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Addressing RSVP envelopes

Mark&StephMark&Steph
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So, my parents are "hosting" the wedding, in the sense that they are funding most of the event, and the invitations say, "Mr. and Mrs. MyDad request the pleasure of your company...". So they are hosting, but FI and I are doing the bulk of the planning and details, which is fine.

Should I address the RSVP envelopes to come to our (FI & my) house? Or is it more appropriate to address them to the same place the invitations come from? (Return address on outer envelopes will be my parents' place.) Logistically, he and I will be keeping track of responses.

Edited to add: We live in the same town as my parents, so it's not like it would be a great ordeal to get the returned RSVPs from my mom once a week or so.
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Re: Addressing RSVP envelopes

  • LeiselEBLeiselEB member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Technically they should go to your parents as hosts. If you really really want them to come to you, that's probably fine, though :) I doubt too many people will compare addresses.
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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Unless you have a really old-school crowd that you think would care, I'd just send them to you if that's where they'll end up anyway.
    Lizzie
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  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    We had the return address be my parents' house, but the RSVPs were sent to H's apartment.
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  • MattsPenguinMattsPenguin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    My parents were hosting, although I was doing the bulk of the planning and putting in 50%.

    However we're pretty old school.  So we had the return address be my mom's house, and the RSVP's went there as well.  She lived 1.5 hours away, so I couldn't get the RSVP's right away.  My stepdad helped to keep track of the RSVP's on a spreadsheet that I had made and we shared it over Dropbox (www.dropbox.com).
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  • Mark&StephMark&Steph
    First Comment
    Thanks for the feedback! Here's Part 2 of this question:

    For the send-it-to-us option... does it matter what the first line reads on the address for the RSVPs?

    "MyName & HisName"?

    "MyName
    HisName"

    "MyLastName - HisLastName Wedding"

    And if they go to my parents, would it say...
    "Mr. and Mrs. Dad", or
    "MyLastName - HisLastName Wedding", or something else?

    Sorry if it seems nitpicky, but I'm pretty detail-oriented so I don't want to order envelopes carelessly!
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  • NicoleSaharaNicoleSahara
    First Anniversary First Comment
    H and I didn't live together before we were married, I had the RSVPs come back to just my name, my address, even though my parents were "hosting" like yours are.
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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-rsvp-envelopes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:34b457b1-c739-46ba-be6d-a6b7232aabf9Post:5c16ccde-b77d-4bb9-8f33-71bb928a258b">Re: Addressing RSVP envelopes</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the feedback! Here's Part 2 of this question: For the send-it-to-us option... does it matter what the first line reads on the address for the RSVPs? "MyName & HisName"? "MyName HisName" "MyLastName - HisLastName Wedding" And if they go to my parents, would it say... "Mr. and Mrs. Dad", or "MyLastName - HisLastName Wedding", or something else? Sorry if it seems nitpicky, but I'm pretty detail-oriented so I don't want to order envelopes carelessly!
    Posted by Mark&Steph[/QUOTE]

    I've seen nothing but the address a lot. We're doing a dot between our last names on the same line.
    Lizzie
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  • MattsPenguinMattsPenguin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    If it's going to your parents, I'd have it read your parents' names.

    If it's going to you, it could either say your full name or yourlastname & hislastname Wedding.

    I'd put some sort of name on it for the person who lives at that address.  It might help the post office in case of a mixup.
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  • NicoleSaharaNicoleSahara
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Oh, and also I have received quite a few RSVPs that had Smith/Jones wedding for the name on the return address.
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  • pattib5pattib5 member
    First Comment
    Are you going to change your last name after you're married? On the return addresses, we put "The Future Mr & Mrs HisLastName".
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    We sent our RSVPs to my parents only because when they would be returned my H and I were in the middle of moving so to keep everything organized (and to keep my sanity) my parents house was the easiest.  My Mom would just call me each day and read off who RSVPd.

    If the RSVP would go to your parents then Mr. and Mrs. Dad Lastname

    If the RSVP would go to you then...Ms. Jane Doe or Ms. Lastname and Mr. Lastname

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  • mrsrichard33mrsrichard33
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-rsvp-envelopes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:34b457b1-c739-46ba-be6d-a6b7232aabf9Post:4cc93cb3-ad32-4290-9459-67bdb4955c95">Re: Addressing RSVP envelopes</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>H and I didn't live together before we were married,</strong> I had the RSVPs come back to just my name, my address, even though my parents were "hosting" like yours are.
    Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]

    Man I do not know how people do this!  

    Kudos!
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    We did "MyLast & HisLast Wedding" for the RSVP cards and had them sent to us, even though my parents were hosting.  We entered the RSVP info into a google docs spreadsheet that we shared with my parents.  
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  • hoffsehoffse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    They really should go back to your parents.  You can either pick them up from them or do a google doc or something to let them track RSVPs.

    If they're hosting, the only thing that should go to guests with your address on it are thank you notes and at home cards if you're doing those.
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  • Mark&StephMark&Steph
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_addressing-rsvp-envelopes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:34b457b1-c739-46ba-be6d-a6b7232aabf9Post:dd86602a-47d0-42b2-bc14-50909ac7138d">Re: Addressing RSVP envelopes</a>:
    [QUOTE]They really should go back to your parents.  You can either pick them up from them or do a google doc or something to let them track RSVPs. If they're hosting, the only thing that should go to guests with your address on it are thank you notes and at home cards if you're doing those.
    Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]
    This was my gut feeling on it too. It just seems more consistent and appropriate for responses to go to the hosts.

    Thanks ladies!
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