California-Los Angeles

To Change or Not To Change???

Hi Ladies,

I'm unsure about what I want to do regarding changing my name. Ever since I was little, I always thought I would take my husband's name.  But now, I'm not sure.  I have so many things (including my own home business) in my maiden name, I think it is going to be a royal pain to switch everything.  Also, I'm not sure I want to.  I like my name and now am kinda sad to think it's going to no longer be!  I like his name too so it's not that.

It's been 4 months that I've been  married and I haven't done anything about it.  Now my mom wrote me a birthday check and put my married name, so now I have to figure out how to cash it.  And it got me thinking all over again about what to do.

Ugghh!  Well, my questions are:

How was the experience of changing your name?
How long did you wait?
Can I have some things in my maiden name and others with my married name?

TIA for your input!!!

Re: To Change or Not To Change???

  • Vans18Vans18 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Did you change your name when you got your Marriage license?

    Something alike is happening to me. I got my marriage license with his name because I always was sure to do that when I would marry. Now, I feel so sad leaving my maiden name behind. I have done no effort to change it. But I think it's too late now, right? I mean I already signed and sent out the marriage license paperwork with my new last name. I should have hyphened it.

    Maybe you should hyphen your last name...and like that you have both. GL this is a tough decision.
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Aw, Niko, good to see you back on here.

    I changed my name 4 days after the wedding and it was pretty simple.  The SS office and the DMV were pretty quick but it took me forever to change everything else (my bank, car insurance, credit cards.  I am still needing to change my health insurance and it's been 9 months!).  My old last name sucked and I couldn't wait to change it, that's probably why I did it so quickly.  

    You should think about what Vans said.  Maybe hyphen you last names or even put your maiden name as your middle name and take DH name as your last.
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • dorotheagoodorotheagoo member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    One of my coworkers told me it is really difficult to hyphenate your name on legal documents unless you hyphenated on your marriage licence.
  • edited December 2011
    i was in the same boat for months, i finally decided to have my maiden name moved up to be my middle name and take his last name. he is also taking my last name as his middle name so that our kids can all have the same combo. it's a nice comprimise. it also helps that jay-z just took beyonce's last name. he made it cool!
  • edited December 2011
    I got married in May 09.  I changed my name after several months at the DMV and SS, work, insurance, etc.  Most of my accounts have my new name, but I still haven't changed a few things, like my bank account. 

    I was worried because I had checks written to me in my new last name and my bank account was still under my maiden name, but it ended up being ok.  I just deposited it in the ATM.  If I can fit it, I add my maiden name to the check, just in case.

    It was all a big pain in the but and I will be happy when it is all over!
  • edited December 2011
    I am going to take my FI's name, but I plan to continue using my maiden name professionally, at least in the beginning (I have a 1000 business cards with my maiden name--I need to use them up first!).  When I read wedding announcements on the NY Times (yes, I am a dork), I've noticed that a lot of women continue to use their maiden name professionally, so that might be an option for you.  One other thing for you to consider is whether you want to have the same last name as your children (if you're planning on having kids).  That is important to me, so it helped me make the decision.  GL!
  • edited December 2011
    Depending on what kind of work you do, you can still use your maiden name professionally.  For example: my voice teacher still uses her maiden name when she performs, even though officially on paper her last name is her husband's name.

    I am going to be taking my FI's last name.  My dad changed my middle name when we came to the US to something that was very unfemine.  So, I am taking the opportunity to change my middle name back to the one I was given at birth while changing my last name to my FI's family name.

    The best person to ask really is a lawyer.  They'd be the one to explain the finer points on where you can still maintain your maiden name and where you have to change your name to your husband's name.

  • nikojammnikojamm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies!  I know everyone has their own circumstances, but I've really been back and forth on this one. 

    Jagore: yea, I check in somewhat often, but as someone (I think princessa) said, once your wedding is done, you don't have as much to post about.  So I respond when I can, but it's still nice to be a knottie!  Oh, and I don't think your old last name sucked!

    Vans: yeah, I thought about hyphens, but that's just complicated for me.  Funny tho, all of our names are first names so that would be funny!

    Boston:  thanks for letting me know about your checks and the bank.  I will be going back in the next day or so.  I'm gonna see if they can just add the other last name on the accout.  Maybe if they see our marraige cert?

    Artists & Tilliea: Thanx for sharing about using maiden professionally.  I think for now that's what I'll do.  Yes, part of my home business includes a membership to a law firm, so I was planning on calling them to ask.  I just don't want to do anything illegal!

    Thanks again ladies for all your input!
  • geal3456geal3456 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Just in case your still wondering. I changed my last name. I did it because like above I wanted to have the same last name as my kids. I never thought to keep my own last name to me changing it was a given. It is a hassle though at first, but once its all done your good and hopefully you'll never have to change it again. Oh and it took me about 3 months before I changed it.

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