Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

ceremony help

i havent been to a wedding in a really long time so i need some help as to what all goes in to it and were different songs come in to place a have a child that is not my fiance and i know i want to put something in the ceremoney with her adding us as a family and ii know i want to do the sand/candle unity thing but just dont know what else goes into it please help

Re: ceremony help

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    Your post is a run-on and it's hard to read.  Do you mind using some capital letters and punctuation?

    As to the songs, that would depend on what your religion and/or house of worship allow.

    As to the child, three questions: 1) What sex is your child? 2) How old is your child? and 3) Does your child really want to participate?

    If your child is under about 4, don't try to put him/her in the ceremony at all, because s/he won't remember or understand it.  Just include him/her in pictures and let it go at that.

    If your child is older than that, consider whether or not s/he really wants to be in the ceremony.  S/he may feel shy or uncomfortable, especially if you're not marrying his/her father.  If s/he doesn't want to participate, don't force it on him/her.  Children of separated parents often have all kinds of feelings about their parents' remarriage to other people-and they're not necessarily going to be smiley-faced about it.  If that's the case, let it go.

    If s/he does want to participate, then depending on his/her age and gender, s/he could be a ring bearer or flower girl up to about age 7, and then a bridesmaid or groomsman (don't bother with "junior") after that, or do a reading.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-help-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:21aded8a-6848-44a5-92b6-42edc794876dPost:8bf00daa-266d-4c68-9fb8-c0b5a9b37975">Re: ceremony help</a>:
    [QUOTE]I cannot understand your post at all.  Could you try again, using punctuation?  Something about a child?
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]
    FTFY.



  • It's really not appropriate to put any kind of "joining as a family" thing in the ceremony b/c your daughter is not marrying your fiance. Family bonding activities do not belong in a wedding ceremony. Include her, as Jen said, depending on age, as a flower girl, bridesmaid, or reader. 

    As far as what else goes into it, that depends on the kind of ceremony you want to have. You can have a very simple, short and sweet ceremony, which I think most people prefer unless they are doing, say, a Catholic Mass. You can Google for wedding ceremonies to see what appeals to you or get information from your officiant. 

    As for songs, that also depends on what all you are doing. We had only 4 songs we "needed" played. Bridal party entrance, my entrance, the recessional, and our cake cutting. I think if you do a sand ceremony, you would have music for that, too. If you are doing ceremonial seating of parents and grandparents, probably something for that. If not, just some kind of music while guests seat themselves is nice. Our string trio just played a variety of classical music for that. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Just make her a flower girl. Don't include her in the sand ceremony if you're having one.

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