One of my BMs is a friend from high school. We were attached to the hip and though we had our ups and definate downs, we still managed to reconnect years later (after she relocated) and be friends. It was easy to talk to her again and it seemed her life had become more predictable or stable due to having a child (she's a single parent) and less fly by the seat of her pants. She lives nearly half of the country away from me so she cant be involved in all of the wedding activities, but either can my other BMs because of me living in another state from them. But it all works out--- we manage.
So my MOH (my sister) has been in regular contact with my BMs giving them hotel info, all dress info, etc... 7-8 months in advance. My wedding is now in 2 months and by this time all of them should have ordered their dress, booked hotel stay and booked flight if needed. BM#1 ordered hers and is totally on board! However, BM#2 (my high school friend) said she had ordered her dress a few months back when we chatted by phone. But when my MOH went to order her own dress (by the deadline she was given by the dress shop staff), MOH found out that the deadline was past! MOH also found out that BM#2 had NOT ordered her dress, so she had lied to me. The funny thing is that when she told me she had ordered it, she offered this information--- I didnt ask for it myself, nor did I pressure her as we had a few months still. So my MOH calls BM#2 to ask if she did order it and she says she has not. The deadline already passed for ordering the dress and for some reason, not only did she lie about ordering it, she never got around to it during the last 7 months. If my MOH didnt happen to go into the dress shop that day, my BM#2 would have never known that the deadline passed and who knows when she would have found out had we not found out for her. My MOH tried to ask if there is any reason why she hasnt ordered it and BM#2 acted like it wasnt any of my MOHs concern.
My MOH worked something out with the manager at the dress shop and she ordered BM#2's dress but my MOH had to pay for it because though BM#2 said the day before she could buy it, I guess she couldnt. Even though my MOH had fronted the money for the dress, she never thanked her and I guess she didnt seem as concerned about missing the order deadline as she should have been.
She has not planned her hotel stay, flight, etc and the wedding is only 2 months away. When my MOH asked her about this, she implied it will all work out, dont worry, its none of her concern. She even wouldnt tell my MOH when she could pay her back for the dress or when to expect to see the check but only that she will send her the check. I have been sooo easy going and understanding throughout this situation thus far. I had chosen cheap dresses for them, cheap shoes etc, I have thanked them for their involvement etc. I had let them know that there would be expenses and that if they couldnt swing this that it was okay to decline my invitation for them to be in my wedding party. BM#2 will not say if anything is wrong and I am careful to not ask anything she might feel is accusational or personal as she reacted that way towards my MOH. She hasnt reached out to me in the last 2 months. She now is planning to drive 6 states to my wedding instead of flying due to last minute flights being expensive. I am obviously worried about this too. What if she doesnt make it? If she doesnt have the money for her dress then how can she afford to get here or her hotel stay? It seems to be up front with her will only make her be defensive and she seems to not want to talk about anything she finds to be "personal" like finances and how she is doing things to be at the wedding etc. So what is your advice to me? I need it! Whats going on?!! More importantly what should I do?