Hi all! I'd really appreciate some advice here.
Backstory: My MOH is my cousin. We basically grew up together because we are the same age, but have never been particularly close. The reason she is my MOH is because my mom told her mom (my aunt, her sister) that I was going to pick her before I had even made a decision about the bridal party. I ultimately decided to just go with it for the sake of family harmony especially because I have other bridesmaids that I am very close with and I don't think the distinction between MOH and BM is all that great.
Dilemma: MOH announced a few months ago that she wanted to throw me a shower. I don't really like bridal showers but she said she really wanted to plan/pay for it so I agreed and was very appreciative. Last I had heard of this was that she had enlisted FSIL to help her and it was coming along. Yesterday, FI gets a call from his mom, saying that MOH has basically backed out of the planning and dumped the entire shower on FSIL. FMIL now wants either FI or me to speak to MOH and let her know that if she wants to host the shower, she needs to plan/pay for it because FSIL can't and MOH had already agreed to do it.
I really don't want to get involved in planning my own shower but I don't want FSIL to bear the cost and time of planning this when MOH had already agreed to do it. Further, and this is where the backstory is important, we're not that close so I don't even know what I would say. I honestly would have been perfectly happy to skip the shower altogether, but she was the one who insisted on doing it and has now left everyone to deal with something she started.
As an aside, the same thing happened with my bachelorette party. She told another BM that she would help her plan. When the BM tried to set up calls to discuss, she was never available nor did she answer e-mails. Ultimately, BM just took care of it.
Can I just decline the shower? What if someone has already invested money in it (again I'm not sure as I've been trying to stay out of it)? Are there any reimbursement obligations here?