Second Weddings

Renewin our wedding vows!

My husband and I have been married since December 17, 2006 and it was a rush wedding because we got pregnant. We tried to have a nice wedding laterbut my sister in law had us change it to our in laws 50th birthday party. And we had a small ceremony in the church so that we could become Catholic tht only involed a few people from our family. We wanted to have the wedding we always wanted but, we are not sure. My mother in law says that would be great. We don't want gifts or money we just want to have the day that we never got. Is that wrong? We want to declare our love for each other infront of the entire family.

Re: Renewin our wedding vows!

  • edited December 2011
    My original wedding was the worst day of my life thanks to family and drama queens.  We had 4 months to plan thanks to my psych of a SIL.  Basically everything that could go wrong....did.  My best friend told me that my wedding is now a classic "what not to do"!  

    My husband and I are renewing our vows next summer in the wedding in the wedding that we actually want.  We want neither money or gifts but rather a day that we remember fondly with pictures that actually turned out.

    Have a great time doing it!  We are calling our "The Sequel" (as he's a big movie buff and I'm a huge bookworm!).  

    PM if you want any resources!  Good luck too!  Have a great time planning - this time you can do it all the way you want!
  • BeeBee22BeeBee22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You've been married for almost four years.  You presumably have at least one child. You had some sort of church ritual.  Exactly how many times do you feel the need to put on a "me" show?  Stop it and get on with your marriage and your lives.
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    lboyer1984, I'm confused...  You got married in 2004. When was your Catholic wedding?  And when are you thinking of renewing  your vows?

    A few years ago while on a trip I met a couple who had been married 25 years, and every year on their anniversary they would renew their vows.  This was the husband's idea he didn't believe that the marriage contract was permanent, so if they didn't want to renew their vows he figured the contract was over.  They didn't have a huge ceremony each year but they did have someone preside over their vow renewal, sometimes they were on a trip when this happened, sometimes it was a ceremony at their church. Every 5 years or so they would have a little bigger celebration.  I thought this was interesting, and therefore I cannot find fault with those who renew their vows.

  • isis842000isis842000 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    My Husband and I are renewing our vows in August of next year. When we got married we could not afford a big wedding and none of our friends or family were there. We have been through a few trials over the past 10 years and we have made it through together and now our lives are renewed and we want to renew our marriage as well. Also our Faith is a big part of our family and we really want our marriage to be blessed by God in His house. So with all that being said, I say go for it who cares how many times you've done it before, go big or go home is what I say. Don't worry about all the people who say "get over it"  and "move on".

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_renewin-wedding-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:4fd086d9-2244-42e0-b3e9-5505ced3ab56Post:e29359f2-4f5a-4aa8-8047-a26531128359">Re: Renewin our wedding vows!</a>:
    [QUOTE]You've been married for almost four years.  You presumably have at least one child. You had some sort of church ritual.  Exactly how many times do you feel the need to put on a "me" show?  Stop it and get on with your marriage and your lives.
    Posted by BeeBee22[/QUOTE]


    If you don't have anything positive or constructive to say, its best to not say anything.  What is it to YOU if a couple decides to renew their vows every other week? 

    Apparently the OP feels the need to have a "me show" three times.  Know what they say about that?  Third time is the charm....
  • BeeBee22BeeBee22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_renewin-wedding-vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:4fd086d9-2244-42e0-b3e9-5505ced3ab56Post:162083b9-7089-4182-8b04-a2030c8e2da4">Renewin our wedding vows!</a>:
    [QUOTE].... We wanted to have the wedding we always wanted .... we just want to have the day that we never got. Is that wrong?
    Posted by lboyer1984[/QUOTE]

    <div>Arv, of course they can renew their vows whenever they want (although, as people have pointed out in other threads, they don't expire).</div><div>
    </div><div>She's asking whether it's wrong to go through (after a wedding and a second ceremony of some sort) the pantomime of a 'vision' of a wedding she's been hanging on to for nearly four years.  She's asked for opinions.  I think it's juvenile.</div>
  • edited December 2011
    BeeBee -- Your comment of "I think it is juvenille" is a lot less harsh than "get on with your life."   I was stuck on the tone not the opinion.  


  • VraechelVraechel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My husband I are kind of in the same boat. We got pregnant and had a quicky marriage. We didn't tell anyone except our parents and a few close friends. We didn't buy rings or anything. So now a year later, our anniversary if we can get a site, we are having our marriage blessed by the Catholic church. We are having a ceremony and reception. I'm very excited, however...I know there are people in our families who think it's silly to have a wedding when we are already married. For us it's not about having a "me show", as it is having our marriage recognized by the church and the people we care about. Also I've known some people who have had more than one vow renewal. Like after their marriage has endured a hardship. I think it's beautiful to celebrate your love with your family. Although be prepared that some people wont be quite as excited the 3rd time around.
  • isis842000isis842000 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I total agreewith you Vraechel.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • sambarnettsambarnett member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My husband and I are renewing our vows in 2012 for our 10th yr anniversary. We were young when we got married (19+20) and because of this did not have the support of our families. The day of our wedding was filled with hurt and anger from and about our families. Because we were so young we had no money! (big surprise! LOL) So we had a ceremony in my grandparent's church and a cake and punch reception in the church basement. When talking about the idea one day my mother offered to pay for a "re-do" of sorts. It will be a nice outdoor ceremony by our pastor and a great reception with served dinner, dancing and drinking! We have been through alot in 8 years... we kinda grew up together in a way. I can't wait! Including our 2 daugthers (7 and 2 now) will be priceless!
    My advise to others... Do what you want, in today's world marraige doesnt last very long anymore... so celebrate your love! Who cares what others think, you are doing it for the 2 of you!
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've only been to vow renewal ceremonies that were a part of 50th wedding anniversary celebrations.  I understand the desire expressed by wives married for fewer years, for instance 25th anniversary celebrations, but honestly have never heard of this phenomenon (couples married fewer than 25 years) before reading/posting on TK.

    That said, I agree ... Do what you want.  The reason my FI and I are having a blow out, fun multi-generational celebration is that we'll not likely make it to a 50th wedding anniversary (I'd be 100, he'd be 100+).  Have fun!
  • VraechelVraechel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I just want to weigh in one more time. I honestly believe that as long as you are doing it for yourself then it's fine. Just don't be attached to people giving you presents and getting all crazy about your day. I'm considering just requesting that my guests donate to the pancreatic cancer center instead of presents if they want to do something for us. A lot of people already gave us presents when the word leaked out we had tied the knot. 
  • VraechelVraechel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    RetreadBride-
    Actually, I've seen it done at weddings. Just let people know that you don't want presents if they wish to give something feel free to donate to a charity instead. I don't see how it's any different than telling people where you're registered. I don't require another toaster, picture frame, blender...
  • VraechelVraechel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I understand the purpose of a registering however, my husband and I have already "set up house". We are 30 years old.
    I certainly wouldn't ask for money on my invitation, however if people ask where we are registered I don't think there is anything wrong with telling them that we don't need gifts. It's not like I'm planning on sending donation envelopes to my guests. If people really feel inclined to buy us something then I guess they will.
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