Registry and Gift Forum

Bridal Shower Questions

Happy Friday Ladies!  I have a couple questions about bridal showers.  My friend offered to throw me a shower as soon as I got engaged.  Needless to say now the time has come to plan and throw the shower and she has made it known that she doesn't want to host one.  I had already emailed my bridesmaids asking for dates that they were available so they all think I am having a shower.  Do you have to have a bridal shower?  And who is supposed to throw it?

There is a part of me that would still like to have a shower but then there is a part of me that thinks maybe this is a sign I just shouldn't have one.  Love to know everyone's thoughts.

Thanks!
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Re: Bridal Shower Questions

  • You aren't required to have a bridal shower.  If no one volunteers to throw one for you then you just don't have one.  You can't ask people to host a shower for you.

    Although it's common for BMs to throw the bride a shower, it's not their job to do so.  Etiquette wise, anyone other than you or your mom (and some people say immediate family) can host a shower for you. 
  • No one has to throw one.  In some areas, it's traditional for the MOB to throw one.  In other places, that's considered rude and the BMs tend to do it.  In other cases, other relatives or friends of the couple will throw it.  Anyone besides the couple (and sometimes mothers) can if they offer to.  It's certainly not a requirement to get married.

    Since this friend has backed out, you probably won't get one.  If your BMs bring it up again, you can say "Oh, Jane decided she couldn't do it after all" and leave it at that.  They can decide if they want to step in and throw one or just let it lay.   
  • I agree with the above posts. 

    I would mention it to your maid of honor that your other friend doesn't want to throw one anymore for whatever reason. Surely they are going to ask when that shower is, and that is the perfect opportunity to tell her. I would hope that at that point your MOH and BM will step it up and throw one for you. Although it is not "required" that they throw you one, it is nice and most will want to do it for you, especially in your case where your shower is no more. 

    If you really want a shower and your bridesmaids don't throw you one, you could also mention it to a close cousin or other female family member about what happened and then they can get the family involved and they can decide if they want to throw you one. I would just make sure you don't "ask" for one. Simply talk to them about what happened as a friend.

    Since you really want one, I hope it works out for you! But as the others said, some people don't have one if people don't throw you one. Best of Luck
  • You aren't required to have a shower like previously said, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't plan your own.  Has anyone else noticed this trend??? There are girls on my fb announcing that they have picked out their shower location and are sending the INVITES for them.  Did I miss a new etiquette rules or something?? Baby showers too!!

    Sorry rant done.
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