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Last name on invitations

MRSDENNISSMITHMRSDENNISSMITH
First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I was married before (many many years ago) and never changed my name back to my maiden name; however I do not want my ex-husbands name on my wedding invitations.  What's the 'etiquette' here?  I'm afraid if I leave my last name off entirely, "Shannon Elizabeth and Dennis Walter Smith invite you...' makes it sound like I am already a "Smith".  Am I over-reacting by wanting to leave my ex's name off?
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Re: Last name on invitations

  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    Normally the Bride's last name does not appear on the invite. It would read...

    The pleasure of your company in requested 
    at the marriage of

    Shannon Elizabeth
    to 
    Dennis Walter Smith

    Date 
    Time
    Venue
    City, State

    Anniversary
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  • MRSDENNISSMITHMRSDENNISSMITH
    First Comment
    Thank You!!!
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  • Jager1219Jager1219 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-name-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d5d26158-c97c-4c3c-820b-2691f694d6cfPost:e7913c18-0270-4ed0-8e22-64a7e0c193a1">Re: Last name on invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Normally the Bride's last name does not appear on the invite. It would read... The pleasure of your company in requested  at the marriage of Shannon Elizabeth to  Dennis Walter Smith Date  Time Venue City, State
    Posted by brita722[/QUOTE]
    I believe this only applies when the bride's parents are hosting and they have the same last name.  Because it would read:
    Mr. & Mrs. John Doe request the peasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Shannon Elizabeth to Dennis Walter Smith.
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  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-name-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d5d26158-c97c-4c3c-820b-2691f694d6cfPost:28b1a12b-d66d-4635-900e-3288619cee42">Re: Last name on invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last name on invitations : I believe this only applies when the bride's parents are hosting and they have the same last name.  Because it would read: Mr. & Mrs. John Doe request the peasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter Shannon Elizabeth to Dennis Walter Smith.
    Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

    <div>Not necessarily. </div><div>
    </div><div>This wording can be used if the Bride and Groom are hosting the wedding themselves. Therefore there is no need to put the Bride's parents names on the invitation at all.</div>

    Anniversary
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  • meg2marryshanemeg2marryshane member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    This doesn't make sense to me:

    Not necessarily.
    This wording can be used if the Bride and Groom are hosting the wedding themselves. Therefore there is no need to put the Bride's parents names on the invitation at all.

    How would people know who the bride is?
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  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-name-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d5d26158-c97c-4c3c-820b-2691f694d6cfPost:6c061dc4-dac4-4663-b4cb-6088140b5d39">Re: Last name on invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Doesn't make sense to me either, I thought Bride's last name was omitted when parents are hosting only.. otherwise like PP said how would people know who the bride is..
    Posted by clovester[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. I'm sure that CMGr knows, so maybe she will weigh in with what is technically correct.</div>
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  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    I stand corrected on the Bride's last name.... 

    I suppose I just didn't consider sending an invitation to anyone who doesn't know me and wouldn't recognize my name. Nor would they be unaware of my upcoming wedding. 



    Anniversary
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  • thejucheideathejucheidea member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-name-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d5d26158-c97c-4c3c-820b-2691f694d6cfPost:3d6869b1-3e11-4d2b-b5e7-160baa3dbf03">Re: Last name on invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]I stand corrected on the Bride's last name....<strong>  I suppose I just didn't consider sending an invitation to anyone who doesn't know me and wouldn't recognize my name. Nor would they be unaware of my upcoming wedding. 
    </strong>Posted by brita722[/QUOTE]

    ... really? Passive aggressive much?

    I can honestly say that I've never considered not using my last name on the invitation, nor have I had any friends or family who haven't had the bride's last name on the invitation. It has nothing to do with sending an invitation to someone who doesn't know me or doesn't know I'm getting married -- my full name is my formal name, and with a formal invitation, I want to have my formal name.

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  • Sassenach1743Sassenach1743 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_last-name-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:d5d26158-c97c-4c3c-820b-2691f694d6cfPost:434bdb13-a0be-4a9e-a5f6-0e89f28fe71c">Re: Last name on invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Last name on invitations : ... <strong>really? Passive aggressive much?</strong> I can honestly say that I've never considered not using my last name on the invitation, nor have I had any friends or family who haven't had the bride's last name on the invitation. It has nothing to do with sending an invitation to someone who doesn't know me or doesn't know I'm getting married -- my full name is my formal name, and with a formal invitation, I want to have my formal name.
    Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

    <div>I wasn't being passive aggressive. </div><div>
    </div><div>I truly never thought leaving my last name off of the invitation (even without my parent's names in the host line) would be an issue. Nor did I consider it to be confusing as to who I am, but that is mainly because I have an unusual name that no one else in my circle or family has. </div><div>
    </div><div>However, after some thought I do agree that it is less formal not to include last names (especially if the parents names are not on the invitation). So I've actually gone back and re-worked my own wording to include our last names and I like the way it looks much better. </div><div>
    </div><div>Tone cannot always be conveyed properly online.</div>

    Anniversary
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