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Not sure what to do

jeaniegreerjeaniegreer member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
I am getting married for the third and final time.  We are going away just the two of us and getting married.  We want to have a reception of some sort when we get back.  

This is what i am not sure what to do, being both of ours third wedding.  How long after getting back do we do this?  What do you do for the reception, decorations/theme, do you do anything for wedding things or just a party?
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Re: Not sure what to do

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    pamila51510pamila51510
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What do you feel like doing? If you want to have a wedding cake and centerpieces and all of that DO IT! You deserve to celebrate its your wedding. You can have just a back yard BBQ if that is what you want. It doesn't matter if it is your 1st marriage or your 15th marriage it is a time to celebrate the union of your and your husband!
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    ARMYmarriedNAVYARMYmarriedNAVY
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think I would do a cocktail party. It gives people an excuse to dress up, but doesn't have the formality of a "reception" -- that being said if YOU want a big reception I say go for it. I think it is "traditional" to host the reception within a week/month of the wedding ceremony.
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    jeannigirljeannigirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You def can have a wedding reception to announce your marriage and celebrate with family and friends. I think that it would be ok for up to a month after that it may be questionable.

    You can have a very formal dinner Reception or a casual laid back one, it depends on the personalities of you both.
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    AuntieJoAuntieJo
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    First off--I agree that you should do what you want to do.  YOU ARE ENTITLED.  Ok... now I have to rant because I sense that we all suffer from what others think... I'm having a moment:

    Why is it that we all seem to be so affected by what other people have to say??  WHY ARE WE NOT ENTITLED TO IT ALL?????  Because we have had some bad luck?  Because we have made some bad decisions?  Why would I want to remember planning and having such a beautiful day with someone who ended up being AN AWFUL husband when now I have this AMAZING MAN... I want to shout from the roof tops that I am marrying this wonderful sexy man... why does HE deserve less effort than the first two?!!

    Ok.  Sorry.  That was a bit of rant.  I have similar insecurities that you do it seems... I'm so worried about what is appropriate for my THIRD.  Well, that's it.  I'm done with worrying about it and I think that you should too.  I am here looking for other people in similar situations to myself... people who have found love AFTER two failed marriages... people who despite past failures want to give it a try.

    We're not "stupid", or "pathetic"... nor do we "need help" (oh yes... I've heard it all)..  Oh, my favourite:  "You're just OBVIOUSLY not the marrying kind".  Well, you know what--I am the marrying kind.  I am smart and fabulous and worth more than the crap I took in my past.  And I GIVE myself permission to be happy and celebrate the awesome relationship that I have... I am PROUD of myself for not being scared--for saying yes to happiness and giving marriage another shot despite my understandable fear.  Oh... I could rant for a long time... stop reading now if you need to... here I go...


    You want to know what else really bothers me?  How much thought do people REALLY put into getting married?  How many questions and fears do first time brides go through?  Please don't get me wrong, I'm not crapping on "first-timers"--I am merely stating that I think because of my fear I think I go thSo, why do people who have never been married think that THEY have all the answers and the authority to question ME on my decisons?  I have the longest mental check-list than anyone I've ever met.  My last long relationship ended and a lot of people were shocked because we were so "perfect" for eachother--but he wanted to marry me and I wasn't sure--so I ended it.  I wasn't happy.  I am PICKY and I guarantee you that I am not settling--the only reason that I am getting married now is because I believe in love and can not imagine ever being with someone else after having experienced what I experience DAILY with my FI.


    So, I stick my tongues out to all my sceptics.  Congratulations ladies on your bravery... I celebrate your courage.


    Ok.  I'm done now.

    Please be happy and do whatever makes you happy. 

    Hugs,
    Joanne

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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You go Joanne!

    I agree with what everyone has said. There really is no reason to ask permission to have what you want.

    In answer to the original question: Depending on when you are going away to get married, have the party whenever you want as well. Anything more than 6 months would probably become a "housewarming" instead of a celebration.


    Have a formal party at your home, a hall, a restaurant, or whatever. Have a BBQ in your backyard....... it just depends on what you want. And DON'T worry about family members who might be cynical or critical. Just don't invite those that aren't going to share in your happiness.


    Pffft to everyone else!


    Good luck.

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    jeaniegreerjeaniegreer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you for everyones support, and i agree we should do what we want to do. I need some ideas on what to do at the reception, i know what happens at the formal reception right after the wedding; ie, the wedding dance, the cake cutting, the garter throwing the boquet, garter etc.....   Birthday parties you have cake and sing, i am not sure what kinds of things you do at a after the wedding couple of months later celebration.  Do you need to do anything special to celebrate the couple or is the party enough?
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I think you can do what you want. You can make it a smaller scale reception, cut the cake, have some dancing & food. Personally, unless you have a lot of 20-40 yr olds who are single, I'd skip the garter & bouquet toss.

    The rest depends on your budget. You could have it in a park, a backyard, or a restaurant. Anything outside would require a lot of rentals, or catering, so you may want to have it in a restaurant. Post on your local board in FL and see if anyone has any recommendations for you as far a nice restaurant in your area. Meet with the people at the restaurant and discuss your "lower key" wedding and see what they can recommend.

    Do what you want and can afford. No one is going to say anything snarky, and if they do, don't invite them!

    Good luck.

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