Second Weddings

Elope and then party?

Hi!  

My FI and I are "eloping" on a cruise this December which we will also use as our honeymoon.  I use "these" because even though we will be getting married alone (or with maybe one set of friends in attendance) everyone knows we are getting married and we are telling people.  We would like to have a home reception summer 2013 to celebrate our marriage.  

We are having our wedding intimate for several personal reasons and mainly because it is what we want.  We don't want the drama and hassle of a traditional wedding, plus we live in MO and my family and the majority of our friends live in several states across the NE and MI.  

I know many people have issues with a late reception and I'll most likely take some shell fire for even mentioning it, but for a duel second wedding we think it is perfect for us and our situation.  

Has anyone else done this before and have any advice or ideas they could throw our way?  I was thinking of sending out announcements/STD's in November.  Something along the lines of...

We are having our wedding alone, but would like to celebrate our marriage with all of you at this date at our home.

Not exactly the wording but this idea.  Once again...any ideas or suggestions?
Happily in love since 12-01-10 Happily married since 12-01-12

Re: Elope and then party?

  • Open & honest is important, so kudos to you for that part.   I agree with your anticipated critics that your party is fairly delayed from the wedding.   I would encourage you to hold it as early in the spring/summer as you can, based on the weather & other considerations.  As far as wording your save the dates, I would skip the STD format, and instead send a wedding announcement.  Announce that you were married, then add in the announcement that an at home reception is scheduled for June 1, 2013 at your home.  

    And just a bit of advice:  with your first names in your sn, and your last names in your wedding webpage, I can pretty much find out way more about you (where you work, etc) than you want on the internet when you are planning a wedding.  ~Donna

  • Hi there - congrats, you must be so excited for your cruise!

    Here's my thoughts for you in this situation - first talk it over with your closest family members and friends and see what advice they have for you. They will be major players in the second event, so their input is important.

    Also, you would want to call your event next year a "party" or "celebration" of your marriage - but it couldn't be called a wedding, wedding reception or second wedding since you'll already be married legally. Party to me is a great word anyway, who doesn't love a party :). You'll also want to tone down all the usual reception type details and think of it more like an anniversary party. Definitely have tons of pictures from the real cruise wedding!

    For the announcement, definitely don't send anything out before your cruise. That would emphasize the "you're not invited to our wedding" angle. Instead, after the cruise, send out a "we're married!" type announcement w/photo from your cruise, and use it also as the Save the Date for your celebration next year. Check Wedding Paper Divas in the Announcement category for ideas.

    Good luck & best wishes, Jennifer
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Visit The Knot!
  • Your at home party would be just that because you will already have been married.  The pp's on this thread have very good ideas about using a wedding announcement as a mean to have people STD for your at home party. 

  • We are "eloping" as well - I see no reason to keep it a secret!  I have told my closest friends and family. 

    How about calling it a celebration party or an anniversary party (if you can get the timing right)?  I see nothing wrong with that - as long as you're not redoing a whole wedding (if you are call it a vow renewal).  But if you just want to have a party at some point, then that's what I do.  Celebration party or anniversary party.  Holding it on or near your anniversary would give it more validation with the large gap in time.

    If you do send out wedding annoucement after your cruise, I may hold off on STD part for a party.  I mean it's a whole year off - things happen, I certainly know my plans did not go to my visions in the least!  So I just worry about telling people about it before you have a date, unless you REALLYREALLY think you're going to follow through with the party next summer. 
  • My nephew and his bride wed last month in Colorado.  It was just the two of them and witnesses.  All relatives live in the midwest.  We are all aware of the wedding.  When they come to the midwest for Thanksgiving, there will be a celebration so family and friends can offer their congratulations. 

    Invitations can be worded easily, depending on whether parents or the bride and groom are hosting the event.  The invitations make it clear the wedding occurred on an earlier date.  There is no additional ceremony.

    Mr. and Mrs. Parents
    Invite you to join us
    In celebrating the recent marriage of our son
    Groom
    To
    Bride
    Which took place July XX  2012 in Boulder, Colorado

    Come toast the happy couple
    Saturday, November XX, 2012
    Name of Restaurant
    Address

    Or

    Mr. and Mrs. Parent
    Invite you to join them for drinks and hors dourves honoring
    Mr. and Mrs. Newly Married Couple
    Saturday, November XX, 2012
     
    OR
    Groom name wed Bride name on
    July XX, 2012
    Please join them in celebration
    At a drinks & hors d’oeuvres reception
    Hosted by .........................
    Date 2012
    Time
    Place
    ORBride and Groom wed on July XX, 2012
    Please join with them and their families at a reception to celebrate.

    Date:
    Time:
    Where:

    Contact:
    OR
    Please join us in celebration of the recent marriage of
    Name of Groom and Name of Bride
    at a drinks and  hors d’oeuvres reception


    Date, time, address


    OR

    Parents of Bride
    joyfully announce
    the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's name
    to
    Groom's name
    Which occurred on
    July XX, 2012
    In Boulder, Colorado

    and invite you to join them
    for an evening celebration of drinks and hor's doeuvres
    Saturday, the XX of November, 2012

    at XX o'clock in the evening Place
    Address


    ****Please excuse the word "drinks" on these invitation suggestions.  I had originally used another word that sounds like mocktails but starts with a "c".  Apparently, the censors on The Knot could only decipher the first syllable of that word, and insisted I edit my content of all "profanity".......seriously??
  • WHOA so funny I was just goin to post the same thing and get advice... :) Love the suggestions. We are doing the same thing pretty much but including our children in the eloping.
  • anssettanssett member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited August 2012
    I'm doing essentially this. We are planning a TINY wedding sometime in the spring (9 people including us, officiant, & family). It's not really warm where I live until July so we're planning a Family Union picnic for all the family then. I'm hesitant about waiting until April to send out invites for the July party. We've got a date picked out so wouldn't save-the-dates be safer so no one makes other plans? 

    This is my second wedding but my fiance's first. His family is being great about respecting our desire for the tiny wedding, then giant party later. My family is dumber and confused because we're breaking from tradition. Immediate family gets it and is being great, extended family less so. I think sending out clear invites/STDs/whatever is super important.
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