Maid of Honor selection

Re: Maid of Honor selection

• Avion22 member

  

  March 2012

  Kicking someone out of your wedding party is a friendship-ending move.

  
  

  If you want to ask your sister to stand up with you, then ask her, regardless of whatever is going on with your other friend.  It's okay to have to "maids of honor" even (though I would handly this gently with the first friend).

  
  

  
  

  

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• Lisa50 member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_maid-of-honor-selection?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:e776d8db-e706-49f6-89db-48fb53259221Post:0b139a01-4da6-49ed-97b1-3daffe0641f7">Maid of Honor selection</a>:
  [QUOTE]My fiance andy I are best friends so when it comes to finding the person to have as a maid of honor it was hard for me. I chose the person who was closest to me at the time but <strong><font color="#0000ff">she has had some personal issues and we havent talked much lately</font></strong>.I am kinda wishing I could change my mind and have my babysister stand up with me. Shes my next closest person but how do I handle it? Do I just go with it? or is there a way to talk about it?
  Posted by heathernneil[/QUOTE]
  
  It seems to me you owe your friend a phone call.  If she was important enough to be asked to stand up for you, she deserves your support now.  Your extension of concern may well bring your relationship to a place where you cannot imagine ever rethinking her role as your maid of honor.
  
  I agree with PP.  Kicking her out of the wedding <u>is</u> a friendship-ending move. Doing so when she's down and out because of personal issues is not very sensitive.

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• mdeidre

  

  March 2012

  I agree that you should call her, see where she is emotionally and offer her your help as her friend.  If she's unable to be your MOH, maybe your sister can share the load with her, it's ok to have two.  I also agree that kicking her out because she's got so much going on that she needs to focus on getting herself together for a while is a friendship ending move.

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• mlarmetta

  

  March 2012

  Sorry, but you can't "unring a bell". Try to re-connect with your friend and also ask your sister to be a maid of honor too. It's your wedding, you can have whomever you want as an attendant!
  
  

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• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  March 2012

  ITA with mlarmetta on this. It's perfectly fine to have 2 MOH (or maid and matron of honor). But I also agree you should find out what is up with your friend. Not because you worry about her as MOH, but because she is your friend.

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• Lauren12182011

  

  March 2012

  Depending on the personal issues, she might be relieved to have a way out. Don't call--go SEE her. This is a face-to-face chat. Be direct, I know when I asked you to be MOH, this personal issue wasn't there.  Do you need and out?.... she might feel like backing out would end the friendship as well. 

  

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• TheodensQueen2B member

  

  April 2012

  Your MOH, dealing with her personal issues, might need a way out anyway.  Give her a call, ask her how she is, etc.  Tell her you'd still like her to be a part of the bridal party and let her know you are promoting your baby sister to MOH as well to "take off some of the load."  She might be very relieved at that.  That way, you're not DEMOTING HER, you are simply adding help.

  

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