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Bridesmaid drop out?

FutureMrsWeber2012FutureMrsWeber2012 member
First Comment
in Attire & Accessories Forum
The bridesmaids needed to have their dresses ordered by the end of the month. I didnt realize we had a special order only color for their dresses. They knew from the beginning how much everything would be. When we knew it would take three months to get the dresses in I let all the girls know right away. They had a month to order it. Then since it was so short notice we offered to lend them money for half the dress cost. One of my bridesmaids decided last minute she couldnt afford the dress and wouldnt let us help her pay for it. Since she is a bit older than most of my bridesmaids I thought she could wear a different color dress like black that we could find at a department store. Ive tried to contact her multiple times and there has been no response. At this point I dont know if we should wait it out and see if she comes around or if we just have to go on like she isnt going to be in the wedding. And in that case we would have to tell one of the groomsmen we no longer have room for him to be a groomsmen. I really have no idea what to do. 
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Re: Bridesmaid drop out?

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    Grits8812Grits8812 member
    First Comment
    Give her a deadline to get the dress, and if she gets it great, but if she doesn't then she is taking herself out of the wedding. 
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    mrshall1027mrshall1027
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Don't kick a groomsmen out of the wedding just for the sake of having even sides.  Think of how that will make them feel, regardless of the reason you give him.

    Good luck with your bridesmaid.  Like PP suggested, give her a deadline and see what she decides to do.
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    Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited June 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-drop-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:f3ae110d-d013-4afa-a9e0-c969b1d70ddcPost:d4eef86a-c9e8-49c9-9a1a-8d33a5bda6aa">Bridesmaid drop out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]The bridesmaids needed to have their dresses ordered by the end of the month. I didnt realize we had a special order only color for their dresses. They knew from the beginning how much everything would be. When we knew it would take three months to get the dresses in I let all the girls know right away. They had a month to order it. Then since it was so short notice we offered to lend them money for half the dress cost. One of my bridesmaids decided last minute she couldnt afford the dress and wouldnt let us help her pay for it. Since she is a bit older than most of my bridesmaids I thought she could wear a different color dress like black that we could find at a department store. Ive tried to contact her multiple times and there has been no response. At this point I dont know if we should wait it out and see if she comes around or if we just have to go on like she isnt going to be in the wedding.<strong> And in that case we would have to tell one of the groomsmen we no longer have room for him to be a groomsmen. I really have no idea what to do. </strong>
    Posted by FutureMrsWeber2012[/QUOTE]

    For the BM: tell her she has until a certain date to get the dress if she will not let you pay for it. If she doesn't get it by that date, she's taken herself out of the wedding.

    However absolutely do not do the bolded. You do not need even numbers. Just because a BM could no longer be in the wedding you're going to kick out a GM, who is probably a good friend of bothof  yours? How is that fair or right? If you did that to me, I would probably never speak to you again. Don't punish or kick anybody else out because of one BM and realize that uneven sides are fine.


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    Ash61612Ash61612 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-drop-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:f3ae110d-d013-4afa-a9e0-c969b1d70ddcPost:6c1c4fd2-338e-4fb7-a317-2cd58eedc1de">Re: Bridesmaid drop out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Bridesmaid drop out? : F<strong>or the BM: tell her she has until a certain date to get the dress if she will not let you pay for it. If she doesn't get it by that date, she's taken herself out of the wedding. However absolutely do not do the bolded. You do not need even numbers. Just because a BM could no longer be in the wedding you're going to kick out a GM, who is probably a good friend of bothof  yours? How is that fair or right? If you did that to me, I would probably never speak to you again. Don't punish or kick anybody else out because of one BM and realize that uneven sides are fine.</strong>
    Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]
    agree with everything that has been said. <div>
    </div><div>She is an adult, she doesn't need you  to hold her hand through the ordering process. Give her a date and if she doesn't order it, then she is taking herself out the wedding.</div><div>
    </div><div>The sides do not need to be even. Do not kick the GM's out so the sides can be even. That seems very very shallow.</div>
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    First of all, no matter what the outcome i wth the bridesmaid's attire, you should not kick a groomsman out of the wedding party.  Sides do not need to be even -- as many have stated.  Honestly, repeat after me: "Sides do not need to be even."

    Second, give the bridesmaid one last call and leave a voice mail.  At the close of the voice mail, in the nicest way possible, let her know you're concerned but need to move forward with planning.  End by letting her know that, if you do not hear from her within a week, you will assume she no longer want to participate.  Leave it in her court.
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    FutureMrsWeber2012FutureMrsWeber2012 member
    First Comment
    Thanks so much! We actually had a groomsmen drop out a day ago due to college labs. So if my bridesmaid wants out it would still be even. I suggested uneven sides but multiple people told me not to do that and that it would look tacky. I did try to contact her one last time. My groom is not a very social person so it wasn't a big deal if we had to take out a groomsman. And the one we were considering was the one who dropped out. Just sucks to have drama around a very important day
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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-drop-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:f3ae110d-d013-4afa-a9e0-c969b1d70ddcPost:bfc8c67d-ab25-4cde-881c-04f41747f7c5">Re: Bridesmaid drop out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks so much! We actually had a groomsmen drop out a day ago due to college labs. So if my bridesmaid wants out it would still be even.<strong> I suggested uneven sides but multiple people told me not to do that and that it would look tacky.</strong> I did try to contact her one last time. <strong>My groom is not a very social person so it wasn't a big deal if we had to take out a groomsman</strong>. And the one we were considering was the one who dropped out. Just sucks to have drama around a very important day
    Posted by FutureMrsWeber2012[/QUOTE]

    Neither of these things make sense to me, but I'm glad it's working out for you I guess...
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