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yaaay! -__-

Katie MarKatie Mar
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in Snarky Brides
So my stupid self updated my facebook relationship finally (ive been engaged since valentines) and my dads wife's son saw it. Because my stupid self didnt think about censoring it. Now. This is all well and good except that I was not ready to tell my father. His nickname is Vikiing for a reason! I live in this house with him, and announcing my recent engagement will result in lectures about how I cant live in the house when I get married and how I cant afford to get married will likely ensue. Nevermind being happy for his only child to be getting married, no, it will be a constant lecture about how money is more important that getting married to the man of my dreams. And you cant argue with him. Oh no Lord forbid you argue with him. So. I am sharing how stupid I am and how hellacious its about to get in my house in the next few days, so please by all means someone laugh at it because I need to find the humor in this!
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Re: yaaay! -__-

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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yaaay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:34ac5389-237f-4b72-bdcf-10f097c32a69Post:665914a5-f804-444f-9281-6575ddcedb9e">yaaay! -__-</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my stupid self updated my facebook relationship finally (ive been engaged since valentines) and my dads wife's son saw it. Because my stupid self didnt think about censoring it. Now. This is all well and good except that I was not ready to tell my father. His nickname is Vikiing for a reason! I live in this house with him, and announcing my recent engagement will result in lectures about how I cant live in the house when I get married and how I cant afford to get married will likely ensue. Nevermind being happy for his only child to be getting married, no, it will be a constant lecture about how money is more important that getting married to the man of my dreams. And you cant argue with him. Oh no Lord forbid you argue with him. So. I am sharing how stupid I am and how hellacious its about to get in my house in the next few days, so please by all means someone laugh at it because I need to find the humor in this!
    Posted by Katie Mar[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Well, assuming you and your future husband are planning to pay for your own wedding and move into your own place, you can tell your father that. ETA: And thus tell him to back off. I certainly hope those things are the case, for your sake. /ETA</div><div>
    </div><div>Any chance you can let him know before he sees it on facebook or hears it from his stepson? Because that's not the way a parent wants to learn about an engagement, trust me. (MIL found out her daughter was engaged after a church friend offered congratulations because she saw it on FB... MIL was not FB friends with her daughter at that time.)

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    erinlin25erinlin25 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    You told facebook before you told your Dad--and you live with him? How does he not know already?  If you are trying to hide it, facebook was not the way to do so; If you need to hide it, then you are not ready to be engaged or get married.
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    thejucheideathejucheidea member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yaaay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:34ac5389-237f-4b72-bdcf-10f097c32a69Post:164fdae8-17a0-4ec8-80f7-4b59af9d0adf">Re: yaaay! -__-</a>:
    [QUOTE]You told facebook before you told your Dad--and you live with him? How does he not know already?  If you are trying to hide it, facebook was not the way to do so; If you need to hide it, then you are not ready to be engaged or get married.
    Posted by erinlin25[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, this.

    My sister also announced her engagement via Facebook. My parents and I did not know, and I only found out because one of my friends called me and said 'did your sister get engaged??' and I looked on Facebook. Not cool at all. You deserve the fallout.

    Also, how have you kept it secret from your father if you live with him?

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    rel1988rel1988 member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yaaay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:34ac5389-237f-4b72-bdcf-10f097c32a69Post:164fdae8-17a0-4ec8-80f7-4b59af9d0adf">Re: yaaay! -__-</a>:
    [QUOTE]You told facebook before you told your Dad--and you live with him? How does he not know already?  If you are trying to hide it, facebook was not the way to do so; If you need to hide it, then you are not ready to be engaged or get married.
    Posted by erinlin25[/QUOTE]

    Exactly. The situation is just kind of weird....and why would you want to start a marriage you have to hide??
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yaaay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:34ac5389-237f-4b72-bdcf-10f097c32a69Post:164fdae8-17a0-4ec8-80f7-4b59af9d0adf">Re: yaaay! -__-</a>:
    [QUOTE]You told facebook before you told your Dad--and you live with him? How does he not know already?  If you are trying to hide it, facebook was not the way to do so; If you need to hide it, then you are not ready to be engaged or get married.
    Posted by erinlin25[/QUOTE]

    Me three.

    I think the Viking might be well within his rights to be pissed.
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    bunni727bunni727 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    You posted it on facebook before telling your dad? I can see where that could be really hurtful to a parent.


    Also, the fact that you are concerned about his lecturing over money is a tad unsettling. DO you know where you will live when you get married? How you will pay bills? How you will pay for the wedding itself?

    I wouldn't say money is more important than being married, but it is more urgent. There's no harm in waiting to marry when you are both financially independent; there's plenty of harm in getting married before you can afford it, fighting about money, going into debt, etc. 
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    CandCWedding2013CandCWedding2013 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    My friend J just did this yesterday. I checked facebook and found that she was engaged. I immediately called my best friend/her sister and asked her why she hadn't called me so we could celebrate! Turns out...my bff/her sister had no idea what the hell I was talking about. J had posted on facebook that she was engaged but has not yet told her family. Talk about hurt feelings. 

    I agree with everything above. Money is important, wedding's are not cheap and life is not cheap but he's your dad, unless you're 16 he should be happy for you. 


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    SummerGrl15SummerGrl15
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited March 2013
    @tarradesign - that picture literally made me LOL... I love it!

    ETA:  I would be pretty upset if I were your dad also.  I made sure I let all of the people close to me know that I got engaged before I even thought about posting it on FB.  I also didn't want anyone else to post something on FB about it until all of my VIP's knew...
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    Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I hate finding out news about people closest to me on FB, but what's done is done and now it's time to face the music. I understand it's exciting getting engaged, congratulations btw! Ultimately it's you and your fi's choice when you want to get married, I'm assuming you are both adults and not teenagers, so as adults this is your decision.

    What isn't right is expecting your parents to pick up the slack if you guys can't afford to support yourselves financially, or expect them to throw you a grandious wedding, but you didn't mention whether you can in your post or not, either way none of my business. I also don't believe that you necessarily have to have a high paying dream job either especially with the economy the way it is. I strongly believe that it's wrong for people to say that low income people can't get married. I would tell your dad, that all you would like is his blessing and the financial details, you and fi will work out on your own. If you have a financial plan, it may reassure him to tell him that, without having to tell him everything otherwise he may criticize it.

    Bottom line, I think he'd be upset and hurt that you didn't tell him first before notifying all your FB buddies and he's probubly just concerned that you may not have a plan and he may have to financially dip into his wallet to support you guys. You also haven't told him yet, so don't assume you know how he's going to react. He may surprise you and be overjoyed for you and your fi.
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    mcda04mcda04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yaaay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:34ac5389-237f-4b72-bdcf-10f097c32a69Post:665914a5-f804-444f-9281-6575ddcedb9e">yaaay! -__-</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my stupid self updated my facebook relationship finally (ive been engaged since valentines) and my dads wife's son saw it. Because my stupid self didnt think about censoring it. Now. This is all well and good except that I was not ready to tell my father. His nickname is Vikiing for a reason! I live in this house with him, and announcing my recent engagement will result in lectures about how I cant live in the house when I get married and how I cant afford to get married will likely ensue. Nevermind being happy for his only child to be getting married, no, it will be a constant lecture about how <strong>money is more important that getting married to the man of my dreams</strong>. And you cant argue with him. Oh no Lord forbid you argue with him. So. I am sharing how stupid I am and how hellacious its about to get in my house in the next few days, so please by all means someone laugh at it because I need to find the humor in this!
    Posted by Katie Mar[/QUOTE]

    Are you and your Fi not in a financially stable position? If so, then you're father's right, It's not that money's MORE important, they're two different things, love doesn't pay the bills.

    If you and your Fi have discussed finances, then you and your FI should tell your dad about the engagement and all his concerns have been discussed amongst the two of you. You're a grown woman,(presumably) why are you afraid to tell your father?
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    Katie MarKatie Mar
    First Comment

    Yes I have the means to support myself but I dont have the longevity at my job to qualify for an apartment yet, but money is being put away on it. As for the comments about not being ready to be engaged, I respect your opinion and exercise my right to say I think you are wrong. That being said, I did not tell him first because he can never ever just be happy for me, in any decisions I make with my life, and I am old enough to make my own decisions. As a child you strive for your parents acceptance and appreciation. With Viking it is hard to come by. He likes my FI, and I think eventually he would be happy. Initially I was trying to avoid an argument with Viking until it was suiteable to bring up this issue. Yes I was wrong in posting on FB before all of my family knew, I will admit to that. I was simply avoiding an unpleasent situation but, I am a grown woman and for all intents and purposes I should be able to say its my life I'll do what I want but unfourtunately there is no shortage on my fathers displeasure and opinions about said matters. It just makes life more difficult is all

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    Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Jobs are tricky, the way I see it, these days, "stability" in the job market is a very loose term. I'm sorry that your dad's not a very supportive person, I think maybe you should meet with him outside of the home like go out to dinner/coffee or something like that where it's mutual terratory and explain to him that you appreciate his concern, but ultimately when you get married is you decision and the only thing you need from him is his blessing and support. Explain that you have a plan and no matter what you and fi will do whatever it takes to make this marriage and the financial aspects of it work.

    I genuinely do hope all of this will work out for you! Good luck!
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yaaay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:34ac5389-237f-4b72-bdcf-10f097c32a69Post:392aa470-7a41-4960-a087-22a64753ce24">Re: yaaay! -__-</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes I have the means to support myself but I dont have the longevity at my job to qualify for an apartment yet, but money is being put away on it. As for the comments about not being ready to be engaged, I respect your opinion and exercise my right to say I think you are wrong. That being said, I did not tell him first because he can never ever just be happy for me, in any decisions I make with my life, and I am old enough to make my own decisions. As a child you strive for your parents acceptance and appreciation. With Viking it is hard to come by. He likes my FI, and I think eventually he would be happy. Initially I was trying to avoid an argument with Viking until it was suiteable to bring up this issue. Yes I was wrong in posting on FB before all of my family knew, I will admit to that. I was simply avoiding an unpleasent situation but, I am a grown woman and for all intents and purposes I should be able to say its my life I'll do what I want but unfourtunately there is no shortage on my fathers displeasure and opinions about said matters. It just makes life more difficult is all
    Posted by Katie Mar[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It's still more respectful to inform your own parents personally. They should not find out that kind of news first hand. I'm glad you apparently realize your mistake in failing to do that.

    </div>
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    Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    You and FI tell him together.  And apologize for the FB blab.  As a parent with an adult child on FB, I used to find out all sorts of important shite secondhand.  I finally unfriended him and his fiancée.
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    thejucheideathejucheidea member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_yaaay-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:34ac5389-237f-4b72-bdcf-10f097c32a69Post:392aa470-7a41-4960-a087-22a64753ce24">Re: yaaay! -__-</a>:
    [QUOTE] I was simply avoiding an unpleasent situation but, I am a grown woman and for all intents and purposes I should be able to say its my life I'll do what I want but unfourtunately there is no shortage on my fathers displeasure and opinions about said matters. It just makes life more difficult is all
    Posted by Katie Mar[/QUOTE]

    Why would you think that this wouldn't come back and bite you on the ass?

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