Catholic Weddings

Church Issues! Need advice!

So my FI and I are getting married in October. he travels a lot for his job expecially in the summer. We have to do pre cana but the woman who does it has postponed it since last fall. I have been calling the church and even talk to he head father and he said he would call me back with information next week which was last week, but he never called. Now they are saying that they lost my FI paperwork showing that he recieved his sacraments last Easter. they said they have no record that he went to the classes or anything. Im so fed up that i dont want to even get married in a church anymore. i dont know if i should go somewhere else or just get married at the catering hall.

I dont know what to do anymore. any advice?

Re: Church Issues! Need advice!

  • Don't give up!

    I know it can be a huge hassel, but it's worth it to marry in the Church!  

    Did FI receive his sacraments in the church you're marrying in?  If not, contact the original church.  Did he not receive/keep any paperwork with his sacrament info?

    You still have a while since you're not marrying until October.  You still have time to get through pre-cana.  Just be patient and keep talking to the church.  If things keep going like this, maybe you can marry in another parish.  But don't abandon your church plans!

    Good luck and I hope things get better.  Sometimes we have to remember that priests and parish staff are just as busy and scatter-brained as us sometimes.

    SaveSave
  • Don't lose hope! I'm sure there is an easy solution. First, are you saying your FI was recently confirmed? Did they not give him a copy of his certificate? That would solve that problem! As for the pre-cana, I have heard of some couple Skyping their classes. Could you see about that? I hope this is resolved quickly!
    Anniversary

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  • Look on your diocese/archdiocese website and see what the requirements are and how you can fulfill them. It should mostly be the same as what the rest of us are doing but there are different types of classes you can take that have nothing to do with your individual parish such as engaged encounter etc. That is a weekend program where you go to a class on fri night, sat day and half of sunday. You can usually do it online as well. You will also need to attend NFP classes and there are multiple options for that as well. 

    In terms of your Fiance's record of his sacrements the diocese/archdioceses he had them in should have the info, actually which ever church he was baptised in should have the info, not the church he received the rest of the sacraments in if it's a different church. My fiance and I are living in separate states at times and it's been hard but it is possible. Don't stress out or worry until you have contacted the diocese/archdiocese about everything. Best of luck to you!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Well my mother, and old fashoned Italian woman, and myself talked to the church today and the diocese of rockville center. ((My mom might be 60 but she still has a lot of fire in her. lol)) and they were able to find his paperwork and they are making me a certificate today. they just "misplaced it" for a year. Undecided

    As for the pre cana, the father said that he will take care of everything and one way or another we will get married on October 13th. im holding it to him. if not i am going to have my mother have her way with him again. and believe me you dont want my mom to have to "talk" to you a second time. 

    You would think that because my dad does all the accounting for the church that this would be a little easier

  • Tami87Tami87 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2012
    sigmaurse- I've seen multiple places where you posted that NFP classes is a requirement for you. Are you getting married in the Archdocese of St. Louis (guessing by location next to your name)? I am starting to get nervous because I am getting married in St. Louis and our priest told us the only thing we needed to get a certificate for was the engagement encounter weekend we are going on. Also as far as I can find on the website this is the only formal requirement for marriage prep. We signed up for the couple-to-couple league online NFP class but I have had some trouble getting my charts reviewed and hearing back from them, so I am wondering if I need to really get on this. My understanding was that NFP classes were not required and I was taking them just because I wanted to learn, not because I needed to have proof I did them.
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  • In St. Louis, the introductory class of NFP is required. Some priests don't enforce this.
  • Thanks. Is the inroductory class of NFP the same as the couple-to-couple league classes or is it a shorter introduction similar to what I expect to see on our engagement encounter weekend?

    I just want to make sure I have all the paperwork I need. It is a little confusing with being married in St. Louis but living in Maryland.
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  • The intro class I know of is the creighton one...its more involved than encounter.

    The point of it is to introduce a couple to NFP and the science behind it in hopes they will use it. Seeing as how you are doing online classes and charting, that fulfills the idea of the requirement.

    So in case your priest asks for a "certificate"...just explain what you've been doing. This kind of "paperwork" is not like a baptismal certificate. It's more making sure you were introduced to it.
  • Okay thanks for clearing that up. That makes sense. When our priest had brought up NFP briefly we mentioned how we had signed up for the online class and I had started charting. From what he indicated, we are supposed to send him the certificate we get for doing the engagement encounter weekend but that was all he mentioned (besides baptismal certificates). I just got worried it was some diocese rule he forgot to tell us about that would cause us issues later.
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  • Creighton teachers give certificates automatically, there's a lot of people there just to get their certificate, and for the priests that require them.

    It sounds like your priest is trusting that you've taken care of the NFP part and isn't requiring documentation. If he does, just ask through the service for one.
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