Honeymoon Registries

mmovalle · February 2012

My fiance and I are grown adults and homeowners. We feel silly thinking of registering for towels and household items that we already have. We are considering a honeymoon registry, but the posts so far on The Knot seem very anti-HR. What's another alternative??

MNVegas · February 2012

Small registry for guests who want to give physical gifts and yes, those people still exist. Other guests will get the hint that cash would be appreciated. You can also have your wedding party and family spread the word that you are registered at store x but also saving for a honeymoon.

You do not need a gimmicky website collect money from your guests. They know to put cash/check in a card. Can't get any more simple than that!

amymaysa · February 2012

Create a small registry of things you would like to upgrade. Most people on here atre 'grownups' and homeowners/living together and are upgrading a few things on a small registry. People know cash is a great gift and will get the hint when they see one small registry.
HMR are tacky and most just give the couple a check for the amount, so people think they are buying the couple a nice dinner on the beach and in reality, the couple gets a check (sometimes with fees taken out)

Beverly8 · February 2012

I agree with PP. HMR are very tacky. It is really the best to have a small registry and simply spread the word that cash is best. good luck!

MrsGandthebeag · February 2012

I think we got 3 physical gifts at our wedding and everyone else gave us cash. People know that cash is the best way to go for a wedding gift even if you have a registry or two.

vsgal · February 2012

We were adults and homeowners when we got married. We still found things to upgrade or replace. People aren't daft. Everyone knows that cash is king. Make a small registry and people will figure it out.

leamide · February 2012

I totally agree, I think the HR are tacky no matter where in life you stand. We all need some upgrades in our homes, so why not put some things on a register. We have some things we will be upgrading and somethings that we have wanted, but won't buy because they are more "wants" than needs, so we are putting them on the registery too. We also enjoy camping, but need a lot of the equipment, so we will be having that on the registery as well. People don't mind giving money, but just remember a gift box or cage. I have heard of people walking off with the cards from weddings (can't really believe friends would do that, but you never know).

gundy21 · February 2012

We were 37 and 38 when we got married. I had owned my home 8 years. We did upgrades -
- new bath towels (good ones)
- upgraded our knives (Shun - LOVE)
- added a few pots and pans in sizes we didn't have
- we bought ourselves a new king bed as our present to each other - we registered for new linens since we only had queen stuff
- some fun entertaining / serving pieces
- replaced our everyday dishes and glassware
- I went thru our utensil drawers and listed out what needed replacing and added a few "wish I had" items (ex. microplane and mandolin)

adamssa · February 2012

We had the same dilemma. I am outnumbered here, but we did choose to make a honeymoon registry. I have heard a lot of positive things from our guests about it. In fact, at our showers most of our gifts were from our HR. We did create smaller regular registries too for people who wanted to give a physical gift. But most of our friends and family know us well enough to know we really don't need those things. We decided to go with what would be more useful to us as a couple. The comments that I have gotten are that the guests liked knowing and choosing what their cash would go towards. The "gift certificates" that they print out say what they put the money in there for and they can include that in their card. Do what you guys feel is right for you as a couple.

MandaK12 · February 2012

I agree that you should do what you feel is right for you and your guests - not necessarily what a bunch of internet strangers agree with. My FH and I are also doing a honeymoon registry through Honeymoon Pixie because we're in a similar situation to yours. We intend to use the money for what our guests chose to purchase for us, and we've had really good reactions from it so far.

We're also doing a small side registry to upgrade some things we've had for a few years, as one of the PPs said. I really like the idea of getting a king sized bed for ourselves and registering for new linens. Might have to discuss that one with FH....

alithebride · February 2012

in my area gifts from the registries are given at the SHOWER and cash/check gifts are given at the WEDDING.
not sure how it is by you but that's how it's done by me.
i'm not down with HM registries. i'll be happy to give you a gift for your home but I won't pay for your vacation.
if you're grown adults and homeowners and dont need anything then dont have a registry for anything

if you really want to use your wedding money for the HM that's fine-use it, but know that if you do a HM registry or use people's monetary gifts for a HM you'll still have to plan and py for a HM you can afford as you wont get the registry $ or wedding money until then and you wont know how much you'll get.

vsgal · February 2012

In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registries:
[QUOTE]I agree that you should do what you feel is right for you and your guests - not necessarily what a bunch of internet strangers agree with. My FH and I are also doing a honeymoon registry through Honeymoon Pixie because we're in a similar situation to yours. We intend to use the money for what our guests chose to purchase for us, and we've had really good reactions from it so far. We're also doing a small side registry to upgrade some things we've had for a few years, as one of the PPs said. I really like the idea of getting a king sized bed for ourselves and registering for new linens. Might have to discuss that one with FH....
Posted by MandaK12[/QUOTE]

Here's the thing. We all agree on this because it is proper etiquette. It is rude to ask for money in any form from your guests. Period. Your friends and family don't say it is rude to your face because they are either naive to proper etiquette or they don't want to rock the boat. Friends and family don't want to tell a bride that her idea is crappy. You do a honeymoon registry, you don't get a gift from me. Pay for your own vacation. People are not idiots. Everyone knows that cash is king. They will give it if they want to. Stay with the small registry and dump the HM one. People will give you cash. We got close to $3000 with no tacky cash registry and no word of mouth.

Tandra&Devin · February 2012

Since my FI and I haven't got any space for anything and also have roommates, we're going with a honeymoon registry. My grandmother gifted us with a full week at a resort in Cancun even before we decided to nix the traditional registry, so it never seemed tacky. Everyone who knows about it so far has really liked the idea. Personally, I don't see much of a difference between gifting household items and giving towards a honeymoon.

Do whatever you want, though. We put some items on our honeymoon registry that guests can gift us with directly, if they like, and that will help with our honeymoon. Camera accessories, luggage, his-and-her beach towels/totes, etc.

KellyBrian2013 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:5a7982d6-003b-4638-880f-d2a2c68fc44fPost:3c8e134e-9a82-4250-aadd-5282969dbd65">Re: Honeymoon Registries</a>:
[QUOTE]Since my FI and I haven't got any space for anything and also have roommates, we're going with a honeymoon registry. My grandmother gifted us with a full week at a resort in Cancun even before we decided to nix the traditional registry, so it never seemed tacky. Everyone who knows about it so far has really liked the idea. <strong> Personally, I don't see much of a difference between gifting household items and giving towards a honeymoon.</strong> Do whatever you want, though. We put some items on our honeymoon registry that guests can gift us with directly, if they like, and that will help with our honeymoon. Camera accessories, luggage, his-and-her beach towels/totes, etc.
Posted by Tandra&Devin[/QUOTE]

The difference is that when you register for a toaster, a guest buys you a toaster. When you register for a couples massage, dinner, or excursion on a HM registry, you get a check, minus any service fees taken by the registry.

Why lie to your guests? Wouldn't it be better to say "we're saving up for X" and allowing them to write a check directly to you? So when they give you $100 cash, you get $100 cash instead of $93.50...

MandaK12 · February 2012

With our registry, you can set it up so that the fees are up front, which means guests understand that they're paying them. Hence, you aren't lying to your guests. Yes, you can use the cash you get for things other than what your guests intend, but this isn't what we're doing - nor is it what most people I've talked to about honeymoon registries do.

boo his · February 2012

We are doing a honeymoon registry also. It is not accepted well on these boards, but the truth of the matter is...it's your wedding, you know your family/friends and if they see it the way you do...why not do it! Our family and friends are really supportive of it. Of course there may be a couple of people that turn their nose up at it, but in the grand scheme of things.. it doesn't matter. I have had several couples come to me and say they wished they had thought of this when they got married. A registry is a registry...either way you are listing things for people to buy you. We used Honeyfund and it does NOT take fee's from your guest. You list things and they simply pledge to give it to you...there are NO hidden fee's. I am not lying to my guests and fully intend to use the money given to me toward their gift purchased through our Honeyfund. We also have a small traditional registry, and so far people have only used my Honeyfund.
So, go with it...have a great wedding, and enjoy your honeymoon! Don't change your mind just because a bunch of strangers tell you its tacky and rude..That's their opinion and it's okay that they have it..Happy Planning!

chendra+david · March 2012

What do you think about registries where you can put a down payment on a house or car or larger things like refrigerators that people can contribute to? We have all the towels and toasters we need....

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