Long story short...my mother got remarried when I was 3 years old. My stepfather has been there for me throughout my whole life. My father passed away when I was 10, but I am still very close with all of his family.
When I was in school, my mother used my stepfathers last name on everything, so I was known as one last name, but after I graduated (15 years ago) I have used my legal (fathers last name)
My mother is adament that I use my stepfathers last name on the invitation instead of the name I have used for the last 15 years. She says that everyone we will invite knows me as one last name, and they will feel bad that his name is not on the invitation. I told her, that will be teh same way that my fathers family will all feel as well. I suggested hyphenating my name on the invitation (although I prefer not to) but feel like I dont want to hurt anybodys feelings.
Part 2---My mother feels their names should be on the invitation, even though my fiance and myself are footing the whole wedding with no help. I tried to explain nicely to my mother that etiquette says if the bride and groom are paying the wedding, that the parents names probably not be on the invitation, but we could put Along with their parents.....and so on. She became upset about this too. Can I please have some suggestions? Thank you.