parents, siblings and witnesses, so we haven't invite anyone else yet or announced anything, but people keeps asking for the wedding, so it is probable that when we announce the date of our ceremony, some people will want to throw us a party.

Also we want to prepare a video about our relationship and our friends, but wondering when are we going to show it, so everyday having a post-ceremony activity is becoming a need and we have to do something about it. I thought in having a wedding and registry instead of buying house items, but I think it would be like having a wedding to get gifts.

jessicabessica · March 2012

Having a registry for money or aspects of a party is not the same as registering for household items. That's another problem with this plan.

Also, you should tread lightly if you don't invite people to the ceremony--the gifts really go with the ceremony, not the reception. Many people will want to get you something regardless of whether you invite them to the ceremony or not--in which case it's fine to say if you made a registry at a store--but I wouldn't put it on a wedding website or anything like that, and no mention of gifts on the invitations, ever.

HobokensFury · March 2012

Please don't so this. It's rude and tacky.

It's OK to register items for the party?

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