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Wedding "Freebies"

montanaboundingmontanabounding
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Quick question -

How do you handle a free offer made, but without a follow-up?

A friend (not a fan of TK, and posed the dilemma to me) had a tasting and was offered a free meal post-tasting. They were supposed to make contact to arrange, but they haven't yet, and it's been about a month since the original offer was made.

It's a bit of a tricky situation, as one would have no qualms about being politely pushy if s/he was paying for the meal, but if it's a gift/free offer - I wasn't certain about the etiquette in this situation, so I figured that you would have better ideas or experience to share.

Thank you!
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Re: Wedding "Freebies"

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    SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    Well, if your friend was supposed to make contact to get the meal, and didn't, then the onus is still on her to do it. I'm sure calling up the restaurant/venue/whatever and asking about it is the best way to find out if they can still have it.
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    AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
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    This is for a wedding venue, right? If they selected a different venue I'd just forget the free meal. If they selected this venue or haven't decided, they should jus call the person who made the offer and say we were thinking of coming in this weekend. How do we redeem your kind offer of a free meal?
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    montanaboundingmontanabounding
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-freebies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:495a0d96-5595-4f7e-902c-2607bc4817f2Post:de9726a9-3141-4ae3-8a1a-28bbc92ad120">Re: Wedding "Freebies"</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, if your friend was supposed to make contact to get the meal, and didn't, then the onus is still on her to do it. I'm sure calling up the restaurant/venue/whatever and asking about it is the best way to find out if they can still have it.
    Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

    I believe that the venue/her contact for the tasting was supposed to get back to her to schedule.

    Even if she was supposed to get in touch, I don't know if "Hi, could I please have the free thing that you said I could have?" (phrased better, of course) would be polite - I know that I'd feel uncomfortable doing it, but maybe that's just me.
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    SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-freebies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:495a0d96-5595-4f7e-902c-2607bc4817f2Post:3614969a-65ff-42f1-95dd-59f49c46c1f0">Re: Wedding "Freebies"</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding "Freebies" : I believe that the venue/her contact for the tasting was supposed to get back to her to schedule. Even if she was supposed to get in touch, I don't know if "Hi, could I please have the free thing that you said I could have?" (phrased better, of course) would be polite - I know that I'd feel uncomfortable doing it, but maybe that's just me.
    Posted by montanabounding[/QUOTE]

    <div>Oh, ok. If the venue was supposed to contact them and hasn't then I think it would be fine for her to call them up and say, "During our tasting we were offered a complimentary meal to be scheduled at a later date. We haven't heard from any one yet and thought we'd follow up."</div>
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    AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
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    In Response to Re:Wedding :[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wedding "Freebies":Well, if your friend was supposed to make contact to get the meal, and didn't, then the onus is still on her to do it. I'm sure calling up the restaurant/venue/whatever and asking about it is the best way to find out if they can still have it.Posted by kristbotI believe that the venue/her contact for the tasting was supposed to get back to her to schedule.Even if she was supposed to get in touch, I don't know if "Hi, could I please have the free thing that you said I could have?" phrased better, of course would be polite I know that I'd feel uncomfortable doing it, but maybe that's just me. Posted by montanabounding[/QUOTE]

    Why? It's a business, not a personal contact.

    How about, "thank you for the offer of a complimentary meal at your fine establishment. FI and I are really looking forward to it." Then see if they send the details.
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    SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-freebies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:495a0d96-5595-4f7e-902c-2607bc4817f2Post:5f248202-bb3e-45c3-804e-55d814fcdf02">Re:Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Wedding : Why? It's a business, not a personal contact. How about, "thank you for the offer of a complimentary meal at your fine establishment. FI and I are really looking forward to it." Then see if they send the details.
    Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It was verbally offered a month ago. It's entirely possible that the venue/whoever offered it has forgotten. Some people just aren't comfortable asking for free things, even when it's from a business. I don't think there's anything wrong with OP being uncomfortable doing something like that. It's not even OP who was offered the meal so it's a moot point.</div><div>
    </div>
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    AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
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    In Response to Re:Wedding :[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Wedding:In Response to Re:Wedding : Why? It's a business, not a personal contact. How about, "thank you for the offer of a complimentary meal at your fine establishment. FI and I are really looking forward to it." Then see if they send the details.Posted by AndreaJuliaIt was verbally offered a month ago. It's entirely possible that the venue/whoever offered it has forgotten. Some people just aren't comfortable asking for free things, even when it's from a business. I don't think there's anything wrong with OP being uncomfortable doing something like that. It's not even OP who was offered the meal so it's a moot point. Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

    Yes I agree. That is why I recommend she call and politely bring it up. I'm sure the establishment has every intention of making good on the offer. I don't think there's anything wrong with calling them. If OP's friend feels too uncomfortable she should just let it go. I wouldn't want to do something I don't feel right about just for one free meal.
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    montanaboundingmontanabounding
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    Thanks! I'll pass this along.

    It definitely made me wonder as I've experienced this situation before, and I really don't know how to respond when it's something that you'd like but don't want to ask to have. I had a bad experience at a coffee shop over the holidays, and ended up calling corporate (I know, I know, teach me to go that THAT place). The manager of the shop called the next day and said, "Hi, I'm sorry for the bad experience, I was the one on duty and I could have handled that better... what's your favorite drink? Just come in sometime and talk to whoever's there, and your next drink's on us." I don't know - it's not like I was still there and I said, "Excuse me, you did x and y and z, could you please remake this for me?" I'd feel weird stopping by and ordering something and saying, "Oh, yeah, and the guy on the phone said it was on the house," when that isn't something that they were obligated to do.

    Hope that everyone is having a good Friday - it's SUPER cold up here but I suppose that I should be content because it isn't snowing. (Summer, y u no here?)
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    Ella and PedroElla and Pedro member
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    Bartender said what I was going to say...sort of.  My response (in my head, not out loud) would be "hell no am I consuming anything made for me at your shop after I got you guys in trouble."  Because, yes, we know what you mean, Bartender.
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