my original hopes for my wedding was to have no wedding party what-so-ever. however, my fiance informed me that he must have his best friend up there with him, which i completely respect. so i said we could do just a best man and MOH.
our wedding is very small- about 30 people- so i definitely don't want more than 1 person up there. i've got 3 gf's.. i've known one for 15 years, one for 6 years, and the other for 2 or 3 years. The 15 year friend automatically said i better be your MOH or ELSE! well, pretty much along those lines. anyways, i just went along with it.. since i knew she would be the only one actually offended if she wasn't included, whereas the others are much more mature and understanding.
and now to my dilemma. i've been engaged since september 09, and my wedding is this october. my MOH hasn't shown any interest in my wedding, so i start to wonder why she made such a stink about the MOH position. she hasn't asked about my dress, plans, nothing. she's even questioned why we are getting married "so soon". furthermore, she's a huge lagger and has no style, so i started to look at dresses and sent her links to see what she likes. she didn't respond to the emails at all. i saw her a week later and asked if she's seen anything she likes and she just said "i'll wear anything you want me to" even though that's a load of crap. at the beginning when she "claimed" MOH, she said i better not make her wear something ugly, etc. i wouldn't do that anyways, i want her to look and feel good.
the 3 year friend has been there every step of the way. she went dress shopping with me, gave her opinion about the save the dates and invites i designed, she is supportive, etc. (the 6 year friend lives in vegas so is not around to do any of these things) my fiance also likes this friend, whereas he strongly dislikes MOH, for reasons that are completely understandable. the only thing my MOH has brought up or been remotely pumped about is a bach party. she wants to do all this wild stuff, whereas i'd rather not.. so that will just be another battle.
i feel that my MOH has a sense of entitlement.. and it's my fault for letting her get away with it but i always hate hurting someone's feelings. i've been thinking and it seems like it makes the most sense to have my MOH as the girl who gets along with my fiance, who supports our relationship, who is happy for us, who wants to be involved, etc. however, my other friend "claimed" the spot.. so that would cause problems. that's just how she is- a self-centered, competitive, entitled, spoiled brat. haha so you might wonder how i am friends with someone when i feel all these things about her... and you're right. it's becoming more and more of a question to myself why i am still friends with her. we've grown apart in many ways- for example, she's still immature and stuck on partying and doing drugs.. whereas i've been clean 5 years and have moved on with my life. she is completely unsupportive of everything- my fiance quit smoking and she always offers him cigarettes cause she thinks it's funny.. but it's really not, and i've told her this. the list goes on and on for the cons of our relationship.. and it's hard to come up with positive things anymore.
i know this is probably something i have to decide on my own but some opinions would be nice. is it possible to switch MOH? would it be tacky to simply have no MOH, even though there is a best man? do i suck it up and keep her as MOH? do i walk away from her completely? do i just keep a casual friendship? if so, then it wouldn't make sense for her to be in the wedding. or even at it?? although i realize she's probably not someone who's bringing anything positive to my life.. it's hard to walk away from someone after that long. gosh, it feels like i'm considering divorce haha