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No one told me how miserable this process would be

jillerypilleryjillerypillery member
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in Chit Chat
If I were to weigh all of the negative experiences I have had planning my wedding against all of the positive, the negative wins.  My FI is not very supportive in that he just wants to do everything as cheaply as possible-food, drinks, music.  Nothing else is relevant or worth my stress.  I also have a FMIL who is apalled at anything outside of traditional wedding custom, and a mother who does not want to hear one complaint.   I asked my FI to please, please decide on his wedding party so I could coordinate their suits.  We are 60 days from our wedding...FI doesn't see the point in groomsmen matching.  Anyway, long story short is that it seems as if every aspect of this wedding has been an uphill battle. Why does everyone want me to "do what I want" and then fight me the entire way??  

With 60 days left, I'm to a point where I feel ready to toss the whole thing.  I'm so miserable. Help!
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Re: No one told me how miserable this process would be

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    HisCBHisCB
    First Comment
    oh hun, im sorry youre having such a negative experience. is there anyone in your life who is as excited and happy and supportive as you are? MOH or BM?
    feel free to vent here, and try not to stress the small stuff...
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    debdebdoldebdebdol
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    Sorry to hear what you are going through.  At this point, you should do whatever you want to do.  If no one is helping you or giving you and input, well...then you make the decisions, and if they don't like it tough. 

    When you are feeling down you should treat yourself to something that will make you feel better....a glass of wine, a manicure, pedicure, or a relaxing bubblebath.  You only have two months to go and it will be over.  Good luck to you.
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    deepcovejackiedeepcovejackie
    First Comment
    You sound really stressed.  Take a step back for a second and regroup.  Will the world cave in if all your expectations arent met.  You will still be just as married if the groomsmen suits dont match.  60 days until youre married!  Thats pretty great!  I think at this point your vision of the wedding is less important than your sanity.  Good luck!
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    duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I'm sorry things are so bad.  I had a lovely experience (mostly) planning the wedding.  I think you need to talk to your FI and get on the same page regarding both of your visions for the wedding as long as handling his mother.
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    kaynix21kaynix21 member
    First Comment
    I am so sorry! That's miserable.

    I know what you mean. My FI is a PITA. He says I don't listen to his opinion, even though I do, but since he's convinced I don't, he refuses to help or give input and then is put out because he doesn't love it.

    And he doesn't take the wedding seriously it seems like.

    He wants everything to be a joke. I'm all for fun, because we're goofy, but some aspects I'd like to enjoy and not have it be a laugh. Or an attempt at one.
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    vegetaravegetara member
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    If your family is paying for it, then, I think you do need to do it their way (sorry-but, not all of us are that lucky!).

    I had similar issues and was absolutely miserable about wedding planning. We went to Las Vegas and got married in a wedding chapel. (Just last weekend). We stayed at the Bellagio and indulged like we would never normally be able to afford to. It was still MUCH cheaper than the big fancy wedding and I didn't have to worry about pleasing anyone but us! My only regret is that we didn't get a few more pictures!
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