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Shower vs. Wedding Gift

Tabbie11Tabbie11
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in Registry and Gift Forum

First off, fiance was 100% against me starting ANY sort of registry (lived together for 5+ years & dont need much per say) and I don't love the idea of it, I just don't like the idea of 'asking' people to buy me things, but friends an family are getting pretty persistant on me growing the registry.
I love to cook so I created a small registry on Sur La Table with various kitchen stuff but I keep getting asked but "what about the shower?"... I am sure that there are plenty of wants I can find, but we are trying to save to buy a house so cash would be practical but obviously can't ask for it! But at the same time I definately don't want 10 toasters!

Do couples typically receive shower gifts plus a wedding gift? If so, then is is worth registering for more? From what I have seen people do tend to bring cash to weddings, I normally do at least, so I don't want to waste time registering it if its going to be pointless.

Sorry for the long post, but oui I'm torn and confused!

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Re: Shower vs. Wedding Gift

  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
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    We received shower and wedding gifts from some guests. Others who attended a shower of mine chose to give cash or a gift card at the wedding if they came.

    If you don't want to register, I would just decline the showers. You don't have to have a shower if you don't want one. Having said that, if there are lots of splurge items/upgrades that you can think of, go ahead and register for them. Pretty much every shower guest bought off our registry.


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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
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    edited July 2012
    Don't expect cash at a shower.  If you don't have enough boxed gifts that you want, decline the shower offer.  

    In my area, many people give a boxed gift for the shower and then cash at the wedding.  DH and I tend to give boxed gifts for both, and we'd be giving you a boxed gift of our choosing with a gift receipt if there was nothing on your registry for us to get.

    ETA: On the issue of being uncomfortable registering.  I really get that.  Your friends are asking you what you want, though--they want to give you something you will use and enjoy.  You're not broadcasting your registry, you're just giving people that really want to know a guide to things you'd appreciate.
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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
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    It depends on your area. Here showers and weddings are 2 separate events. You get boxed gifts for the shower and money for the wedding.
     
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  • sparkles776sparkles776 member
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    I agree, where I am from it is never one or the other, they are treated as 2 seperate events. I agree with the PPs though, you are most likely not going to get cash at a shower because the point of a shower is to shower the bride with gifts, it would be pretty boring for all your guests to watch you open envelopes. If you dont want a shower, dont have one. FWIW, I always bring a boxed gift to a shower and usually cash for the wedding.
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  • rlavachrlavach member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_shower-vs-wedding-gift-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:cb557441-10ae-4dc0-aa75-fd46da40f00bPost:9e7da595-a554-4e11-b06b-6dc6e5a53e20">Re: Shower vs. Wedding Gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]It depends on your area. Here showers and weddings are 2 separate events. You get boxed gifts for the shower and money for the wedding.
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]
    Yep, this.<div>
    </div><div>The few who couldn't make it to my shower, gave me a wedding gift & also a shower gift (gift card) at the wedding. </div>

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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    It's worth noting that most people will not give cash at a shower, since part of it is being able to open gifts and talk about them.
    For me, my really good friends and close family got me both shower and wedding presents, but 80% of the gift-givers just gave at one or the other.
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  • Tabbie11Tabbie11
    First Comment
    Thanks ladies! I will do a little more registering :)
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