April 2013 Weddings

Stressed.......advice???

Hey ladies, sorry this will prob be long.... So I got engaged 4/15 and Fi and I have 2 beautiful girls just to give you background so yesterday me, my moh, bm, mom and grandma went to look at venues. I fell absolutely in love with one, but wasn't sure I could afford it. My grandma came out of the blue and said she would pay for the venue the bar totaling 6000.00. My grandma and I have always had a rocky relationship, my brother and male cousins have always been her fav. Anyway I was so excited, cried thanked her a million times and it was great. She called me this morning, went on and on about how it's so much money and said she has to pray about it. Now this venue has my date 4/13/13 avail.... But only this date in April. I'm supposed to take the deposit on Sat, which I have it but that cuts into the I was going to use for other ones....... I don't know what to do. I have been in some other boards and the ladies aren't always nice, please don't be mean here, just looking for advice
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Re: Stressed.......advice???

  • Honestly, I would decline your Grandmothers help. It sounds like she will hold it over your head, and the money comes with strings attached.

    You say that you aren't sure if you could afford it or not, have you talked with the manager and let them know your budget to see if you could work something out? Our reception venue is at a banquet hall that I actually used to work at when I was younger. I always wanted to have it there, but never thought I could afford it. My FI and I spent hours one day just looking at back up venues, and then my dad said "Have you looked at your #1 choice yet, no, so why don't you look first, crunch numbers and if you can't do it THEN look at back ups". Best advice lol. We went in and it was actually cheaper than the places we were looking at. (the knot gave it $$$ and that is what was scaring us, turns out that is so far from the truth lol).

    With that being said, we are having a large wedding, so most of our budget is the actual hall, so we will be sacrificing on everything else. But it is what we both want. Talk to your FI, see if you can cut costs in different areas. Would you consider an earlier, daytime reception? That might cut the price down. I know you said its only available on a Saturday, but are you only looking at Saturdays? I know Friday weddings are sometimes cheaper.

    But getting back to your grandma, if you don't think you can count on her, chances are you might get screwed. So just be careful if you do accept her gift. Good luck!
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  • I agree with PP. I would not use your grandma's money, it sounds like it might be very difficult. I would seriously look at your budget with your FI and decide how much you really want to spend. Have you discussed cutting down your wedding guest list? This is probably where you might cut the costs the most. I also agree with PP, that venues are willing to work with you. There are ways to cut costs like doing non-floral centerpieces, not doing top shelf, and just having a signature drink, wine or beer. I HTH, and hang in there. Think about things that you really want during your wedding day, and places where you can cut back!
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  • Hey girls, thank you so much, it is so nice to get other points of view. My bm called the lady at the venue and she said she would cut the deposit in half and will charge me based on the total head count at the rehersal!!!!! Most venues out here have a minimum!!!! Thanx again ladies
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_stressedadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:8b30ad5c-ab8c-4d95-85f3-2bdf49140353Post:a26a264d-7ac9-4020-8e2d-07482a76c28b">Re:Stressed.......advice???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey girls, thank you so much, it is so nice to get other points of view. My bm called the lady at the venue and she said she would cut the deposit in half and will charge me based on the total head count at the rehersal!!!!! Most venues out here have a minimum!!!! Thanx again ladies
    Posted by abbyizzymommy[/QUOTE]

    <div>That is great news.  And don't be afraid to post here.  These ladies are very helpful and give great ideas!</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2013-weddings_stressedadvice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:820178d7-4f43-4671-bcab-c5c2c01eef1eDiscussion:8b30ad5c-ab8c-4d95-85f3-2bdf49140353Post:1ec07b72-5ecb-4655-835a-db6190146a2b">Stressed.......advice???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey ladies, sorry this will prob be long.... So I got engaged 4/15 and Fi and I have 2 beautiful girls just to give you background so yesterday me, my moh, bm, mom and grandma went to look at venues. I fell absolutely in love with one, but wasn't sure I could afford it. My grandma came out of the blue and said she would pay for the venue the bar totaling 6000.00. My grandma and I have always had a rocky relationship, my brother and male cousins have always been her fav. Anyway I was so excited, cried thanked her a million times and it was great. <strong>She called me this morning, went on and on about how it's so much money and said she has to pray about it.</strong> Now this venue has my date 4/13/13 avail.... But only this date in April. I'm supposed to take the deposit on Sat, which I have it but that cuts into the I was going to use for other ones....... I don't know what to do. I have been in some other boards and the ladies aren't always nice, please don't be mean here, just looking for advice
    Posted by abbyizzymommy[/QUOTE]

    This makes me think she was caught up in the moment (when she offered) and now that she had time to think about it she is going to back out.
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