October 2012 Weddings

MOH bought dress without telling me

Its more of a vent then anything else but here is kinda the situation: 
So originally when I ordered my dress we saw a dress for my MOH to wear but since we had time and it was on the higher side of the budget we figure we wait and see if we could find something else. Well I had already decided if we went with that dress I would buy it for her but then my FI couldnt make a decision on a best man so he asked two people and said I needed to add someone to the bridal party. I always wanted my friend from college to be a bridesmaid but i was trying to keep the count down so i didnt ask at first but once we added a second on FI side I added my bridesmaid. Well since I added her, I told my MOH the original dress might be out since I wanted something similar/the same dress for both her and the bridesmaid. About two weeks ago I found a dress I wanted them to wear but my MOH went off the grid (part of the reason why I was just going to pay for her dress since I know money is tight) and I finally hear from her Tuesday where she tells me she already bought a dress, one I havent seen and probably doesnt match with the dress my bridesmaid is going to wear (sent her the dress link so she is ordering that dress I picked). 
I really dont know how to feel about it. I wanted a dress that was affordable, and originally when it was just my MOH as long as she was comfortable I didnt really care as long as it was black and matched the theme (red, black and white) but now that there is a bridesmaid to match they will look completely different. Im pretty laid back but its kinda upseting me that she just decided on a dress without saying anything to me and its a discontiued dress (she got it at the thrift store) so I cant even get my bridesmaid to get the dress. Plus I originally wanted just a simple black dress, my MOH said the dress is black with white at the top with a little "pizzaz". 
She did say she would order the other dress when she has the funds if thats really what I want... 
Im just not sure what to do about the situation. I guess them having different dresses would be ok since one is the MOH and the other is the bridesmaid, but will it really look good?
Or should I just order the dress I picked out for her?
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Re: MOH bought dress without telling me

  • I can understand being miffed that she didn't tell you, but now that the dress is bought, I would let it be. Well, first I'd ask to see the dress, make sure it isn't heinous, then I'd let it be. My priority with my wedding party is that they are comfortable with what they're wearing and feel beautiful in it. To hell with uniformity! Honestly, I don't think anyone will much care whether they match or not. It'll just be a quick 'oh, they look nice' before they go back to oohing and aahing over you, the bride! _
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  • Your guests might not care, but when you look back at pictures are you going to wish you'd been more assertive and made your MOH get the dress you wanted her to have? I'd say that if you're going to look back in 5 years and wish she would have worn a different dress, then you should try to help cover the cost of the dress you want. If you're going to look back and not care what she wore and just be glad she was in the wedding, then let her wear the dress she bought. I have my superficial moments amd honestly it would bother me.
  • I think you're worrying too much about even sides. Just because your FI added someone, it doesn't mean you needed to. But anyway, I think it'll be fine in the end. If the dresses don't match, it certainly won't ruin your wedding day.
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  • I would buy her the other dress, she has already bought one and her dress having white and pizzaz is somethign you will prob regret in your pictures.
  • I wasnt concerned about it matching but FI refused to choose his best man unless I made it even. 
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