Christian Weddings

No dancing dilemma.

Hi,

My fiance and I are having a small afternoon luncheon in the summer as our wedding reception. Both of us are baptists and are not allowing dancing at our wedding, because of this we are finding it difficult to find activities for our guests. We are opening a candy station as our favours, but still need some ideas to keep our guests happy. Any suggestions?

Thanks!

Re: No dancing dilemma.

  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know some people like doing photobooths, but they can be pricey.

    You don't need dancing at a wedding, but it does give a very different dynamic for a reception. I wouldn't expect a very long reception without that, and the weddings I've been to without dancing had a couple speeches, a good meal, just two games and a slideshow. Other than that, it was solely socialization which I enjoyed. But it was a short reception too, in the afternoon.
  • edited December 2011
    We also aren't allowed to have dancing at our wedding. (getting married in a Baptist church). We're having a cake only reception (and possibly candy buffet) and using the cake reception to greet everyone.

    Maybe you could have a slide show playing during the reception to give your guests something to watch while they are eating. Also if you make it a point to greet your guests they won't feel quite so bored.
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  • edited December 2011
    I am bapist as well and we are doing a finger food/ cake reception since the ceremony is at 2. There won't be any dancing for our wedding either. I have been playing around with the idea of bridal mad libs to put on the table for guests to do and a place for them to put them after they have written in them. Other than that I'm just doing the traditonal speeches, cake cutting and tosses. I have been to no dance receptions before and even with no activity, they are still plenty fun provided you know a few others going to the wedding.
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  • edited December 2011
    Wow, I am not only Baptist, but having the ceremony AND reception in the SANCTUARY of my Baptist church, and I am having dancing.  Seriously.  DJ and all.
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  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    We couldn't have dancing in my Baptist church, either, so we're having the reception at a hotel.  However, the last 3 weddings I've been to have been at my church, and have not had any dancing at all.  The receptions were very short, (about an hour and a half after pictures) with just appetizers, cake & punch, they had some picture tables set up of the bride & groom growing up, and they had toasts right after the cake cutting.  We're placing little journals with questions about where our guests see us in 5 years, they're first memories of us, etc on the tables at the reception...maybe you could use something like that to keep them occupied.  We got the idea here: http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/article/conversation-starter-guest-book?backto=true&backtourl=/photogallery/25-guest-book-ideas#slide_1
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dancing-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:b0acd0b2-1207-4819-a174-a5b39777254ePost:3f01ecfb-4170-4474-8237-b03840a5052e">Re: No dancing dilemma.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, I am not only Baptist, but having the ceremony AND reception in the SANCTUARY of my Baptist church, and I am having dancing.  Seriously.  DJ and all.
    Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]
    My church explicitly said "no dancing, no alcohol, and all music must be approved"  (the music part isn't a huge deal though.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    you dont need "activities" at a wedding.

    we had a lunch reception with no dancing.  folks were able to "entertain" themselves by socializing with us and their tablemates. 
  • GJones27GJones27 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I recently went to an outdoor wedding that had activities, like hoola hoops, horse shoe, and the like.  Maybe you can find some outdoor games for guests to play?
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you need activities. If you do have them, make them optional, many guests will prefer to eat and chat.
  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We had dancing at our wedding but only about 1/5 or fewer people danced.  The rest of our guests enjoyed visiting with each other.  I don't think the absence of dancing = boring reception.  I'm sure that your guests will enjoy the reception if you just provide great food and music is nice also.
    image
  • GJones27GJones27 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Clarification on the games: they weren't obligatory.  But lots of people got involved once the bride and groom and wedding party partook.
  • mattycammattycam member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have been to a few weddings with no dancing and it was fine. Between the eating, socializing and toasts it took up a good portion of the day/night. I don't think you need "fillers" for your reception.
  • HiddenPawHiddenPaw member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I also don't think you need extra activities.  If you want to do them, go right on ahead.  If you don't, then don't.  The main attraction at receptions is eating and talking anyway.  Even the receptions I've been to where there was dancing, the main activity was still eating and talking.

    I am of the firm opinion that a wedding shouldn't stress you out.  It's a joyous occasion, not a stressful one!  So if you are driving yourself crazy trying to think of something to "do" at the reception, just leave it be.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dancing-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:b0acd0b2-1207-4819-a174-a5b39777254ePost:3f01ecfb-4170-4474-8237-b03840a5052e">Re: No dancing dilemma.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, I am not only Baptist, but having the ceremony AND reception in the SANCTUARY of my Baptist church, and I am having dancing.  Seriously.  DJ and all.
    Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This rings true for me too.  My church is also a member of the Southern Baptist Convention.  We JUST finished putting on a broadway-style show (Christmas Pageant) complete with lots of choreography, drama, music, etc.... I guess some congregations are different.  </div><div>
    </div><div>My Brother and SIL didn't have dancing, and they also had a fairly short reception.  There were hors d'oeuvres, cake, grooms' cake, punch, garter toss, bouquet toss, etc... just no dancing.  There was special music, introduction of the wedding party, etc.  I think the reception was somewhere around an hour and a half long.  </div><div>
    </div><div>If you do dinner, you can have a longer reception since a full-on dinner (whether served or buffet-style) will take longer than hors d'oeuvres.  </div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: My SIL's church didn't mind dancing, but she and my brother just weren't that "into" it.  They refrained from the dancing thing purely on personal preference. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
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  • edited December 2011
    It really has nothing to do with the church as we are renting a hall...it's more the fact that we do not like dancing both of us are rather shy (and that my fiances family is very old fashioned) we just want something to that people have the option of doing instead of just eating and then sitting....oh yea and we have a hall for 4 hours.
  • MrsTucker2011MrsTucker2011 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Ecclesiastes 3:4
    a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    Jeremiah 31:4
    I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful.
    Jeremiah 31:13
    Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
    Psalm 150:4
    Praise Him with tambourine and dance; praise Him with stringed and wind instruments or flutes!

    I love to dance! :)

    If you absolutely can't dance-
    Photobooths are sooo fun! I can't wait to see all the pics from ours :)
    Karaoke,
    musical chairs
    auction off your centerpieces as an alternative to the dollar dance,
    a live band,
    a contest to see how well your guests know you by filling out questionaires - highest score wins a prize

    Anniversary An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged; no harm can be done. ~Jane Austen BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    My congregation is the kind that does this at the Christmas program:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0UJVALQEd0
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  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dancing-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:b0acd0b2-1207-4819-a174-a5b39777254ePost:995edf23-663f-4096-95bd-d3cbeba5ec34">Re: No dancing dilemma.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My congregation is the kind that does this at the Christmas program: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0UJVALQEd0">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0UJVALQEd0</a>
    Posted by sessionswedding[/QUOTE]

    That was cool...and so totally different from my church.  My university also does not allow couple or "club" style dancing on or off campus, although dancing during worship is not prohibited.  The Conservative Southern Baptist church that runs the school also produces a Broadway style Christmas program each year, and the University produces a talent show each semester that does stuff like this: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMB10wwmWrU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMB10wwmWrU</a>
  • edited December 2011
    ^LOL I have that video on my Facebook page right now, hahahaha.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dancing-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:b0acd0b2-1207-4819-a174-a5b39777254ePost:bed2db1a-565d-4395-96a5-9e19654af5b1">Re: No dancing dilemma.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ecclesiastes 3:4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance , Jeremiah 31:4 I will build you up again, and you, Virgin Israel, will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your timbrels and go out to dance with the joyful. Jeremiah 31:13 Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. Psalm 150:4 Praise Him with tambourine and dance ; praise Him with stringed and wind instruments or flutes! I love to dance! :) If you absolutely can't dance- Photobooths are sooo fun! I can't wait to see all the pics from ours :) Karaoke, musical chairs auction off your centerpieces as an alternative to the dollar dance, a live band, a contest to see how well your guests know you by filling out questionaires - highest score wins a prize
    Posted by MrsTucker2011[/QUOTE]

    this post, with the bible quotes, reminded me of the scene in Footloose where Kevin Bacon takes on the town counsel over the issue of "no dancing in town" and he reads passages from Lori Singer's bible.
  • MrsTucker2011MrsTucker2011 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_dancing-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:b0acd0b2-1207-4819-a174-a5b39777254ePost:e542e808-57fb-4f37-8095-6873997a03ca">Re: No dancing dilemma.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: No dancing dilemma. : this post, with the bible quotes, reminded me of the scene in Footloose where Kevin Bacon takes on the town counsel over the issue of "no dancing in town" and he reads passages from Lori Singer's bible.
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    Footloose? Never seen it. What's it about?
    Anniversary An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion. All is safe with a lady engaged; no harm can be done. ~Jane Austen BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I know I'm late to the party, but I have mixed feelings.  If it is a religious restriction, then that's fair enough and I can totally respect that.  However, if it's just that you and FI aren't into dancing, the thing to remember is that the reception is a "thank you" to your guests and so even if you won't partake in dancing yourselves, it's nice to consider their enjoyment. 

    That said, if you're not going to have dancing, I think it is good to have other activities, like icebreakers, games and such, to entertain the guests, although you still might want to count on a short reception anyway if there is no dancing.  On one hand, sure, the guests can socialize, but what about guests that come alone or don't know anyone at the reception?  You and your FI may not be the only people at the reception who are shy, and it may not be easy for those who come without knowing a lot of people to socialize, so it would be good to make accommodations so that it can be enjoyable for those guests who may not know a lot of people at the reception.
  • misslizlovesmisslizloves member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I do not dance and was very concerned about that with my wedding. One of the venues we were looking at suggested a morning ceremony and reception because the duration is shorter, which leaves time for a first dance and maybe another slow dance. I heard of something called "the newlywed game" that the DJ can do and it sounds like a lot of fun. We are saving $7,000 by having our wedding in the morning. I am sure your wedding will be great no matter what you decide to do!
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    MrsTucker: Go rent footloose this weekend!

    Its an old 80's movie starring Kevin  Bacon.  he and his mom move to a small town in hicksville USA from i think Chicago.

    he's really into music and dancing.  the town they move too is basically under the control of the town preacher (John Lithgow) and they have ordinances on dnacing and other stuff.  the preacher's daugher is Lori Singer and she's a wild child who of course seeks out the new kid Kevin Bacon.

    Its cheesey and great all at the same time.  Sarah Jessica Parker is also in it - i think maybe her first movie role.

    once you see it, you'll konew exactly the scene i'm referencing.

  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Is this indoor or outdoor?  For indoor, what about silly carnival games, like knocking down milk bottles with a ball or things like that?  Outdoors, you could do lawn games - croquet, badminton, etc.  It'd be a lot of fun, totally family friendly, and make for some cute photo ops.

    we did have dancing, but we also had Santa come to our December wedding.  it was a blast, everyone was taking pictures with him.  So much fun.
  • edited December 2011
    I've been to several weddings with no dancing.  They were cake and punch only receptions, and the families each had after parties with lunch/dinner and fellowship.  My family has played many card games at the wedding after parties.  At one,  the bride and groom came, and it was fun to watch the bride and groom open their gifts.  As a guest, I think I've actually had more fun at the after parties than I have at any reception.

    I also live in the south where people love tailgating and lawn games.  Depending on the time/venue, you could have some outdoor games (think croquet, lawn bowling, bocci ball, sidewalk chalk for the kiddos).
  • biancajohanbiancajohan member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We won't have dance either not because our chuch doesn't allow it. "My" church encourages dance as much as that can be.
    Here's one of our church songs:
    So definitely that's not our problem. Still we won't have it but we decided to focus on something else. We decided to continue with the theme that we have chosen for our wedding. My fiance and I loooooove travelling (I am half Lybian and half Romanian, he is Swedish and we met in London). We both have mission on our hearths (I lived in Turkey and 6 other different countries). 
    So our seating chart will look like a map with countries, as well as our wedding invitations were boarding cards and place seating will be looking like a luggage tag.
    Our flowers will be Japanese style, Ikebana to be more precise. 
    We will have different traditions all throughout the ceremony and reception, different games, we will change clothes, use the Finland crown idea instead of throwing the bouquet, the French cup, the Sand ceremony that my fiance's dad will lead us into (he used to be a priest), etc. We will take communion at the ceremony that will actually be in a hotel. Our ceremony will be 20 minutes long.
    We have all sorts of "crazy" ideas for the ceremony. 
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