Cousin stealing my ideas!

jessrayne10 · November 2009

In July I got engaged to an amazing guy...not even a month later my older cousin also got engaged. She orginally thought she would get married in a couple years, but then realized when I was getting married in 2010, she wanted to also. The date she set was exactly 3 months after mine. We were at Thanksgiving dinner yesterday and she would ask me what I was doing for the reception or what my colors were or my bridesmaid dresses and when I would tell her she would say that she would do that too! I had this cute idea of having an anniversary prayer said at the wedding because it's my parents 25th and my grandparents 50th next year and she heard about my idea and wants to do that too! I'm just so frustrated! I want my wedding to be unique and well, basically me. But here my cousin decides to copy almost everything that I'm doing and use it in her wedding! I don't know what to do. I'm just frustrated!

lyndausvi · November 2009

Stop telling her things. That is my only advice.

tidetravel · November 2009

#1 - you get one day, not a whole year. She's getting married 3 MONTHS after you. That's not something to be upset about.

#2 - if she's "copying" your ideas then STOP talking to her.

#3 - you can make your wedding personal by just being you. I guarantee you that EVERYTHING that you do will have been done by SOMEONE, at some point. Chill out.

aerinpegadrak · November 2009

Stop. Talking. To. Her.

There are only so many variations on wedding stuff that you can do. If you get obsessed with trying to do something that's never been done before, you'll drive yourself crazy. Thousands of people get married every day. It's been done before, that's fine.

And if you come up with an idea that's truly unique, keep it to your damn self.

pakarufus · November 2009

I had a similar problem, my FI's best friend got married 7 months before us and his bride copied a lot of our wedding (down to my wedding dress). Yes it is upsetting, but in the long run it will be OK. Your wedding is YOUR day. If she copies anything from yours, at least you did it first. Also, hopefully hers will be just different enough that they will end up complementing each other.

[Deleted User] · November 2009

Tell her you are having circus clowns as ushers and that you will make your entrance into the reception by walking on broken glass to prove that love can make pain go away. Then, if she copies you, at least it will be fun to watch.

anna.oskar · November 2009

Wow. She's gonna look like an idiot when 3 months AFTER your wedding her wedding looks just like yours.

Don't worry about it. If your wedding is first, it's a non-issue.

MyNameIsNot · November 2009

Stop talking to her about your wedding.

And get over the it's my year garbage. She's getting married 3 months after you. You do not have a monopoly on the entire season or year. Even mentioning that she got engaged right after you and is getting married 3 months after makes you look like a baby.

LarissaAnn · November 2009

You know, I was married March 28, 2009. On November 1, 2009, my H & I went to my cousin's wedding. After our wedding, my cousin contacted me about our officiant. I was flattered that she liked him so much that she wanted to use him, and I happily gave her his contact info. Oh, and he happens to be a friend of mine; a judge I worked with for a long time.

During the wedding ceremony, I was constantly alternating between giggling and crying - the judge liked the ceremony I compiled so much that he's basically adopted it as his mainstay ceremony! So a good 2/3 of my cousin's ceremony was precisely the same as mine! I was giggling at the similarity, couldn't help it (so was H), and crying at the memories of our own wedding because I'm sappy that way. In no way was I upset, insulted, or angry that a good portion of my wedding ceremony had been copied word-for-word to become my cousin's as well. And yeah, we had common family members at both weddings.

IT. IS. OK. Really.

duckie1905 · November 2009

First of all, you get a day. You don't get a week, a month, 3 months, or six months. She could have her wedding the day after yours and it wouldn't matter.

Second, stop telling her things about your wedding. I bet she stops stealing them.

bbyckes · November 2009

You have my permission to cut 'a biitch. Seriously, she'll look like asss, not you. Seriously, stop fretting and stop telling her things.

goheels05 · November 2009

Who cares? She's the one who's going to look like a tool, not you.

Do what Cew said--start telling her totally crazy things, maybe she'll get the hint and if not, at least you can point and laugh at her.

htwedding · November 2009

With the colors, is she planning on getting the same exact colors as you? Because if you like red maybe she won't pick the same color red. David's bridal has a lot of different variations with colors.

I agree with all of the other girls: I would stop telling her plans.

I am lucky that I don't really have to worry about anyone else copying me. No one is getting married around the same time or they are already married. Plus, most of our friends have had summer weddings and we are having a fall wedding so it's great the colors can be different.

jessrayne10 · November 2009

Okay, so I was a bit irrational yesterday when I typed that. I apologize for that. Thanks though to the girls who did give me some advice. I do like the idea of giving her funny ideas.

mrsamyjones · November 2009

you should really rethink the idea of being "unique" there are thousands of brides every year and the simple fact is that no one is ever going to be "unique" even the idea of personalizing things is generic and everybody does is so to worry about your cousin doing the same thing is rediculous. Calm down and realize that she wants a nice day just as much as you.

Sarahtobeengaged · November 2009

I would keep your ideas to yourself. I made the mistake of telling a friend of mine my future childrens name and she went ahead and had kids before me, and named her kids those names I had chosen.

I won't be using them. As much as I wanted to yell and scream at how hurt I was at her using the names I had chosen. I couldn't I thought maybe it was a compliment because she really liked what I had chosen and I felt good about it after all. Maybe your cousin is feeling the same she doesn't have a lot of ideas of her own, or she looks up to you, and because your both newly engaged, she might think of this as something you cn share not a competiiton. Try and have fun and not let it get you upset.

Good luck!!

jeannigirl · November 2009

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I agree with this. I also want to say stop talking to her about your details.

She may just not know where to start and just saying that may begin to create some ideas and details of her own,

My FI's friends or more like family member had her wedding the very same day/month has I had chosen. It irritated me at first but its not my day to claim. Thats when it worked for them. I will probably change it just for the fact that I don't want to celebrate our anniversaries at the same time.

lilcassers · November 2009

hahahaha CEW you are hilarous. Yea obviously she is someone who is scared to do different things. If she asks you what you are doing on other things just tell her you haven't decided yet.

Cousin stealing my ideas!

Re: Cousin stealing my ideas!

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