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Lost with ceremony!

emricmacyemricmacy
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in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
We met with our pastor last month, and she said we need to come up with ceremony ideas. We are completely lost. We don't want to do a unity candle or sand.
How does this work? We are having a few people in our wedding party read scripture, but what else??
Just so lost!
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Re: Lost with ceremony!

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited February 2013
    I'm not sure I understand why your pastor thinks you need to come up with "ceremony ideas."  Doesn't your church have a standard ceremony?
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 2013
    That's slightly concerning that your pastor doesn't have a ceremony outline or template.

    Anyways, it's pretty simple if you're having a non-religious or non-demoninational ceremony. If you're getting married in an actual church/religious ceremony, please double-check requirements with your pastor and/or church secretary.

    Processional
    Introduction/Welcome
    Blessing (if you're religious)
    Reading (one or two. maybe three max. Can be a Bible verse/poem/song lyrics/passage from a book that means something to you and FI)
    Vows
    Rings
    Pronouncement of Couple
    Kiss (only if you want to Wink)
    Recessional
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  • emricmacyemricmacy
    First Comment
    We have never been to this church before, but it is in our hometown. She claims we need to come up with the whole ceremony.
    The pastor said there are no requirements, just to keep God in mind.
    weddingcountdown.com
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    edited February 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_lost-with-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b28a0ba1-db25-4ee0-b4e1-db2b647b9856Post:85be151a-0ea8-4b68-b723-3d953d078757">Re: Lost with ceremony!</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have never been to this church before, but it is in our hometown. She claims we need to come up with the whole ceremony. The pastor said there are no requirements, just to keep God in mind.
    Posted by emricmacy[/QUOTE]

    I'd find another church then.  You should not need to come up with the whole ceremony.  Her job is, or should be, to conduct ceremonies according to the laws and rules of the church and she's clearly being lazy and passing the buck to you.  In fact, I'd even bring that to the attention of the church elders.
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  • emricmacyemricmacy
    First Comment
    We have already paid for the church to use it for the wedding. We would be out a lot of money! I just have no idea what I'm supposed to come up with. FI and I are not going to do anything "special" as in sand, candle, etc. Like I said we are having some family members read scripture, but other than that, we want to keep it simple. Not sure how to tell the pastor that.
    She told us last month in our meeting that we can look online for ideas.
    weddingcountdown.com
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_lost-with-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b28a0ba1-db25-4ee0-b4e1-db2b647b9856Post:10c2536d-54e7-42fd-a412-302e87a6c2a9">Re: Lost with ceremony!</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have already paid for the church to use it for the wedding. We would be out a lot of money! I just have no idea what I'm supposed to come up with. FI and I are not going to do anything "special" as in sand, candle, etc. Like I said we are having some family members read scripture, but other than that, we want to keep it simple. Not sure how to tell the pastor that. She told us last month in our meeting that we can look online for ideas.
    Posted by emricmacy[/QUOTE]

    She's really unhelpful.  Can you find out if some other pastor can at least co-officiate with her?  Her expecting you to do all the work is really dropping the ball.
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  • emricmacyemricmacy
    First Comment
    She is the only pastor in the church, and does not allow us to bring in another pastor.
    Just not sure what to tell her! When we met with her, we said we've never done this before, and she gave us a strange look.
    weddingcountdown.com
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    It's not that hard. Just follow the order I gave. Google is your friend.

    You can use wording samples found via this page....

    http://christianity.about.com/od/christianweddingelements/a/weddingoutline.htm
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_lost-with-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:b28a0ba1-db25-4ee0-b4e1-db2b647b9856Post:e0d6eac3-1e1c-42b4-8c79-8d493a604167">Re: Lost with ceremony!</a>:
    [QUOTE]She is the only pastor in the church, and does not allow us to bring in another pastor. Just not sure what to tell her! When we met with her, we said we've never done this before, and she gave us a strange look.
    Posted by emricmacy[/QUOTE]

    That's the point at which I would have found another church.  This pastor seems really unprofessional.
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Ask her for a template. You are unsure of what is appropriate and what other parts you should include. It's her job as the officiant to give you some direction. How did you come across choosing her as the officiant??

     I mean, you could walk down to the "A$$" song and it could be about "loving God's beauty" - doesn't mean it's appropriate for a church.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_lost-with-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:b28a0ba1-db25-4ee0-b4e1-db2b647b9856Post:85be151a-0ea8-4b68-b723-3d953d078757">Re: Lost with ceremony!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>We have never been to this church before,</strong> but it is in our hometown. She claims we need to come up with the whole ceremony. The pastor said there are no requirements, just to keep God in mind.
    Posted by emricmacy[/QUOTE]

    Just looked over this statement again.

    It's entirely likely she's a bit offended that you're not attending the church. Hindsight is 20/20, but you and FI probably should have attended at least some of her church services prior to 'paying the bill'.

    Could you take a different approach?

    "Pastor Sue, FI & I would greatly appreciate your advice on our ceremony. We are so excited to get married, and want to be fully respectful of the church's customs and traditions. Could we set up a time to discuss the vows, prayers, and scripture we should use?"
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