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How do you respond to this question:

mcrotondomcrotondo member
First Comment
in Canada-Ontario
Hi ladies

Has anyone else been put on the spot like me....ugh.

How do you respond to the questions:

"I'm invited to your wedding right?"

or

"I'd love to come to your wedding, can I come?"

but guess what, they are not invited and there is no room to invite them, and even if there was, they would not be invited anyway.

thoughts?
Monique
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Re: How do you respond to this question:

  • LittlinLittlin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would just tell them that you determined the budget and guest list when you first got engaged, and that you are keeping it simple with family and close friends, and that unfortunately it is not in the budget to invite everyone you wanted to, so NO, you are not invited - sorry!

    Ugh - I know the feeling.  I limit any talk of it at work, but a coworker and close friend did my invitations (I knew her from school before we worked together) so sometimes the other people would ask about it as we talked.  Luckily most people understand!
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  • ssaeedssaeed
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have been getting this a lot too. I would simply say that the guest list is still being finalized, or that you want to keep it small, but there are a lot of family members. I think most people these days understand that they can't be invited to every wedding. I don't talk about it at work, other than to people who I know will be invited to the wedding.
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  • PreppySailorPreppySailor
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oooh, I would never ask somebody that, I think only one person asked DH that. I would just say you're still working on the guestlist but that it will be mostly family and yada yada yada, They'll get the idea.
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  • miellenmiellen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    UGH. I had one particular person ask me about 3 different times and even asked other people to see if invitations had been sent out yet. AWKWARD.

    I avoided it at first, but I had to address it eventually. "The guestlist is already maxed out, there are a lot of friends I want to invite but I won't be able to" was a pretty good line I think! And it was true, too.
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  • unplainjaneunplainjane member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i think it's rude when people ask this question. you shouldn't feel bad, they should. no one has asked me this yet but if they did i would just say i'm still finalizing the guest list.
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  • LittlinLittlin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I only invited two coworkers (I'm a teacher, and there are 14 science teachers in my department, not to mention the other 150 in the school) - one I've known for years and one I grew closer to this year (I was on the fence about inviting her and just decided to) - they both knew that I wasn't really inviting work people.  YESTERDAY my close friend says "we are staying overnight for your wedding - I'm so excited", and the other coworker says "oh I can't come to your wedding - it's my 35th birthday party that night" - right IN FRONT of 4 other teachers...*sigh*  

    The others didn't say anything, but I wanted to shoot them both, lol.
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  • ring_popring_pop member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ugh, it's so rude of them to ask! But I feel your pain. I avoided it for the most part by not talking about the wedding with anyone that I wasn't inviting, but some people still asked. Deflect - "Oh we're still working on the guest list" - and if that doesn't work, I really like miellen's approach.
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  • mcrotondomcrotondo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Ladies.  Yeah rude I'd say.  Oh here is another one for you.  My aunt asked me, so how much is it per plate?

    Who asks these questions?  Seriously!

    What I have settled on saying so far is, we would love to have everyone we know at our wedding but the truth is the venue is small and the guest list is maxed out with family.

    what can you do ugh
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  • LittlinLittlin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    They probably asked because traditionally you are supposed to get a gift that is roughly the cost of the meal, but most people just guess based on the formality and location of the event!
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  • mcrotondomcrotondo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I understand the reason why she asked but you just don't ask that kind of question.  We are Italian, so she knows the drill.
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  • LittlinLittlin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Seriously - I can't believe people ask some of the questions they do!
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  • mattycammattycam member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had to laugh at this question because it is so true! I had one person ask this question already who I had no intentions of inviting. Isn't the point of invitation to be invited? one is not supposed toinvite themselves. lol. People are priceless!
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