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Moving in?

Yankees413Yankees413
First Comment
in Students
I know married couples are supposed to be financially independent and in their own apartment. His aunt and my mom need people to rent rooms to. Is it wrong to move in there if we pay rent and pay our bills (no special breaks)? what is your definition of financially independent?

My plan is to move there until I got accepted to medical school and move with my then-husband on an apartment off campus.
Any ideas?
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Re: Moving in?

  • Annas2013Annas2013 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I mean if you're paying rent and bills, then you are financially independent.  Honestly though, I would not do that unless it is the cheapest option.  Granted, this is coming from someone who is ready to move out of my parents' house.  It's not a horrible option to be completely honest, but you would have to understand that in living with family, they may still try to control certain aspects of your life.  At least that's what mine would do.  Yours may be different.  You have to do what's best for you and your FI financially.  Sit down and talk with him and your family members to see what would be the most affordable option for y'all.  And what would make you happy.
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  • Yankees413Yankees413
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-in-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:352a5933-8c87-4815-88f0-8543d5fdbc49Post:d5b7cbde-4dad-4b26-8a39-52991993bc05">Re: Moving in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I mean if you're paying rent and bills, then you are financially independent.  Honestly though, I would not do that unless it is the cheapest option.  Granted, this is coming from someone who is ready to move out of my parents' house.  It's not a horrible option to be completely honest, but you would have to understand that in living with family, they may still try to control certain aspects of your life.  At least that's what mine would do.  Yours may be different.  You have to do what's best for you and your FI financially.  Sit down and talk with him and your family members to see what would be the most affordable option for y'all.  And what would make you happy.
    Posted by Annas2013[/QUOTE]

    <div>It would be. We have a choice of a room at his aunt's or hopefully an apartment (finished basement with side seperate enterance) luckily. I don't want to tied up with leases and such since i wouldn't know when I was leaving for medical school. It would make the most fisical sense. We have a way off but I am a planner sorry lol.  My FI moved out of his mom's house when he was 18 and lives with his aunts/cousins now (I write this from there now). But he pays rent and even helps out around the house. I basically live here and I don't feel that the atmosphere (I guess you would call it) would hurt us at all. </div><div>Thanks for the advice. I have seen your posts on the pages a lot and go give great advice.</div>
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  • Annas2013Annas2013 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Oh don't worry, there's nothing wrong with planning ahead.  I'm doing the same especially since my FI and I won't know where he's going to PA school until next Spring, so we won't have a ton of time to find a place between finding that out and getting married.  The lease thing makes really good sense and if you think the atmosphere would be fine, then go for it.  I think the apartment would be cool though.  You're welcome, and good luck with everything!
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  • becky659becky659 member
    First Comment
    Do whatever makes you guys (and your family) happy and what is best for you financially.  There aren't any real rules for being married, but being financially independent is totally preferable to me.  Basically, my definition of being "ready" to be married is when you don't have to rely on anybody for support; aka, you COULD find and rent your own apartment if you had to.
    My FI and I live in an in-law suite on my parent's farm.  We thought it would be a free, temporary situation until my FI and I got done with grad school, but we're all enjoying it so much that we're thinking about buying a big piece of land with our parents and building three small houses on it- one for us, one for my grandparents, and one for my parents- along with a place where we can have a "community" garden and meet to have cookouts :)
    So if you feel that you'd be happy there, even for sort term, go for it! It might turn out to be more of a blessing than you'd expect, and if it isn't, you can always (respectfully) move out.
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  • Yankees413Yankees413
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-in-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:352a5933-8c87-4815-88f0-8543d5fdbc49Post:c4d8de06-a1e6-4d9b-8ab8-14973f5ac370">Re: Moving in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do whatever makes you guys (and your family) happy and what is best for you financially.  There aren't any real rules for being married, but being financially independent is totally preferable to me.  Basically, my definition of being "ready" to be married is when you don't have to rely on anybody for support; aka, you COULD find and rent your own apartment if you had to. My FI and I live in an in-law suite on my parent's farm.  We thought it would be a free, temporary situation until my FI and I got done with grad school, but we're all enjoying it so much that we're thinking about buying a big piece of land with our parents and building three small houses on it- one for us, one for my grandparents, and one for my parents- along with a place where we can have a "community" garden and meet to have cookouts :) So if you feel that you'd be happy there, even for sort term, go for it! It might turn out to be more of a blessing than you'd expect, and if it isn't, you can always (respectfully) move out.
    Posted by becky659[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thank you for the advice :) Good luck on the 3 houses plan. It sounds amazing!</div>
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  • ChristineNBChristineNB
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-in-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:352a5933-8c87-4815-88f0-8543d5fdbc49Post:2390d1a1-1cea-4260-a2c2-b01121f403b8">Re: Moving in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Moving in? : It would be. We have a choice of a room at his aunt's or hopefully an apartment (finished basement with side seperate enterance) luckily. I don't want to tied up with leases and such since i wouldn't know when I was leaving for medical school. It would make the most fisical sense. We have a way off but I am a planner sorry lol.  My FI moved out of his mom's house when he was 18 and lives with his aunts/cousins now (I write this from there now). But he pays rent and even helps out around the house. I basically live here and I don't feel that the atmosphere (I guess you would call it) would hurt us at all.  Thanks for the advice. I have seen your posts on the pages a lot and go give great advice.
    Posted by Yankees413[/QUOTE]
    You've already said you don't even have your undergrad yet, so they earliest you would be able to start med school (assuming you were accepted) wouldn't be for 4 years.  I don't see what the problem is with "being tied up with leases" for right now.  But perhaps you were referring to moving in some time in the future??
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  • Yankees413Yankees413
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-in-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:352a5933-8c87-4815-88f0-8543d5fdbc49Post:8815c335-4199-4936-822e-9ba7657e4ab2">Re: Moving in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Moving in? : You've already said you don't even have your undergrad yet, so they earliest you would be able to start med school (assuming you were accepted) wouldn't be for 4 years.  I don't see what the problem is with "being tied up with leases" for right now.  But perhaps you were referring to moving in some time in the future??
    Posted by ChristineNB[/QUOTE]

    <div>Sorry if I was unclear. I would be on campus in a dorm the 4 years. (well not all 4 years, he may transfer with me and we may live on offcampus apartment housing the scholl offers so we can get a taste of living together but that will be in 2 or 3 years).</div>
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  • ChristineNBChristineNB
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-in-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:352a5933-8c87-4815-88f0-8543d5fdbc49Post:13907c07-b72c-4aba-8ae0-00e3b4932e66">Re: Moving in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Moving in? : Sorry if I was unclear. I would be on campus in a dorm the 4 years. (well not all 4 years, he may transfer with me and we may live on offcampus apartment housing the scholl offers so we can get a taste of living together but that will be in 2 or 3 years).
    Posted by Yankees413[/QUOTE]
    Oh ok.  Well then if this is going to be in 2-3 years I would figure out then what you and your fiance can afford to pay on housing and I would look at apartments besides your relatives.  If you can't find anything cheaper/nicer/more convienent, then I would go for living with family.
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  • Yankees413Yankees413
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-in-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:352a5933-8c87-4815-88f0-8543d5fdbc49Post:656ac4e9-f43e-41ba-919a-55423bdaebdc">Re: Moving in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Moving in? : Oh ok.  Well then if this is going to be in 2-3 years I would figure out then what you and your fiance can afford to pay on housing and I would look at apartments besides your relatives.  If you can't find anything cheaper/nicer/more convienent, then I would go for living with family.
    Posted by ChristineNB[/QUOTE]

    <div>I would rather stay here cause its cheaper and I enjoy it. I want to save money for med school since they only have loans. </div>
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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-in-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:352a5933-8c87-4815-88f0-8543d5fdbc49Post:e9d971af-0114-4c20-8ed4-4ef07e8f0182">Re: Moving in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Moving in? : I would rather stay here cause its cheaper and I enjoy it. I want to save money for med school since <strong>they only have loans. </strong>
    Posted by Yankees413[/QUOTE]

    <div>What does this mean?  You seem to be confused about med school, and maybe it's because you are young (I don't think your post had your actual age).  There are merit-based scholarships offered by some medical schools, and other ways to earn money for med school that don't require loans.</div><div>
    </div><div>I think that you should worry about campus housing when the time comes--you'll likely be applying to schools in the double digits, that each have different housing options available.  Make the best decision for housing for you NOW and don't worry so much about something that is years down the road.</div>
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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_moving-in-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:352a5933-8c87-4815-88f0-8543d5fdbc49Post:e9d971af-0114-4c20-8ed4-4ef07e8f0182">Re: Moving in?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Moving in? : I would rather stay here cause its cheaper and I enjoy it. I want to save money for med school since <strong>they only have loans. </strong>
    Posted by Yankees413[/QUOTE]

    <div>What does this mean?  You seem to be confused about med school, and maybe it's because you are young (I don't think your post had your actual age).  There are merit-based scholarships offered by some medical schools, and other ways to earn money for med school that don't require loans.</div><div>
    </div><div>I think that you should worry about campus housing when the time comes--you'll likely be applying to schools in the double digits, that each have different housing options available.  Make the best decision for housing for you NOW and don't worry so much about something that is years down the road.</div>
    Report Reply
  • StarquegStarqueg
    First Comment
    We've been renting my FI's parent's basement for the last three years.  We're planning to move out in December, since coming home from our wedding to their basement really doesn't sound at all romantic.  They gave us a lower rent than anyone else in the area would have offered, and feed us most Friday nights.  Otherwise, they basically leave us alone.  If it works for you, that's great. 
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