Dress Shopping

jeff0908 · January 2012

June 8, 2013
When I go dress shopping I really want my dad to be there, he is paying for the dress, but he does not seem interested in going, for that matter he doesn't want to do any wedding planning things. He just wants to give me money and say go for it as long as I'm in the budget. I talked to him, but does anyone hve any ideas of how I can get him more involved?

emmyroo · January 2012

If he doesn't want to go to the initial dress shopping, maybe go to that with just the women (or men) you were going to invite besides him. You could narrow it down and have him come later to help you choose between the last few dresses or, if you find THE ONE, give him a chance to look at it before you buy it and give "final approval". A lot of guys just aren't into he whole initial shopping thing. I know my dad won't be, but I think I'll show it to him before I buy it or something (though I'll be paying for my dress myself.) Good luck!

PrettyInPearls23 · January 2012

If he doesn't want to be involved, I wouldn't force the issue on him. Give him the option to attend; if he chooses not to, just accept that. Once you have your dress, maybe invite him to the first fitting?

Jaridds68 · January 2012

Your dad is going to be as involved as he wants to be - also, his idea of involvement might be completely different from yours. I would talk to him and let him know it would mean a lot for him to be there (but w/o putting him through a guilt trip), if after that he still isn't that interested just leave it be. You may have to reframe your expectations for your dad, and it's ok if he doesn't want to get involved in the way you want.

My mom isn't the most warm/nurturing person, and she had no clue why I would want her with me while looking for the dress. In her mind the dress was an errand to check off, but she came around when I explained that for me it's time spent with her, a memory, bonding moment, etc. I think if you just tell your dad you want to spend time together (wedding related or not) he'll appreciate that.

Klyn1983 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_dress-shopping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:a21ad084-08be-41c8-bb44-43fa8b85e591Post:599eca2d-fc73-4b05-86fb-cd9d3cdf3ed4">Re: Dress Shopping</a>:
[QUOTE]Your dad is going to be as involved as he wants to be - also, his idea of involvement might be completely different from yours. I would talk to him and let him know it would mean a lot for him to be there (but <strong>w/o putting him through a guilt trip), if after that he still isn't that interested just leave it be. You may have to reframe your expectations for your dad, and it's ok if he doesn't want to get involved in the way you want.</strong> My mom isn't the most warm/nurturing person, and she had no clue why I would want her with me while looking for the dress. In her mind the dress was an errand to check off, but she came around when I explained that for me it's time spent with her, a memory, bonding moment, etc.<strong> I think if you just tell your dad you want to spend time together (wedding related or not) he'll appreciate that.</strong>
Posted by Jaridds68[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div><div>
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sparkles776 · January 2012

I agree. I would just invite him once you believe you have found the one. I would just tell him how important it is to you.

steph4nu · January 2012

I agree with PP. Maybe your dad thinks that paying for part of the wedding is being involved. My father didn't go dress shopping because it wasn't his thing. I went with my mother. However, my dad did try to be involved by asking to see pictures of the dress when we returned. My father's involvement mainly consists of him asking about our wedding - even though he isn't directly involved with the actual planning of things. If you're bothered that your father doesn't want to go, just have an open conversation about how you'd really like him to be there. However, if he doesn't feel comfortable in doing that, don't make him.

Meghannsix · February 2012

These girls are smart! Maybe it's just not your dad's thing. I remember when I was younger and my parents would take us shopping, my mom and I would go into the shops, and my dad would find a bench in the mall, he would sit with a book until one of us came to get him with the wallet. Talk to him about what it would mean to you to include him, and then bring him in for the narrowing down process. Remember, you may try on several dresses, at many different shops. I think even as a bride that might get boring/frustrating!

KplusA · February 2012

I know how you feel! My dad is being very hands off with the whole wedding planning process. He didn't want to come with me and my fiance when we put down our deposit on our ceremony/reception venue. I had to really sit him down and talk to him about how much it meant to me for him to see the venue before we officially chose it. He told me that he thinks guys shouldn't be involved in planning a wedding, but he also understood how important it was for me to have him there for that big step. It was funny because he was so against coming, but once he was there he was like "we should put the dance floor over here!" and basically getting super involved in planning! I guess dads just aren't into "wedding planning", but if you really explain how much it means to you he might agree to come see the dress once you find it and are ready to buy it. Have fun dress shopping!

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