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Prayers and suggestions! Second wedding and special circumstances!

All,

We are meeting via in person and skype with a priest  on Saturday who will marry us Sacramentally soon after 4 YEARS of waiting.  The date in my bio is not a for real date, it's a "best guess" because of the deployment and living situation.  Add to that the possibility of the date moving because he is an Army Civilian, the Catholic Church's wedding prep with a really helpful and compassionate priest working with an odd circumstance, his living situation is dependent on the wedding and a change submitted to the Army due to the marriage, and it's REALLY complicated.  Obviously this is a “second” marriage for both of us, I have children still left at home who have been praying that we can marry for most of this time. 

1st I need your prayers, there are still cards in the air waiting to fall, and we would love your help in God’s realm to make this day special.

2nd  I need ideas to make this day special.  We have prayed and worked so hard to follow the Church’s teachings and have not married civilly nor done anything we should be ashamed of, I want to celebrate that with gusto!   We may not even be having a reception.   I am hoping I can throw together some punch, light fare, and a cake for hospitality reasons. That and being able to have a first dance to a song that means so much to us is all I wish for as "extras". At this point, I just want our friends who have been praying for us for 4 years to come and celebrate the wedding itself if possible.  For instance, I was stopped by a Christian co-worker who was moving to another job insisting she STILL got an invite because she had been with me all these years of waiting.

We have waited for sex, AND a Sacramental Marriage for 4 years (read below).  We have rarely even kissed to honor the Church's teaching on Marriage.  He will be home for a month, and that is our "window" of opportunity basically.  We haven't lived on the same continent in 3 years.

Just a glimpse into the absolute pain we have endured for 4 years to live by the Church's teachings ~ 

Met 2007
Decided to marry Late 2008 (see siggy  
joined May 2008-Thought he could get a quick dispensation to be free to marry - there is much more to it but way to complex Canonically legal stuff to understand!)
Annulment process started early 2009
Deployment to AFGHANISTAN Jan 2010
Return from AFG March 2011
Moved to a foreign country June 2011
AFG again 2012


ALL THIS TIME We waited for an annulment for him.  I have been free to marry the entire time.  And to answer all we were free to civilly marry for all this time.  He and I decided we would stay within the confines of the Faith that is so very dear to us both.

This is not a convalidation, we are marrying in the civil and sacred realms.

Help me brainstorm to at least throw a small reception together at the Church’s community center for the over 100 guests who have prayed for us for this day to come for over 4 years!  

Wish I could call David Tuterra!!!!! 

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Re: Prayers and suggestions! Second wedding and special circumstances!

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    Welcome to the board, and congratulations!

    It sounds like you have really struggled and tried to do things the right way, so kudos!

    If you invite people, you need to host them in SOME way, but you don't need to spend a lot.

    The cheapest option is to serve cake and punch in the Church hall afterwards, but if you do this, you should schedule your wedding at a non-meal time (so a 1:30 or 2:00pm ceremony, with a reception from 2:30/3:00 to 5:00pm).  You can go to Costco/sam's club for cake, punch/lemonade/tea, and a few other snack trays like veggies, crackers, and cheese.  Super cheap!  Get an ipod if it's allowed and hook it up to speakers for some background music.  You could still do a first dance and all that stuff.  Simple and still beautiful.

    If you want to schedule your wedding around meal time, you can put together a cheap meal.  There are restaurants that cater for very cheap (think barbecue or mexican) OR you can just get more food trays from grocery store/ costco/sam, etc.  Trays of sandwiches, pasta, appetizers, etc.  If you have access to a grill, you can do a hamburger/hotdog buffet.

    Either way, you'll be with your new husband and the people you love, so you'll have a great time! 

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    Lots of great suggestions in the prior post.  I would add that you might be able to get some help with setting up and/or cleaning up from the youth group or a woman's group at the church.  Ask the chruch secretary.  She may also have some other good ideas or resources for you.  Congratulations and good luck!
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    im confused - his annulment started in early 2009 and its still in process?  they usually take 18-24 months (although some go thru faster).  you two are looking at close to four years.  has your priest been checking in with the tribunal?

    hang in there.  i believe everything can happen wtih prayer.
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    Calypso,

    The first attempt at annulment was denied due to lack of evidence on the grounds submitted, this was September 2010.  Due to the fact he was in Afghanistan they ruled without giving him the chance to change the grounds.  We know there were falsehoods stated from first hand knowledge by one of the witnesses after the ruling, but again he was in AFG so he couldn't even look into any of the false claims.  So an entirely NEW annulment had to be submitted on new grounds, and he wasn't even back in the country for six months AFTER the first Annulment was denied to restart this process in the spring of 2011.   We are nearing the close of that second annulment. A first decree was granted in early November, we are waiting for a second decree.  This has been an extremely painful process for us. 

    We are beyond thankful for the Navy Chaplain who has spent the last two years untangling the mess created when my dearest Friend converted and this was not cleared up at that time in early 2001 .  He is the priest who is trying to marry us in our "window".  Please pray for the chaplain as he was deployed himself during the second try at the annulment!!! (He just got back in Sept)

    Our "church family" will help me if I ask, but there are even more complications there as the priest in my home parish may not bend on any rules, so we may have to marry at the Navy chaplain's parish up the road a bit. I have known the Navy chaplain for over 11 years. He baptized my last child, and came to my bedside when I almost died with my fourth. So he actually knows me, my ex husband, and my dearest Friend (I don't call him Fiancee, cause he is still married in the eyes of the Church until the second decree comes back!-I don't wear an engagement ring either ;-(  Can't wait for that!)

    TXKristan - My first name is Michelle.

    I am eternally grateful for any prayers you ladies send my way.  I will post pics of me and my sweetheart if someone informs me how to do so!

    Blessings All,
    Michelle.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_prayers-and-suggestions-second-wedding-and-special-circumstances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:e10ec3b4-ccbd-44b6-805e-bb39de49da93Post:eb070d6e-90fb-4ebc-abff-a79124727220">Re: Prayers and suggestions! Second wedding and special circumstances!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>, and my dearest Friend (I don't call him Fiancee, cause he is still married in the eyes of the Church until the second decree comes back!-I don't wear an engagement ring either ;-(  Can't wait for that!) 
    Posted by M&Mf4me[/QUOTE]

    </div><div>I can't tell you how awesome I think this is. I know its hard to wait, but its so rare that people actually see the reality of the situation of marriage still existing till proven otherwise, so actually its not good to even date, much less "get engaged". </div><div>
    </div><div>Thanks for being so loyal to the truth.</div><div>
    </div>
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_prayers-and-suggestions-second-wedding-and-special-circumstances?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:e10ec3b4-ccbd-44b6-805e-bb39de49da93Post:78750cf9-5c36-4700-83a8-88e85a447dd5">Re: Prayers and suggestions! Second wedding and special circumstances!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Prayers and suggestions! Second wedding and special circumstances! : I can't tell you how awesome I think this is. I know its hard to wait, but its so rare that people actually see the reality of the situation of marriage still existing till proven otherwise, so actually its not good to even date, much less "get engaged".  Thanks for being so loyal to the truth.
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree.  I really admire OP for trying to do things the right way!

    OP, if you see the little tree icon, you click on it, you can upload pictures from your computer.

    I know it can be very hard to do things God's way, but it's going to be so worth it in the end when you and your future husband can properly join together and marry.

    SaveSave
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