Water baptism during wedding?

fragiledancer · March 2011

My fiance wants to be baptised as a couple during the ceremony and I have absolutely no idea how to go about it.

Does anyone have any ideas?

And yes - I already checked, he definitely wants it to be in front of the crowd, so the idea of a private after-ceremony baptism is out.

fpaemp2011 · March 2011

Well...baptism is a public outward declaration of your inward decision to accept Christ as your Savior, so a private baptism wouldn't really make sense.

However, I don't really think it would work at a wedding. You'd have to get undressed, get in the clothes you'll be baptized in, get back in your tux and dress, and you'd have to do your hair and make-up again before the reception.

Also, to me, your baptism represents your personal relationship with Christ. Have you both been baptized before?

fragiledancer · March 2011

Yes, we have both been baptised when we were younger.

His thoughts are that a baptism signifies a deep covenant as well...

I should probably also add that this wasn't something that he thought of on his own, but rather God put it on his heart to do at the ceremony...

katanne9 · March 2011

Hmmm, I have never heard of this. I'm not necessarily opposed, but I think the wedding ceremony itself is full of important events and symbolism without adding that to it. I don't take baptism lightly (and i'm not saying you guys do!!), but I would focus on 1 thing at a time if it were me, especially as you both have been baptized before so I'm not sure it makes sense to me.

I think my issue with it is that while your FI is saying that baptist symbolizes a deep covenant, and baptism symbolizes that convenant with God and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your marriage.

I have heard of people washing each others feet at the wedding, or the strand of 3 cords.... Something like that would make more sense to me as you guys enter into marriage because it would symbolize the 2 of you and your marriage under God.

fragiledancer · March 2011

Yeah, I agree with the wedding ceremony being a very full day...

I like the idea of washing each others feet and the rope -- this coming week we have a lot to talk about. (He's back in PA while I'm out in Cali - both for school, but his spring break is this week and he's coming out!)

Any other ideas or suggestions? They really are helpful!

amongthelilies25 · March 2011

me and my FI will be doing communion at our ceremony!

DramaGeek · March 2011

You say that he feels "baptism signifies a deep covenant as well..." - is he thinking this will be a covenant between the two of you? I'm really confused by this. You are making a covenant to your spouse, but that isn't through baptism.

We did take communion together and served each other during the ceremony.

fragiledancer · March 2011

Sorry to confuse you DramaGeek - no, not a covenant to one another, but one as a couple in God. Make sense?

Since we became engaged we've commited to abstaining until our wedding. This is huge for both of us (and may I add difficult, although 2,400 miles between us helps!) and since the beginning of the year I've learned a lot about blood covenants... Seeing as though we aren't even close to having our marriage covered by a blood covenant it's bothered me. Tonight when FI called me he was rather serious about it - as we both want a unique wedding with a special tribute (of sorts) to come into covenant with God together in our marriage.

Hopefully that makes sense... I'm generally the worst at explaining things! Haha!

MrsTucker2011 · March 2011

IMO the rings are a symbol of your covenant. Additional baptising would be awkward - not only as the bride (being wet, hair and makeup, etc) but also as a guest (longer ceremony time, big gaps of time for you to dry off, etc)

The entire ceremony is a covenant before God. Communion, the rings, vows...
If you want to do anything extra, I would stick to simpler things like the unity cord, or feet washing.

AllyG303 · March 2011

I love the idea of getting baptised as a couple. It's like you're making a vow to live for God as a couple and not just an individual. I don't, however, think there is any seamless way to go about it during a ceremony. I think that the rope would work better for the ceremony and get baptised as a couple after the wedding.

kellya01 · March 2011

I saw a couple where the bride was already a baptized member of the church and therefore did not need to be baptized again. Her FI wasn't a member of that church and didn't remember declaring his faith publicly before, so he went forward, declared his faith in Jesus Christ publicly to the church, and when the church did the next couple of baptisms, he did his, and had the family stand up (and his fiancée) in honor of his baptism. It was definitely a feeling of bonding as a couple and they became even closer than they already were. I would suggest if you WANT to do a baptism as a couple, to remember how most pastors do it ... which is one person at a time... and on a regular Sunday morning service. The wedding is a service in itself, and you're doing all of these other things to declare your commitment and covenant to each other. I caution you and your FI from thinking that a baptism is something that needs to happen at the wedding... rather, it should have ALREADY happened before the marriage of a christian bride and a christian groom.

Just my 2 cents.

I love the idea of a foot washing, which shows more love and care than could be expressed in any other way. My church pastor retired last week and did a foot washing ceremony for the new pastor (who started today) and it was beautiful. Not a dry eye in the place. The show of humility is amazing.

Now, that being said... I've heard very good arguments that it is only the GROOM who should be washing the BRIDE's feet, just as Jesus washed the disciples. The disciples, who submitted themselves to Jesus, just as you can be a submissive wife to your husband, would have LOVED to wash Jesus' feet and to show Him how much they loved him. However, Jesus chose to show his disciples that he would be on his knees, washing the dirtiest part of their body, the part no one wants to touch, not even the lowliest servant.

I guess my opinion really is that you must do what you feel is right, but please make sure that you keep God in the equation... not only through prayer as you decide what to do, but also by reading scripture and letting that guide you.

I will pray that you and your FI seek God and let him guide you toward the answer He has for you!! :-)

sister2groom · March 2011

I have never even heard of baptism as a couple, I believe baptism is about and individual and God. I just can't imagine you even finding a pastor willing to do this, so I think this question is beside the point.

BrideToBeBecauseHeLovesMe · March 2011

[QUOTE]I love the idea of getting baptised as a couple. It's like you're making a vow to live for God as a couple and not just an individual. I don't, however, think there is any seamless way to go about it during a ceremony. I think that the rope would work better for the ceremony and get baptised as a couple after the wedding.
Posted by AllyG303[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE]IMO the rings are a symbol of your covenant. Additional baptising would be awkward - not only as the bride (being wet, hair and makeup, etc) but also as a guest (longer ceremony time, big gaps of time for you to dry off, etc) The entire ceremony is a covenant before God. Communion, the rings, vows... If you want to do anything extra, I would stick to simpler things like the unity cord, or feet washing.
Posted by MrsTucker2011[/QUOTE]

Both of these responses is kind of my thoughts. I'm a little torn. :P

squeakyduck · March 2011

Well, firstly, I'm Presbyterian and you can only be baptized once. No matter where you've been baptized, or what denomination it was with, a Presbyterian minister will not re-baptize anyone. We say an affirmation of faith every Sunday and that is considered our...umm...affirmation of faith. (rather than baptism.) If someone feels the need to publicly re-declare their faith, (Which as a presby, doesn't happen too often. We're pretty reserved and private about that at my church.) they can come forward and receive a blessing and be anointed with oil. (Also, we usually get baptised as babies. And there's no dunking- just a sprinkle of water on the forehead.)

I don't think the sprinkling method would be a problem with outfits and whatnot. But it would only work in my faith if they couple hasn't been baptised yet. And even then, I think the minister would rather do it the Sunday before the wedding so as not to interfere with the order of worship.

I think that the wedding ceremony itself is a covenant to each other and to God. Even without communion, foot washing, unity candles, sand or ropes. Yes, the paper is the legal bit for the state, but the in the Presbyterian Church, the wedding ceremony is a worship service. I don't think there's any reason to be baptized again during it. (But I don't see a need for anyone to get re-baptized, ever. I can understand why people might want to though. That's just not what we do at my church.) I think that taking communion together could be just as fulfilling. And you could offer it to your guests as well if you wanted.

I'm a little curious about this blood covenant thing. Could you elaborate more about that?

iamjoesgurl · March 2011

I've never been to a wedding (or even heard of one) where the couple was baptized as a part of the ceremony so I can't speak from experience. Perhaps it would be better to consider the reason that you would seek baptism and talk to your pastor about that to see what he/she would recommend. It just seems to me like it would be awkward for you both to change clothes and then you might not like the pictures that you have from your reception (or anything taken after the ceremony) unless you did a baptism by sprinkling.

AllyG303 · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_water-baptism-during-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:125542ad-8350-4fff-a7aa-53a14007ca66Post:f4c4b234-d8a2-499b-b82c-b306ff1afa97">Re: Water baptism during wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never even heard of baptism as a couple, I believe baptism is about and individual and God. I just can't imagine you even finding a pastor willing to do this, so I think this question is beside the point.
Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]

The pastor at my church (Radiant Church in Surprise, AZ) baptises couples together as well as familes at the same time. They actually did baptisms this morning at church and it's beautiful to watch people make this decision as a unit. Each person is making the choice on their own to live a Godly life, but some of these people choose to make this decision together and want to be immersed at the same time.

Beazilla · March 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_water-baptism-during-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:125542ad-8350-4fff-a7aa-53a14007ca66Post:f4c4b234-d8a2-499b-b82c-b306ff1afa97">Re: Water baptism during wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have never even heard of baptism as a couple, I believe baptism is about and individual and God. I just can't imagine you even finding a pastor willing to do this, so I think this question is beside the point.
Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]
This and once you're baptized, it counts for life. But you could include an affirmation of baptism as part of the ceremony, and your guests could also reaffirm their individual baptisms.

DramaGeek · March 2011

I think that the wedding ceremony itself is a covenant to each other and to God.

I was thinking about this. We wrote our ceremony ourselves, and we wrote our vows to end with "this is my covenant to you and to God." So, pretty much ditto duckie.

mattycam · March 2011

While I think water baptism is wonderful, IMHO I would not include it in a wedding ceremony.

jandjluther · March 2011

My fiance and I are planning on being baptized before the wedding (probably rehearsal day). I love the idea of starting our lives together in the presence of the Lord.

sarah42nd · March 2011

I amn getting baptized 7 days after our ceremony . I think if you do do the baptism then I would make it the last thing you do day of.

sdbelvin · May 2011

Hey, I am extremely interested to hear what the outcome of the baptism during the wedding was. This is something that I feel that God has placed in my heart as well and I am getting negative feedback from those I have shared it with. For me it would symbolize a cleansing of our single lives and a rededication to the Lord as ONE...not separately. We will have both been baptized separately before then, but I am just not finding too much info, or any info rather, about such a thing. I would love to hear how it worked out for you guys!
Thanks
Stephanie

sdbelvin · May 2011

Wow, I so agree with where he was coming from here, as far as a combined covenant to God...seems like we are in the same boat as you guys were...we are working on abstaining as well, and really trying to live in Christ and do only those things that bring Glory to God...wish we could chat a bit...i'd love your insight!
Steph

fragiledancer · June 2011

Somehow we decided that a foot washing would suffice - and so we were planning on that.

Steph - good luck on whatever you decide to do! Sorry it took me awhile to respond. I finished school and switched coasts so everything got a little backed up!

The more I thought about it the more I came to terms with doing a baptism at the rehearsal or earlier - and then doing the foot washing as part of the ceremony. A whole lot easier to pull off in front of guests than a baptism! Steph - you have all the same ideas as we did. So I'm intrigued to hear then what you have decided to do.

If you'd still like to chat a little, feel free to message me - I'm going to be moving off of the site for a little bit, but you're welcome to contact me on here! I'll get it!

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