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Bridesmaid Ettiquette?? PLEASE HELP!!!

alauraboraalaurabora
in Wedding Party
Thanks to all your wonderful answers!!
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Re: Bridesmaid Ettiquette?? PLEASE HELP!!!

  • KD+BCKD+BC
    First Comment
    If you agree to be in hers I don't think you are obligated to ask her to be in your wedding. If you want her to do a reading or something, great but if you would rather honor someone you are closer to, just invite her to the wedding. It is an honor to be invited. GL
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  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    1) You can thank her for honoring you but graciously say, "I unfortunately need to decline the honor as I'm hit with so many expenses as I plan my own wedding."

    There isn't a rule that says you have to accept.

    So

    2) You don't need to reciprocate either.

    FWIW, I wasn't in one of my BM's weddings but she was a BM in mine and we were fine with that.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    Ditto to what Banana said.  You don't need to ask her to be in your wedding just because she asked you to be in hers.  And if you feel uncomfortable being in hers just step down (but graciously like Banana suggested).
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    Be her BM if you want to be her BM. An invitation is not a subpoena, you're perfectly within your rights to decline her request.

    And WPs are not tit for tat. If you're in her wedding, you most certainly do not need to have her in yours. This girl that I'm friends with (Kind of, not really) had me as a BM for her, and it was pretty obvious she expected me to "return the favor", but I really only wanted family members for BMs (And this girl was such a b!tch through her own planning process that I barely wanted to maintain a friendship with her). And that's what I had. She tried to "guilt" me on the matter, but I stuck to my guns and was much happier for it in the long run.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
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  • sophistrylizsophistryliz
    First Comment
    You're definitely not obligated to ask her to be your wedding.  Don't worry about it.
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  • blackfire5thblackfire5th
    First Comment
    Ditto PP that WP is not tit for tat.  I don't have any expectations to be a bm for any of my bm.
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    Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
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