Question??

amiechoate · May 2012

For the brides that are already married...what do you remember most in terms of the actual day? Was the food important? Flowers? Did you cut your guest list to have the reception you wanted or did you compromise all of the extras to have everyone there? Thank you in advance for your responses!

StephBeanWed61502 · May 2012

I'm not already married, but I've been a guest at about a million weddings, and as a guest, here are the things that matter/add to my comfort & enjoyment:

1. Food - good food is key.
2. Density - meaning, did you pack the absolute maximum number of people into your venue, making it cramped, hot, and gross, or is there space for people to move around/spread out/etc..
3. Entertainment - was the DJ/band good? Did they play good music? Was the music loud enough? Too loud? Etc.

The only time I have ever even noticed the flowers is when they were the wrong height for the table and blocked my view of the people sitting across from me. That was really, really, really annoying.

AbbeyS2011 · May 2012

Personally, I think food and beverages at the reception are key, whether it be a simple cake and punch reception, or a 5 course dinner with a cocktail hour complete with open bar. Whatever you do, make sure it tastes good, and there is plenty of it.

I would go easy on decorations - it is one day. That is just me though. I am minimalist when it comes to things like that.

I agree with Steph's comment about the reception site being cramped or spacious too - that is another important key.

Happy Planning!

cwaggoner07 · May 2012

I agree with centerpieces! Large, tall ones are simply a way to spend more money to annoy your guests.

OwningAHome1981 · May 2012

I'm not married already either- but I'm going to chime in and tell you what I think is most important (to me)- again it might vary for you.. but for me

1) day of wedding- this was super important to us b/c we have a lot of out-of-towners and having a friday or sunday would have been a huge inconvenience for them with work and kids and traveling etc etc. So we picked Saturday night... which hopefully gives people ample travel time where they don't have to miss work.
2) having the guests we want- the people are what make the party. Hoping not to cut anyone but we will see.
3) price- obv b/c we're not rich.
4) reception venue- we had a few places we liked equally but ultimately we went with the place that was most in our budget.
5) food
6) music- I liked the music at every wedding I have been at so I'm not picky about this... prefer a band but would have a DJ to save $$ if we have to.
7) photography- again, not picky- I like most of the photos that I have seen from weddings.
8) officiant- as long as they are non-religious and funny, it doesn't matter who we get.
9) flowers- i really don't give a crap about flowers at all b/c they are just going to die in like a day anyway. yes they are pretty but honestly I'd rather have fake ones b/c they will last longer and look just as good.

And that's my list.

rlavach · May 2012

Yes, we did cut our guest list so that we could have what we wanted. What I remember the most was all of the great music & dancing. Plus, the food was awesome. While I don't remember anything about our centerpieces because I didn't go look at them, I a lot of people complimented us on them.

blgrout · May 2012

I will ditto PP about having good food and drink. We are still getting compliments on the food and cake from our wedding, so we're not the only ones who remember it. Also, our photographers did a great job of helping preserve moments from our day (both those we saw and other things we missed).

I agree to keep costs down on decorations. I did low candle centerpieces on each table and got everything at Value Village and spray painted everything to match and everyone thought it was really neat, even though we spent about $50 on 10 centerpieces. Having good music was also important as well. Our DJ rocked.

jennipea382 · May 2012

I'm also not married yet but I'll add what I remember from other people's weddings.

-Food, sorta. Honestly, I don't remember that much if it was good or bad, just the choices and whether or not it was a buffet. I get disappointed when there is something I don't really like. I don't eat steak, so I never choose it. I usually choose chicken if it's an option, but I was sad at a friends wedding when I got my chicken and it had mushrooms all over it. No one else at the table liked mushrooms, so we piled them on the one person's plate that liked them. So be careful about choices of food IMO. This is one reason we're thinking about a buffet - people can eat as much as they want, there's a good amount of choices for everyone, and there is a built in vegetarian option (there will be at least 4 vegetarians at our wedding).

-How much fun I had. Did I dance a lot? Did I have a good time or was I totally bored out of my mind the whole time?

-Where it was. This can't really be helped since a lot of my college friends have their weddings in their hometowns or where they currently live, but it does suck a little when I have to drive a long ways to get there. Also, how far the ceremony and reception are from each other. I don't mind maybe a half hour drive but if there's a lot of traffic or it's like an hour, I wouldn't like that.

-Gap between ceremony and reception. I remember my cousin's wedding having a huge gap between the two. I think they had some sandwiches at the church for people to snack on. Then I think I went with my mom to help set up the reception (I was 13, so it's a little fuzzy. We did the centerpieces). I think if we didn't have something planned to do, we would have probably headed home for a bit since we lived sorta close. My cousin and the WP went bowling and drinking for a few hours. Fun for them, but boring for everyone else.

Remembering all of that made me realize what I SHOULDN'T worry about that much at my own wedding. I'm not doing extravagant centerpieces because I don't really remember more than the ones I helped make, and the ones at the wedding right after I got engaged (we got engaged 2 days before their wedding so I was already scoping out ideas, haha). I think the most important things are the venue, the food, and the entertainment. The little details don't matter that much to me, and I know from experience they don't matter that much to the guests :-)

jennipea382 · May 2012

Oh, I should also mention - I tend to remember the cool, unique details. For example, at one wedding there were rubber duckies on top of the cake, and I loved it because it was totally them. Another friend's husband insisted on having a song from Zelda playing during their ceremony. I wouldn't have known except I almost had to make a run to her house to get the CD they forgot, but they ended up downloading it onto someone's iPod. But I thought it was cool that they did something different like that.

So those little personal details are also things I remember!

brittneyh4 · May 2012

Personal details are something I've always remembered too, and I've spent a lot of time making sure our wedding is "us". My centerpieces have been $75 for 45 of them (mason jars with candles and a vase with rocks/twigs and a fake flower all on a wood round with a neat spray painted deer/heart..not an actual heart..meh, hard to explain). Since it was so cheap we opted to put two on the longer tables and make it look more evened out.

I don't always remember the exact meals, but if there is a super small selection I definitely remembered that. I went to a wedding where they have a ton of different appetizers, but they had enough of each app for maybe 20 people (at a 200+ wedding), so it ran out really fast.

Also uncomfortable chairs. And a super long ceremony, I once went to one that was an hour long, and wasn't due to any religion or culture, just a bunch of weird stuff. I also went to one that was so short (under 2 minutes.. we didn't even sit down after bride walked down the aisle!) that it kinda felt like 'what was the point'.

We just went to a wedding in April that the officiant didn't have any sort of microphone, and I was three rows back and didn't hear a word anyone said. Most people played on their phones the whole time, couldn't hear a thing.

jennipea382 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_question-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ef199b72-5fed-4163-95a6-2f7e889d88b9Post:d78fa32d-a1a0-4ef6-988a-43f6a15e43df">Re: Question??</a>:
[QUOTE]Personal details are something I've always remembered too, and I've spent a lot of time making sure our wedding is "us". My centerpieces have been $75 for 45 of them (mason jars with candles and a vase with rocks/twigs and a fake flower all on a wood round with a neat spray painted deer/heart..not an actual heart..meh, hard to explain). Since it was so cheap we opted to put two on the longer tables and make it look more evened out. I don't always remember the exact meals, but if there is a super small selection I definitely remembered that. I went to a wedding where they have a ton of different appetizers, but they had enough of each app for maybe 20 people (at a 200+ wedding), so it ran out really fast. Also uncomfortable chairs. And a super long ceremony, I once went to one that was an hour long, and wasn't due to any religion or culture, just a bunch of weird stuff.<strong> I also went to one that was so short (under 2 minutes.. we didn't even sit down after bride walked down the aisle!) that it kinda felt like 'what was the point'.</strong> We just went to a wedding in April that the officiant didn't have any sort of microphone, and I was three rows back and didn't hear a word anyone said. Most people played on their phones the whole time, couldn't hear a thing.
Posted by brittneyh4[/QUOTE]

Oh, this too! Thanks for reminding me, haha. One of FI's friends got married a couple years ago and the ceremony was like 10 minutes. SUPER short. That stood out to me. On the other side, I have to admit I groan a little when I know I'm going to a Catholic wedding, especially if I know they're going to have a full mass type ceremony. It takes so long and it's a little uncomfortable for me because I'm not Catholic, and I've heard at many ceremonies that non-Catholics aren't "allowed" to take the communion. Maybe I was at weird churches, but I always felt a little offended by that. Nothing against Catholic ceremonies, I actually do think they're beautiful, but they take soooo loooong lol :-)

OwningAHome1981 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_question-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:ef199b72-5fed-4163-95a6-2f7e889d88b9Post:16817e24-7f46-49b8-838c-a7e0ea8e540f">Re: Question??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question?? : Oh, this too! Thanks for reminding me, haha. One of FI's friends got married a couple years ago and the ceremony was like 10 minutes. SUPER short. That stood out to me. On the other side, I have to admit I groan a little when I know I'm going to a Catholic wedding, especially if I know they're going to have a full mass type ceremony. It takes so long and it's a little uncomfortable for me because I'm not Catholic, and I've heard at many ceremonies that non-Catholics aren't "allowed" to take the communion. Maybe I was at weird churches, but I always felt a little offended by that. Nothing against Catholic ceremonies, I actually do think they're beautiful, but they take soooo loooong lol :-)
Posted by jennipea382[/QUOTE]

This. I'm not catholic either and one time I tried to go up to get the wafer b/c i was hungry not knowing you had to be catholic and one of my other friends was like "you can't go up there!" and i was like "but I'm hungry"... haha apparently God didn't care that I was hungry- no wafer for me. I don't like how long they are I don't like religion being shoved in my face b/c i don't believe in it- super uncomfortable is right!

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

As the bride, I most remembered taking pictures and having a great photographer and then dancing the night away with our friends. I felt like I barely got a chance to eat but our cake was delicious!

As a wedding guest, I definitely remember the hospitality of it all--was I comfortable? Fed? Was it fun? Food and drink and not having to wait forever to get food after the wedding is something I remember as a guest, as well as having a good time at the reception.

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