Giving the bride away

mustanggoonie · February 2011

My dad will be walking me down the aisle. I left home years ago and was married once before. I live with my FI. I'm not really being "given away" if you know what I mean.
How should the minister phrase the "Who gives this woman away?" question?

MikesAngie · February 2011

Exactly what Sarah said!

right1thistime · February 2011

We didn't use the phrase at all. I presented myself to be married, no one else had anything to do with it. Our celebrant agreed that anything related to a family of origin was not appropriate at this point. She had the assembled guests offer a blessing. ~Donna

[Deleted User] · February 2011

One of the reasons I found vows that made no mention of that. Regardless of age or whatever, I am not medieval chattel to be given away.

2dBride · February 2011

This question is not required, even at a first wedding. If you want to acknowledge your parents in the ceremony, you could always follow a Jewish tradition that is becoming more common in other ceremonies: have both of FI's parents escort him, and both of your parents escort you. That acknowledges your roots, without sounding like a medieval property transfer.

Sue-n-Kevin · February 2011

I *think* my dad will walk me down the aisle, depends on whether he gets over his fear of being the center of attention, LOL. He's 85, so it's a pretty ingrained fear.

I like the idea of not saying anything, the minister does not have to include that in the ceremony.

Lisa50 · February 2011

My father escorted me down the aisle. We stopped at the first pew, where my mother was seated. He gave me a kiss and I went on my merry way -- by myself -- up to the altar. There was no mention of him/them giving me away.

This time around, FI and I will process up the aisle together, after spending a good 15 - 20 minutes (we think) greeting each of our guests.

mswood1977 · February 2011

My dad walked me down the aisle, I was married in a Catholic mass and asking who is giving the woman in marriage is not part of the how weddings are done. My dad walked me down the aisle where my husband (groom) was waiting below the altar, kissed my check, shook my husband's hand and then I took my husband my his arm and we walked up to the altar together.

I think your dad can escort you without giving you away.

thealphabride · February 2011

Depending upon the type of ceremony you have that phrase may not even be included in your wedding.

BarbaraJane2011 · February 2011

I recently attended a wedding where the couple's grown children said something in unison about approving of the union (I think hers first, in unison, and then his). I'm thinking of doing something like that, or maybe having my son walk me down the aisle, or all my children.

squarepeg72 · March 2011

My son is walking down the aisle and the minister is asking "who asks this mas to join this family" and having all three of mychildren reply in unison.

Giving the bride away

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