Wedding Etiquette Forum

How did you stay calm on your wedding day?

I'm curious... on your wedding day did you have a drink, take a pill, take some deep breaths, or do nothing to calm your nerves/anxiousness?
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Re: How did you stay calm on your wedding day?

  • NebbNebb member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    I didnt get overly nervous until about an hour before the ceremony - I was peeking from the upstairs balcony and saw my husband and the best man hanging out on the steps where the ceremony was being held and I was hit by the fact it was really happening soon and got a little anxious but I just took a few moments alone to compose myself. No drinks until the reception for me.
  • edited April 2010
    My nervousness came in waves throughout the day. My BMs, mom and I all got ready in my hotel suite, and I was last to get my hair done so I was antsy for the first 4-5 hours. I couldn't eat, but made myself choke down something so I wouldn't regret it later. I also kept drinking water to stay hydrated, and laid on the bed, closed my eyes, and tried to rest as much as I could while everyone else was getting ready. Laying down on my back helped me feel grounded and I could relax.

    Then once I put the dress on and was on my way to the ceremony, I got nervous again! :) I don't know that there's much you can do at that point, except to remember to breathe and focus on not tripping down the aisle. Once H and I recessed down the aisle together, all the nerves just melted away.



    image
    Taco cat: Always a palindrome. ALWAYS, okay J&K?

    "cool......insult my size 2 body or my natural brown hair...or the fact that my parents own a country club, I have no budget for a wedding, and I have horses. I really dont care. Its better then having roots." ~ futurepivko
  • I have moderate anxiety, so I'm going to talk with my therapist to see if it makes sense for me to just do relaxation exercises, or to go a step further and take something to relax. I'm also a nervous crier (happy or sad occasions), and I'd like to avoid being a blotchy, streaky mess. We'll see!
  • Nebb, I got nervous when I read about you peaking and seeing your husband and the best man... I can totally see me doing something like that!

    Poli, I am like you and get emotional during happy and sad times! I'm scared I won't be able to get my vows out. Speaking in front of people isn't a problem for me at all, but I can see myself being so overwhelmed that I just cry the whole time!

    Thanks for the tips! I definitely don't want to be drunk or drugged up at the alter, but I know I get anxious pretty easily so I wanted to see how everyone else dealt with the nerves!
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  • NebbNebb member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    :) they didnt see me. They were on the steps greeting guests when they got there and it was just nice watching what was going on without being involved. I can still see it in my head like it was yesterday too - the way the sun was, how everyone looked, the way I felt. Its something that just stays with you forever.
  • I cry too! I am so worried about this, for some reason, sugar free fudgecicles help me calm down IDK why, but I intend to have some on hand.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-stay-calm-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d760969-fe9a-4f32-af28-2e777c2a447aPost:2c41fa27-52c5-4f1a-98ad-9b917c755004">Re: How did you stay calm on your wedding day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]:) they didnt see me. They were on the steps greeting guests when they got there and it was just nice watching what was going on without being involved. I can still see it in my head like it was yesterday too - the way the sun was, how everyone looked, the way I felt. Its something that just stays with you forever.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
    I love this :) This helps <strong>a lot</strong>, THANK YOU!
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  • I know, pretty much for a fact, that fi will be taking a beta blocker that day. 
    For me, I think just deep breaths will do it.  I'm not nervous - I can't wait!  I don't mind being up in front of people or anything, and I really can't think of anything that could go so horribly wrong that I'd be actuallly upset about it at the ceremony. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_did-stay-calm-wedding-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5d760969-fe9a-4f32-af28-2e777c2a447aPost:0170de26-0347-40e5-95b9-325a0984b5c1">Re: How did you stay calm on your wedding day?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I cry too! I am so worried about this, for some reason, sugar free fudgecicles help me calm down IDK why, but I intend to have some on hand.
    Posted by katieanne85[/QUOTE]
    Haha for some reason this reminds me of the dedication of Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult:

    <div class="fwikiAtomicValue" style="min-height:12px;"><em>This one is for Katie Desmond,

    <strong>who fed me Oreos for breakfast on my wedding day,
    </strong>
    appreciates the fashion sense of blue suede shoes,

    and knows just how many people died that first night out on the</em> QEII.

    <em>Every once in a while, a person's lucky enough to

    make an unforgettable friend: you're it, for me.</em></div>
    image
  • I woke up and I was excited, not nervous.

    I had mimosas at breakfast and maybe an hour before the ceremony was when I started getting emotional, but not scared-emotional. It was so-freaking-happy-it-was-finally-here-and-everything-is-going-so-well-I-can't-believe-I-pulled-it-off-emotional.

    I didn't really do anything when that came along.
  • We're doing a first look & photos before the ceremony, which I think should help a LOT.  And, I fully intend to have a mimosa or two while we're getting ready, but not much more than that.  
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • DH and I had a really small wedding so I'll answer for my first wedding instead. I really don't remember being nervous -- I spent the morning with my family at brunch, very low-key, not at all nerve-wracking. After that, I went to the salon for hair and makeup -- my sister and a best friend were there, along with my mom. Again, fun, not scary.

    Once I got to the venue, I met the rest of my BMs there, slipped into my wedding dress, and then immediately met the ex- for our pics together. I think takings pics with him before the ceremony was the single best thing we could both do for nerves -- we got to see each, get a little teary, then laugh and have fun taking pics. After the two of us, we did pics with the bridal party and family so there was no time or space to be nervous. 

    The only real moment of nerves was when I ran back up to the bridal suite after we were done the pics before the ceremony while guests were arriving. And then I had about 1/2 glass of wine -- not enough to get even remotely drunk, just enough to take the edge off. 

    Anyway, I highly recommend pcis ahead of time -- not only for the obvious reason of being able to socialize with your guests right after the ceremony, but also to spend time with your FH and experience and enjoy the lead-in together as a couple.  
  • I know my photographer highly recommends the "first look" so I'm glad to hear it went well for some other people and helped to calm nerves. I'll have to talk it over with fi and see what he thinks. Thanks again for all the input!
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  • I was too excited to be nervous! And it all happened so fast, I didn't even have time to freak out if I'd wanted to :) I think my biggest advice is to have as relaxed and as fun morning as you can. My bridesmaid had kidnapped me the night before and took me to her house to tie ribbon on bubbles and drink, so I slept like a rock the night before. We actually slept til like 9! We had coffee and breakfast at a coffee shop and just chatted for a good hour. Then we did hair, nails, and make up, which was fun. I think doing all those fun, relaxed activities with her kept me from being stressed and nervous. The best part, I didn't have to deal with either my family or DH's until about an hour before the wedding when we did pics with everyone. I didn't see DH before the wedding (except for one small slip-up, like Nebb, a moment I will always cherish: his face lit up, I screamed Shane! He clapped his hand over his eyes and dashed back out). I got a little nervous right before, but then it all just went so quickly I forgot to be nervous :) good luck! You'll be fine.
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    (Married)meganandshane.weebly.com~
    (Planning)shaneandmegan.weebly.com
  • my girls kept me calm and i had total faith in the woman who planned everything for me...plus people kept hiding the oh sh%t moments from me so...and it's not like much more could have gone wrong at that point( and there was a lot). just breathe and have your girls distract you. it sounds ridiculous but maybe bring either music or a dvd that is your comfort thing...like linus's blanket...
  • I actually didn't get all that nervous, surprisingly. The morning of was really busy with the last minute preparations and decorations (we did everything ourselves), then when I was upstairs getting ready I kept peeking out the window to see all the people arriving. My mom was doing my hair so she kept me pretty calm most of the day.

    I got nervous just before it was time to head out, but moreso because I had to face all those people. So I just focused on my DH and did my best to ignore the guests.
  • Doing our photos before the ceremony definitely helped calm me down. I was a lot more relaxed than I thought I would be getting ready, and it helped a lot that everything was on schedule/early. Seeing DH beforehand was wonderful. I did get a little nervous about walking down the aisle, but it was fine.
    imageimageimage
  • I don't post a lot on this board, but lurk. This thread helped me! We're doing a first look and I'm hoping that will help me be able to calm down and be more "there" for the walk down the aisle. Where otherwise I think I would just be so nervous I wouldn't remember it. I'm hoping I'm strangely calm the morning of!
    ~Erin~
    proud pagan
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I had a couple of mimosas while we ate breakfast with my aunt and uncle (J's first time meeting them).

    I wasn't really nervous until right before the doors opened and I realized I didn't tell J not to lock his knees. This REALLY tickled my dad for some reason, and that got me giggling too.

    He, however, was a nervous wreck. The only way he made it through, I found out later, was 4 screwdrivers, 2 with my brother in the hotel room. :)  I don't suggest 4 of anything. His tolerance level is high and the first two were probably an hour maybe two before.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • I was calm and excited anticipating the events of the day, I never really got nervous or anxious - people even asked if I'd taken a Xanax - it's uncommon for me to be the calm one in the crowd.  :)

    I loved spending the morning with my mom and sister who helped me get ready. 

    Once I let go of worrying about Mother Nature and her plans for the day, I let myself enjoy getting ready (and it didn't rain, it was just misty) and I spent most of my time laughing - and avoiding the groom who was determined to see me before the wedding!!
  • we were married in teh a.m. so i didnt have to worry all day.

    the only panic i had was after all of the photos were done (we spent 2 hours doing everythign before teh wedding) and i had about 20 minutes to kill before we walked down teh aisle.  total panic attack.  however, it went away the second we started walking down the aisle.  it was kinda cool, actually.
  • I took half a xanax at about 8 am. I was totally fine and calm all day. Then right as the limo was driving up my block to get me (2:50), i ran back in the house, held up my veil, vomited in the toilet, and then got in the limo. I felt a million times better LOL

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic There's no room for you mommy! Shorry!
  • I'm not having my wedding for about 2 yrs but when I get nervous about anything, I tend to have a puzzle at hand and that distracts me until I forget about what I was nervous about. hopefully that'll work for me on my big day. :D
  • I do not know what I am going to do. I am a freak I swear. I have just been involved with every step of my wedding because I am so DIY and because we have a large invite list 400 on a $10,000 budget and we're doing a full buffet dinner. So, I have had to be DIY and overly involved/obsessed to get everything in that needed in without forgetting something or going without. It makes me so anxious when I am not in control of even the little things at the wedding. I really cannot relax. I had a nervous/anxious moment when I was getting my practice hair done ha. I just hope having everything done before and nothing too last minute will help. I have been also just prepping myself for little mishaps so I don't get bent out of shape because I know they will happen. Any other suggestions will gladly be taken :)
  • When I get seriously nervous about something, I turn bitchy!  Unfortunately! lol  If I have to drink before the wedding to keep me from turning on someone I love then that is what I will do! Hopefully, though, I will stay calm and happy, or atleast not get THAT nervous. 
    1st pic of us together. Apparently I thought something was funny.
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    ~Holly and Jeff~
    image 232 Made the cut! image 96 Ready to party!
    image 44 Have better things to do!
    image 92 Are going to cause me to have a stroke!
  • I fully plan on utilizing the power of....the mimosa! I get aniexty very easily and cry like a waterfall at hallmark commercials...so I'm pretty much screwed. Me and my BM's are getting ready in a hotel so I will have my girls and champange flute filled with my form of orange prozac. lol
  • This is a big concern of mine.  I suffer from anxiety and panic disorder.  And, unfortunately, your body doesn't know the difference between good stress and bad stress.  So even though I will be excited, I worry about having a panic attack.  I have talked to my doctor, and she thinks it's fine if I just go ahead and take some Ativan in the morning to make sure I don't have a panic attack, so our plan is to try to hedge it off. 

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  • I am getting married in 30 days. I keep thinking about what my sister in law told me. She was throwing up the morning she was marrying my brother. Her sister told her "would it be better if Dan were here". She said "YES!" Her sister then told her "see, you'll get to be with him forever. He'll be there every other time you need him! I love that little story and that's what is getting me through.
  • My sister and I both breakout in this horrible blotchy BRIGHT red rash on our necks when we get nervous. However my sister has been taking some nursing classes and found out that if you take zyrtec or something with an antihistamine in it that it will help keep that from happening. of course you wouldnt want to take anything that would make you sleepy lol.
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