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Making things Right in the Catholic Church

HgolightlykcHgolightlykc
First Comment
in Second Weddings
My husband and I were married in April in a Baptist ceremony, by his cousin who is a Reverand.  It was fabulous- but it is important to me to make things right with the Catholic Church.  I have talked with the Church and we are able to do a ceremony during the week after daily mass at the Cathedral (or if we want to, we can rent the Cathedral for $1500 for a regular wedding ceremony).  What are your thoughts on what to do?  I mean, do I wear my wedding dress?  Do we invite people?  Do we have some sort of party?  It is important, and a big deal, but I am not sure what is socially appropriate in this situation.  Thanks for your help!
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Re: Making things Right in the Catholic Church

  • geordieboysgirlgeordieboysgirl
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    As far as everyone else is concerned you are married. It will be a ceremony after daily mass, which is generally early in the morning, right? I would say if it is that important to you, go ahead, but don't ask everyone else to understand that you don't think the first wedding was enough, especially not his family. I am a reformed Catholic and I don't. Actually, if I was his cousin I would be pretty insulted.

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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree.  You are already married, but if you choose to wear your dress, that's up to you. 

    We had a similar thing, although entirely different religion.  We're Pagan.  So, we had our religious ceremony of a full-on Pagan handfasting, which DH still considers our "wedding."   However, here in the bible belt, that ceremony wasn't considered legal.  So we did another ceremony to make it all legal.  Our Pagan friends and family would never have considered the legal one our wedding.  Our  other friends and family wouldn't have considered the first one our wedding. 

    And, to top it all off, we've got one more ceremony to go.  LOL! 

    So, end result: we kept both ceremonies private, no guests, no attendants. 
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm Catholic, and never married. My fiance has been married twice before, and he is not Catholic. I really wanted to have a Catholic Church wedding, however, I've lapsed quite a bit and in the end, for ME, it was not all that important. So we are having a ceremony in an historic non-demoninational chapel, but with a Catholic Deacon. It's not really recognized by the Church as a marriage, but I'm ok with this.

    You have to do what's important to your faith, which I agree with wholeheartedly. If it were me having the second ceremony, I'd be wearing a nice dress or suit, whether white or not, and invite the family members who are Catholic, and who would see this as important, and no one else. I'd save the $1500 for something else. Because you will have a lovely ceremony venue, you might want to have some formal pictures taken so maybe get a photographer for a couple of hundred dollars. Your husband can wear a nice suit. You could get a small bouquet.

    I'm happy for you that you were able to find a Cathedral willing to do this for you. 

    Good luck.  
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  • HgolightlykcHgolightlykc
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks friends- I appreciate your help and perspective (I think my friends are just trying to tell me what they think I want to hear).  I'm thinking we will go wtih the daily mass thing.  I might wear my dress, but it is a knee length ivory sundress type thing and I will probably just wear a sweater over it or something (super casual).  Not exactly sure on the other details, but thinking it will be a small and classy kinda thing (maybe we buy dinner for our parents and close friends or something).
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