When to celebrate wedding anniversary?

amys325 · May 2011

My friend and her husband had a very traditional wedding just over a year ago. You know, big wedding party, nice venue, sit down meal, 200 guests.....that kind of thing. Something happened with the officiant and the marriage did not go through properly and they had to get married again a few months later.

I know what their plans are, but what are your opinions on when they should celebrate their wedding anniversary? The actual "traditional" wedding day or the day they signed the papers?

suit10 · May 2011

mmm...that's a tuffy, we signed papers on feb 07, but will have our traditional wedding on aug 13th, so I would say the traditional wedding date.

DodgersBride · May 2011

I say the day they legally got married.

DramaGeek · May 2011

I know people who had that happen. There was something wonky, with it being an out of state officiant and the state office not giving them the right info about what they needed. Anyway, since the didn't intentionally have two wedding dates they use the one with the big wedding as their anniversary. They figure that was the day they meant to be married and if it hadn't been for someone else's screw up, they would have been married that day.

MyNameIsNot · May 2011

If it was something where they intended to get married on one day and have a fake show wedding after the fact, like PP is doing, I would say the real wedding would be their wedding date and for anniversaries.

But if there was a technicality that got accidently overlooked and they had to resolve it with a legal marriage after the fact, that the big wedding would be their wedding and should be the date for the anniversary, because they intended to and tried to get actually married on that day.

DodgersBride · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_celebrate-wedding-anniversary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9f4d45d2-8fd9-486a-bded-7e38e8e59338Post:16a03f8a-7055-4f82-8b37-db5d8bb9da7e">Re: When to celebrate wedding anniversary?</a>:
[QUOTE]mmm...that's a tuffy, we signed papers on feb 07, but will have our traditional wedding on aug 13th, so I would say the traditional wedding date.
Posted by suit10[/QUOTE]

Your legal wedding is Feb 7. So would you want to celebrate the actual day you become husband and wife? I don't get what Feb 7 was if you think your traditional wedding is Aug 13.

Beazilla · May 2011

Whichever day they want to consider their anniversary is their anniversary.

Cynthia1207 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_celebrate-wedding-anniversary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9f4d45d2-8fd9-486a-bded-7e38e8e59338Post:bd345ead-9a84-4895-9977-2fa31b478d20">Re: When to celebrate wedding anniversary?</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, this is a very unusual situation. I would celebrate the date of the original ceremony, since it was not their fault there was a legal problem.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

Ditto. If they weren't aware of a legal problem, I would consider the first ceremony to be the day they celebrate.

Any other situation, it's the day you sign the papers.

I'm kind of curious how you can NOT be aware of some legal discrepancy when you get married? Was it a DW and it wasn't legally recognized?

tally7 · May 2011

whenever they feel like celebrating ! or maybe on both!

Calypso1977 · May 2011

my sister was married on august 27. about 10 years later, she had a convalidation in the catholic church (they found out the priest who initially married them did not have the authority to do so). they celebrate 8-27, not the date of the convalidation since 8-27 was when they legally married.

MyNameIsNot · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_celebrate-wedding-anniversary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9f4d45d2-8fd9-486a-bded-7e38e8e59338Post:5ff7da44-234a-4614-9cff-b44097d386a1">Re: When to celebrate wedding anniversary?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm kind of curious how you can NOT be aware of some legal discrepancy when you get married? Was it a DW and it wasn't legally recognized?
Posted by Cynthia1207[/QUOTE]

<div>It happens. Completely boring legal story to follow: </div><div>
</div><div>In my state (like many states) when you get divorced, you have to this form with the court that sort of looks like a birth certificate. Until recently, many people considered it a formality, and it often got completely ignored, or not filed until months after the fact. A recent court ruling held that these divorced were not final until the document was filed, regardless of what the divorce decree said. It's currently in litigation, but depending on how it comes out, there may be thousands of incomplete divorces. So, I could go to court and be declared divorced on March 1, and have my wedding scheduled for July 1. If that form got left out and didn't get filed until August, my wedding in July would therefore be invalid, and I'd have to run down to the courthouse and get married again as soon as I found out. </div><div>
</div><div>I told you it was boring. But the point is, this sort of thing happens. Or states have problems communicating with each other about divorce, or maybe the officiant had a license problem, or maybe someone forgot to file the marriage certificate, etc. I've actually seen a fair number of divorce cases where the people think they've been married for 20+ years, and it comes out in the divorce that the marriage was never really valid in the first place. </div>

Cynthia1207 · May 2011

Thanks for explaining that! I love getting info so it wasn't boring at all.

Beachy730 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_celebrate-wedding-anniversary?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9f4d45d2-8fd9-486a-bded-7e38e8e59338Post:16a03f8a-7055-4f82-8b37-db5d8bb9da7e">Re: When to celebrate wedding anniversary?</a>:
[QUOTE]mmm...that's a tuffy, w<strong>e signed papers on feb 07,</strong> but will have our traditional wedding on aug 13th, so I would say the traditional wedding date.
Posted by suit10[/QUOTE]

<div>No, you got MARRIED on Feb. 7th. Seriously, I don't think there is anything that irritates me on here so much as when people refer to their JOP marriage as "signing papers." </div>

DramaGeek · May 2011

You know, I was just thinking - I never bothered to get a copy of our marriage license. For all I know our officiant could have forgotten to file our license or not filed it in time and we're not legally married!

When to celebrate wedding anniversary?

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