Catholic Weddings

NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry)

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Re: NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry)

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OOT, I have about 10 messages from different people about you.

    I am stating church teaching. This isn't about "catholics being so rigid". This is about what the church teaches. I will not ever mistate or water it down ever. What I stated was how the catechism reads. People have been martyred for the sake of the mass and belief in the Eucharist...this isn't about rigidity, this about lukewarmness, which is cautioned about in Scripture. Yet, I have not made one comment about the state of someone's soul, nor mine in comparison.

    This is not in any way about me having an attitude of "above it all". Ever. I've never ever ever said that I was, nor even implied it. Do not accuse me of that.
  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We've had this conversation about Agape's tone (not the content, but the way it's presented) about 20 million times, and we're not having it again here, because it goes nowhere.  There are posters who like it and others who feel it's demeaning and are turned off by it.  But the bottom line is only we as individuals can control what we say on this message board, and we all should keep in mind how something might come across to someone else before we post.  No one is of higher power than anyone else around here (Riss and myself included - we're just here for when the sh!t hits the fan), and 99% of the time, I'm posting in discussions as a poster, not a moderator.  So, let's all work on putting ourselves in someone else's shoes before we click the "Add Post" button.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-choosing-parish-question-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:c23c7010-490a-4126-9c55-57bb0837c95cPost:241de8ca-10b1-4eed-8ae1-984f43b98ee6">Re: NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]We've had this conversation about Agape's tone (not the content, but the way it's presented) about 20 million times, and we're not having it again here, because it goes nowhere.  There are posters who like it and others who feel it's demeaning and are turned off by it.  But the bottom line is only we as individuals can control what we say on this message board, and we all should keep in mind how something might come across to someone else before we post.  No one is of higher power than anyone else around here (Riss and myself included - we're just here for when the sh!t hits the fan), and 99% of the time, I'm posting in discussions as a poster, not a moderator.  So, let's all work on putting ourselves in someone else's shoes before we click the "Add Post" button.
    Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

    Okay, Docta.  I know you and Riss have better things to do than trying to teach good manners here.   I'll refrain from further comment on this subject.
  • caitriona87caitriona87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/10198d.htm


    The spiritual works of mercy are:

     I feel like whatever commentary I make on this will sound snarky, so I'll just leave it at this.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Regardless of which church you decide on, if you really liked the priest at parish  #1, you can still have him marry you.  The power of google will help you find out where he is now.  And if it's not too far, you can still ask him to perform your cermony at whichever church you decide.

    My FI and I started attending the church we will be married in, but we are being married by a priest in his old parish, which had closed.  I was able to find the priest by searching the diocese's website.  Usually when priests are moved, it's within their current diocese.  If you find him, call him up and see if he will still marry you.
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-choosing-parish-question-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:c23c7010-490a-4126-9c55-57bb0837c95cPost:6cf249b1-98b9-4f17-9ed1-0550d14e8ea6">Re: NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]<a href="http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/10198d.htm" rel='nofollow'>http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/10198d.htm</a> The spiritual works of mercy are: To instruct the ignorant ; To counsel the doubtful ; To admonish sinners ; To bear wrongs patiently; To forgive offences willingly; To comfort the afflicted; To pray for the living and the dead .  I feel like whatever commentary I make on this will sound snarky, so I'll just leave it at this.
    Posted by caitriona87[/QUOTE]



    Thanks, cait, I don't take this as snarky or judgmental at all
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-choosing-parish-question-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:c23c7010-490a-4126-9c55-57bb0837c95cPost:72fc3591-ce99-4412-92df-f79dd990fa90">Re: NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]OOT, I have about 10 messages from different people about you. I am stating church teaching. This isn't about "catholics being so rigid". This is about what the church teaches. I will not ever mistate or water it down ever. What I stated was how the catechism reads. People have been martyred for the sake of the mass and belief in the Eucharist...this isn't about rigidity, this about lukewarmness, which is cautioned about in Scripture. Yet, I have not made one comment about the state of someone's soul, nor mine in comparison. This is not in any way about me having an attitude of "above it all". Ever. I've never ever ever said that I was, nor even implied it. Do not accuse me of that.
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]


    Other than Calypso?

    Perhaps we should just post our PMs (with identity omitted)

    Sounds fair to me
  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-choosing-parish-question-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:c23c7010-490a-4126-9c55-57bb0837c95cPost:bf21fb1b-4fe8-47ce-bc86-e45d0ad62060">Re: NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry) : Other than Calypso? Perhaps we should just post our PMs (with identity omitted) Sounds fair to me
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]

    I know curiousity about what goes on off-board can get the best of us, but please don't post PMs, even with identity omitted.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Waiting to meet the baby broccoli on 5/5/2013!
  • Riss91Riss91 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_nwr-choosing-parish-question-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:c23c7010-490a-4126-9c55-57bb0837c95cPost:67b8f12f-f41e-4224-ac0d-cc4adc5788ca">Re: NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: NWR: Choosing a parish question (long, sorry) : I know curiousity about what goes on off-board can get the best of us, but please don't post PMs, even with identity omitted.
    Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

    Yes! Please don't do that. I've received comments about both OOT and agape as well. I truly feel like agape has been trying to give information without sounding harsh. I just think that everyone is so used to her tone, that when they read her posts, they're projecting it onto her.  If she's said it a million times, can't we give her the benefit of the doubt? Can't we forgive for the past posts and try to see the good in what she is doing, rather that only pay attention to a tone that we think is implied?
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Okay, I won't post PMs.  Personal messges, I guess should stay just that, personal and not to be shared on the boards
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Kind of on what Riss said....apparently, since she thought it was from a priest, it was fine, but docta accused me of lecturing because she thought it was from me. 

    It reads like the catechism would. I'm sharing my love for the Eucharist and get accused of lecturing.

    And yes, OOT, as I said, MANY different people.


  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    @ Olive oils mom

    Thanks for the suggestion.  If I commit to parish #3, I'll use the priest there, but if I don't, and still marry there, I have to bring my own priest, so I might follow your advice and ask our old one.

    Thanks again to everyone else's advice on here.  I think we're going to continue to go to church #3 for a while to make sure that it's where we really want to commit to before we jump into something.

    And sorry again for helping derail this thread. 

    SaveSave
  • mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think if finding a fitting parish (and priest) will increase how happily and willingly you attend church, shop away!  H and I both parish shopped before we were married, and that's how we found the place were we married (sadly, not the most aesthetically pleasing place for a wedding, but whatever).  It's not always easy taking time out of busy schedules to attend Mass, but having a wonderful lecturer and church community helped.  Now that we've moved again, we're shopping again.

    I confess that I rarely lurk here and post even less frequently because I've been turned off by the tone of voice of agape.  From a spiritual/beliefs/practices standpoint, we're not far apart, but your delivery sometimes makes we wish that we were.  I feel like this board is split, like debates feel like miniature wars, and it's not a "fun" way of spending time on the internet.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    All you had to ask is if Calypso and I knew if not fulfilling our obligation was a mortal sin as opposed to typing whole paragraphs. 

    agape, im sure you typed the paragraphs for the benefit of the lurkers, because seriously, did you really think that I didnt know it was a mortal sin to miss mass?  in fact, my post mentioning guilt over not fulfilling my sunday obligation should have made it clear that i am aware.  if it wasnt a sin, i wouldnt have guilt, right? 

    i do think that you should feel good after leaving mass.  you should leave with words adn thoughts to help keep you on course with the faith and to help you question during hte week things that dont seem right.  sure, communion does give you graces to help you with those things, but often its thought provoking things that the priest says that makes it clearer. 
  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Calypso, no I did not think you didn't know. (rephrased, I knew you knew)

    Again, I was sharing my love for the Eucharist. Even though I knew it was a serious sin to miss mass, it wasn't until I heard the above explanation, about the puzzle, etc that I really understood that my absence meant a detriment to others as well. That was the motivation I needed to never miss mass again. It was such an amazing a ha moment for me that I shared it.

    You all want to take it so personally, fine. But again, it read like the catechism. We can substitute missing mass for something a bit more obvious like murder where no one is guilty of that (hope not), and no one would feel "lectured".
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    im not offended, nor did i take it personal, although i did think it read as if directed at me, but felt certain you probably did it for the masses.
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