Since most of you think I'm a whiny brat that shouldn't be getting married, I am going to take a moment here and set the record straight.
I had a lovely living arrangement when I first moved here. I chose to help FMIL out knowing that it would be temporary. I thought (silly me) that it would help us grow closer. Instead, I have been ignored at almost every turn for a year. The reason I stay is because if I left, FI would have to deal with her himself and she treats him only a little better than she treats me, i.e., she addresses him directly when she wants something. While he hasn't been the greatest at initiating conversations with her that would better the situation, I don't believe it's fair of me to expect him to; she's a hard woman to talk to. That being said, I do love her, and I appreciate what she has done for her family since her husband's death. I wish she would talk to me, and I'm very upset that she doesn't, but I believe that will come in time. I may have to have a child before things get better, but they will.
As for why I am marrying my husband: Yes, he is nearly spineless when it comes to Mom, but so am I. However, when I have said something to stand up for myself, he stands with me, and he does speak his mind (however much his voice shakes) when she does something completely out of line. I realize I haven't given him credit for this. He is also the kindest, most loving man I have ever met; he is my best friend, and his greatest motivation in life is to make me happy. I have seen so many stories on here about women whose fiance's are jerks, and I am so glad that for the first time in my life, I'm not in that position. I can say with all honesty that he has never said anything purposefully hurtful to me, and he has tried as hard as he can to make my time in that house bearable.
Yes, I have vented here about the IL's. Yes, I have gone to my mother and vented about the IL's, which is probably where the rest of my family is finding their ire. But if I can't come here to vent, or go to my Mom, where can I go? I've been in some really infuriating situations that I would love to see any one of you handle any better. We all need someone to talk to, do we not? Isn't that why we're here?
Sincerely,
Bratty Katie
PS--We are moving out the first of January. Considering that the wedding is in three weeks, and Christmas is thereafter, I hope that's soon enough for y'all.
December 18, 2010!!! Never thought I would be a winter bride; just hoping we don't get snowed in until AFTER the wedding!