Etiquette

Are local boards all just havens for poor etiquette?

Mine is.

I don't know if my city just happens to have a lot of clueless brides or if the brides on local boards just usually never wander over to the E board or any others?

I mean, we get a lot of the same kinds of questions you find over here (can I replace my MOH? Can I tell my guests what to wear?) but no one ever gives them a correct answer.  A couple times when I've tried to, I look like the big bully and am outnumbered.

Oh well.

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Re: Are local boards all just havens for poor etiquette?

  • Mine didn't have enough traffic to be much of a haven of anything.

    But my month board was a disaster zone.
  • Well, I hate to brand them as havens for the uneducated in etiquette but you find them far less upholding the usual etiquette rule.

    I guess sometimes this is okay if they're asking about something regarding local customs but some of them are really pushing it
  • I don't think that a lot of people that hang out on local boards venture over to the international boards because eveyone outside the local board is "a big bad bully".
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  • my local board isn't too active.  When folks post, it's mostly about Olga the seamstress.  My month just seems to be a series of checks.

    But it does seem that local boards are a bit more wedding-bee-ish in general.

  • edited February 2012
    My local is mostly about vendor reviews and giving recommendations. I post there occasionally, and people seem relatively sane. 

    I never posted on my month. It was full of checks and just seemed, well, not my style.

    Edited to make me sound competent.
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  • Unfortunately, the month boards are usually the blind leading the blind, so to speak.  My month board wasn't terrible.  We had a mod, and then we went over to The Nest and all hell broke loose when one girl wanted to be validated for her poor attitude and people called her out on it.

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  • My local was mostly vendor related.  My month was pretty full of checks and a few of them were going through RCIA to be baptised Catholic before their weddings and it got a little bible-study'ish for me.  (Disclosure - I'm a non-practicing Catholic).

  • My local board is fairly dead, but I will say that there are a lot of etiquette rules that Utah breaks commonly.  "Second" weddings are common, and people are generally not invited to the ceremony, as examples. 
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  • Well, I understand the non-ceremony rule for Mormons because of the temple.  Does the no-invite-to-the-ceremony thing carry over into the non-mormon population?

    My local board is fairly dead.  But from time to time, these weird posts pop up.

    I was thinking about it just because today two posts in a row popped up with etiquette faux pas.

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  • Sometimes the non invite thing carries over to non LDS.  When half the population is doing something it becomes more acceptable. 
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  • My local is pretty ok etiquette wise - I post on where I'm having my wedding as opposed to where I live - it has been much more helpful. 

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey
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    My local isn't as active.  It goes in waves for mostly reviews and help with finding a vendor to stay in budget.  My month board is terrible on ettiquette.  I don't even go on there anymore unless I'm board.  There is a lady on there who is currently married and having her vow renewal, but basically its her PPD.  She had 2 showers and she went back to complain about the 1 because no one showed up except for 2 people that weren't in the wedding party.  She was very active on the board, creating posts everyday and everything.
  • My local board is definitely more accepting of things that are not strict good etiquette, and I have seen plenty of posts about how "mean" and "snarky" people on the international boards are. I don't spend a lot of time on my local boards for that reason. I actually much prefer everyone on the international boards. :) I only go on my local boards for vendor reviews occasionally.

    I LOVE my month board. Everyone is sweet and supportive without endorsing bad etiquette.
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  • My local board is good for vender recs, and that's about it.  My month board is filled with people who are just picking their dates, since it's still 11 months away.  I can't relate to them right now.  I've had my date and venue since January last year.  I mostly stick with the big boards since they're active and this board in particular is entertaining.
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  • I don't think so. I think etiquette is based on where you live & what is accepted somewhere is not necessarily accepted everywhere else.
  • My board is completely dead. There are posts almost a year old on the front page.
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  • In Response to Re: Are local boards all just havens for poor etiquette?:
    my local board isn't too active.  When folks post, it's mostly about Olga the seamstress.  My month just seems to be a series of checks. But it does seem that local boards are a bit more wedding-bee-ish in general.
    Posted by MyUserName1
    I just went on wedding bee because I had never heard of it and oh my goodness, I am floored by the way grown women are trying to treat each other and their families! I've lurked around this board for a while and learned a lot, I always send people this way on the local/month boards :) 

  • Does our local board really get many posts like that? Every time I go there it's dead and usually venue questions. Other than the recent post, I never see it there. I  guess I need to check it more. 
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  • In Response to Re: Are local boards all just havens for poor etiquette?:
    I don't think so. I think etiquette is based on where you live & what is accepted somewhere is not necessarily accepted everywhere else.
    Posted by Dont AskMeAgain
    You're confusing "customs" and "etiquette."  Just because it's common to do something in your area doesn't mean that it proper, etiquette-wise.  For example, in some areas, it is common to hold tiered receptions.  That doesn't make it "right" by etiquette standards.

    OP - many of the people on the local boards form close, tight-knit relationships.  GTGs are common and regulars on local boards tend to remain IRL friends, even after the wedding.  As such, you end up getting advice that you might expect from close friends or family members; it tends to be fluffier becausepeople that don't want to upset each other.  There tends to also be a lot of validation for that same reason. 
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  • My month board is pretty much checks, and my local is slow but decent.  I haven't seen anyone encourage a faux pas recently at all.  Mostly it's vendor help and "whatcha think?" posts.  I love my local board because they all have great tips to score things on the cheap.
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination
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    My local board is also dead, maybe a few posts a month.  Shame, because I think we really need that board to be more active.

    I don't have a month board yet, because we can't set a date until after we know where and when we're moving, and when we can both take off work to do it.  But I've cruised some of the month boards, out of boredom.  For the most part they seem really cool, but some I just don't get.  Seems like a lot of E gray area on some, but most of them are pretty good at nicely putting the smackdown on any REALLY bad ideas.  I'm kinda looking forward to being able to have a month board.

    I liked it here from the beginning.  I lurked for awhile first and thought "Man, those girls have some serious ovaries.  They're mean and snarky and honest and RIGHT, all at the same time. They're awesome."  And so I stayed.
  • My local board is also more or less just for vendor/venue suggestions and reviews. Occasionally we get an etiquette related Q, like one girl wanted to replace her WP, and a few Knotties (including me) told her it was a bad move while the other half of the replies were supporting her. She sounded like she already had her mind made up from the start. 

    My month board is far more active and we are all generally pretty supportive but so far no one has really put forth any idea I just could not stand, other than B-listing, which IMO is not the worst offense one can commit in terms of WR etiquette. We mainly just talk about what we have to do next and random stuff. 
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  • My local board is vague because depending on who you ask I'm in both Central and Upstate NY. For NYC'ers just about anything north of Westchester is Upstate but we live near Canada so we are pretty upstate - but we're also centrally located upstate so there rocks my boat. People there ask anything from which DJ to use to which plumber to use so it's a pretty useless board.

    I really like my month board; it's a lot of fun over there!
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  • Monkeysip, I'm from H-town too, but I'm getting married in Austin so I've only gone to that board.  It's pretty slow, but the vendor reviews have been great.

    Now I want to go see the Houston board :)

    Ali09, I agree - October 2012 is fantastic!  I haven't been active on it that long, but nobody is supportive of bad ideas.

  • No, but some people on the local boards really do not know how to to go back a few pages or Google.  Recently we've had a few people that are basically looking for a free wedding coordinator, asking us to plan every detail of their wedding for them with these "I can't decide please help!" option posts for photog/venues/dreses/accessories/etc.  Like.. to the point I'm surprised they were even able to decide on saying yes or no to their FI when he/she proposed.

    Other than that it's just reviews and vendor issues/questions.

    TBH there are some bullies on a lot of the international boards, no offense.  The amount of wank (no matter who is right or wrong) is a big enough turnoff not to drop by so often for me, anyways.
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