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Thank you card- Lost in the mail?

lanamilolanamilo member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My mother's SIL and her daughters threw me a shower in May.  I send out my thank you cards within a week.  At my sister's wedding recently, she was bad mouthing me for not thanking her for throwing the shower.
I'm 99.9% sure that I thanked her specifically for the gift she gave (with her daughters) as well as the work she put into the shower preparation.  I know how she can be, so I know I was specific.

Do I assume she never got the card?  It did come from across the country, so I'm sure that is a possibility.

So now, several months later do I send another card and assume it got lost?  I don't really feel comfortable calling her, I'm not that close to her.  The only reason why she co hosted the shower was because my mother hosted showers for her daughters.

It's really bugging me that she is being this way, since I know I sent the card.

Thanks for your input.
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Re: Thank you card- Lost in the mail?

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    entropicbeautyentropicbeauty member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    Well since she's already gone to the trouble of rudely bad-mouthing you, I would just let this go. 

    If it got delayed in the mail there is not much you can do, and there's no saying another thank you card wouldn't just also get lost. For all you know she got it and accidentally threw it out before opening it etc.
    image
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    lanamilolanamilo member
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    Thanks for your perspective!
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    misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-card-lost-in-the-mail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ad36cac5-48ee-4dfb-8c44-7c13297f60d4Post:a9e9a56e-ef77-425c-8f91-6d611755643d">Re: Thank you card- Lost in the mail?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I'd ask her about it directly, but I'm confrontational like that.</strong>
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. </div>
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    lanamilolanamilo member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited November 2012
    I'm not though!  And it would have to be on the phone and not face to face since I live 1500mi away.

    Thanks, ladies!
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    Kate61487Kate61487 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I'd either ask her about it directly (over the phone is fine, but don't send mom as a messenger)  or just let it go. 

    Did you give her a hostess gift?  Perhaps that's what she's crabby about - that you didn't thank her specifically for hosting and instead just tacked it onto the gift thank you?  Stupid to be petty about it; but just an idea...

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    achiduckachiduck member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I would probably call or e-mail and ask why she felt the need to badmouth you behind your back when you promptly wrote and mailed TY cards.
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    lanamilolanamilo member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks for the advice, ladies.

    I would not send my mom after her.
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    nicoleandersonmdnicoleandersonmd
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-card-lost-in-the-mail?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:ad36cac5-48ee-4dfb-8c44-7c13297f60d4Post:db2ad806-c628-4696-9d04-47f278b18687">Re: Thank you card- Lost in the mail?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thank you card- Lost in the mail? : Me too, but I'd be really sweet about it so she'd feel bad about gossiping behind my back.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]



    I agree with this entirely. It is generally more effective to be pleasant and tacful with people when adressing sensitive topics where people can become defensive easily.
    Also, making her feel guilty about her behavior is also a plus ;)
    "Always be kinder than you think is necessary, for you never know what personal battles people are fighting."
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