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I don't know how to tell my MOH to stop copying me! HELP!!

goembelmgoembelm member
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in Wedding Party
My Maid of Honor and her fiance have decided on a date for their wedding and its 2 months after mine. I was so happy to be able to help eachother with our weddings! It was going to be so much fun!  That is, until I found out what her colors were going to be-- the same as mine.

I love her to death and we've been friends ever since we were kids (she's also my cousin and she's the one who introduced me to my fiance- which is why i chose her to be my maid of honor). But, she's always been trying to copy everything I do since high school and try to top what I've done. I've been told by a lot of people that she has complained to them that she doesn't have my style, looks, personality etc. So, because of that, I then started to help her out when she goes shopping for clothes, give her tips on easy ways to do her hair and makeup. All of that helped a little and she was happier (and I was too!! lol) That didn't stop the copy-cat routine though.. I get a new car, she gets a new car 4 days later... i get engaged, she gets engaged (which, obviously was up to her man- but he's the same way she is lol)... i get a new haircut, she gets a new haircut.. and so on.  I can get over her copying me with all of that stuff.  That's easy to brush off.  But when it comes down to starting to copy my wedding?? 

I have no idea how to bring this up to her.  I just want for once to have my own thing that nobody else will have.  No, the colors aren't a HUGE part of the wedding, but it's still a part of it.. and I'm afraid that if I let this one slide, she's going to try something else.

And I also can't help but be a little irritated that I wasn't even considered to be part of her wedding party (she picked my step-sister instead)- eventhough we have been good friends for so long and for all the crap that we've put up with from eachother.  And again, it's not a huge deal and it is her choice who to have in her wedding. I just don't think I can stand to let her copy MY wedding. I don't want it to come off like I'm being a *beep* about it and ruin everything!! Help me please!! 
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Re: I don't know how to tell my MOH to stop copying me! HELP!!

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I know a copycat like that and at first it is no big deal, but then it just gets incredibly annoying.

    There isn't much you can do but not share wedding details with her.  All she really needs to know is what color her dress wil be and you can keep the rest to yourself.

    Her wedding is after yours so if she does copy, no one will know that at  your wedding.  Isn't that what is really important?  You are going to have to let this go and keep your plans quiet.
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  • omegoshomegosh
    First Comment
    I agree w/ PP. You'll just have to keep mum from now on. If she throws a fit, you'll have to stick to your guns and say that you want your wedding to be a surprise - even for her.
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  • StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    If you don't want her to copy your wedding, stop telling her about your wedding.  If she doesn't know what you're doing, she can't copy it.  Problem solved.
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  • futuremrsgatesfuturemrsgates
    First Comment
    I'd say hush, too!
    "So what? So it's not going to be easy. It's gonna be hard.
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  • goembelmgoembelm member
    First Comment

    That's the other thing though, she already knows what our reception theme is. And she's known about the colors for 3 years now (my fiance and I cancelled the wedding and split up a couple years ago). No, I don't think she will copy our theme but I'm afraid that if she starts copying one thing that there's going to be no end to it.  It's just frustrating lol But, both of you are right, and you said the same thing that my co-worker said last night. Maybe i should just let this one go.. Thank you Smile

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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Don't give her details.  She can't copy what she doesn't know.
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  • parrothead84parrothead84
    First Anniversary First Comment
    At least yours is first. Wink
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  • kennazebrowskykennazebrowsky
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_dont-tell-moh-stop-copying?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:447afc71-a919-4884-b20d-821dfbc65d92Post:cedb1aba-278e-4752-a166-1f0a87215ba5">Re: I don't know how to tell my MOH to stop copying me! HELP!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you don't want her to copy your wedding, stop telling her about your wedding.  If she doesn't know what you're doing, she can't copy it.  Problem solved.
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]


    This lol. Sucks she is like that but be flattered- she knows you have good taste!!
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  • MeghannsixMeghannsix member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    If you can't beat 'em, join 'em,  any chance you could split the cost and share some decor/etc?   Otherwise, I'd stop talking wedding to her.  Good luck!
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  • AurorasEnvyAurorasEnvy
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    Yeah, stop talking wedding details and just be flattered that someone looks up to you so much!
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  • Sydney91Sydney91 member
    First Comment
    You are a great friend to her from what you have told us, and you want her to have something that is all her own. I would do one of 4 things:

    One:
    I would tell her that you're having trouble choosing between 2 things. Pick one thing and keep it quiet, then let her think you're convinced to go with your second opition. It sounds as though she has very little self-confidence, but she has to learn to step out on her own.

    Two:
    Talk to her fiance and convince him to become incredibly involved in the planning. This may not work if he is into copying too, but you know if this would be worth a shot or would shoot you in the foot.

    Three:
    Openly tell her that you will help her, but keep your plans private. She can't copy what she doesn't know and it will be hard for her to copy everything in the 2 months between your wedding and hers.

    Four: Let her copy and sell her the decorations from your wedding to recoup some costs and reduce her costs, plus it's reducing how much stuff is used (envrionmentally friendly) and it's no longer yours - it becomes her headache to store/sell/get rid of.
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  • finesse910finesse910
    First Comment
    I mean, she's your MOH, so it's a little hard to keep hush-hush when she's the one helping you plan. I would just remember that her's is AFTER yours. So that's her problem for the most part. However, if you're worried about your budget, use this to your advantage and share decoration costs!

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