Gifts for the Momma's and Maids

pic+robo · November 2010

So, I just ordered clutches for my girls as part of their gifts. I plan on packing full of misc. stuff they'll need day of wedding (lip balms, tissues, other random items to be put in on a girl-by-girl basis) but wondered if anyone had any other unique ideas. I don't plan on getting them necklaces beacuse each girl is going to be wearing a different style black dress. So maybe bracelets? Thoughts? Any ideas for the Momma's too?

[Deleted User] · November 2010

Ditto pp. Shop for them like it is their birthday or Christmas. What are their hobbies and interests?

mandolinchick · November 2010

I think it's a cute idea actually. I'm doing embroidered totes for my maid's filled with some adorable aluminum water bottles I got at Michaels, bath soaps & sponges, hand towel, and maybe some other goodies. For my FMIL, I found a really beautiful tea set for one that has a scripture verse about mothers on it that I think she'll really love! (She's from Australia, and is quite a tea drinker). I have no idea what to buy my own mother...I might get her a new dress to wear at the wedding.

AutumnFair · November 2010

Wedding stuff are not gifts.

Think of each girls interest and buy a gift based on that. If one likes a certain sport, then get them something to that effect, if they like music get an iTunes gift card, etc. If you want to do something more personal make a scrapbook with pictures of you and each friend.

As for your mom, a popular item is a digital photo frame and scan pictures of you growing up.

graysquirrel · November 2010

I don't think that there is anything wrong with getting them similar or matching gifts as long as they're things they'd use or like. If they're all really into makeup, it might be a good plan. However, I agree with pps that wedding-related items aren't gifts. If you want to give them jewelry to wear during the wedding, that is awesome, but doing so isn't considered a BM "gift". It is more like a present you give yourself by making them look a certain way in pics.

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

If it's a gift that you'd be pleased to give them any other time of the year, it's a good gift for your wedding. So if you'd be terribly pleased to give them a bag filled with random dollar store toiletries for Christmas and expect them to be genuinely excited... Well, I suppose I could give the producers of Hoarders a call for you.

Manwaithiel · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_gifts-mommas-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:95d4b499-8db9-47d2-85a1-d447ae47ce07Post:5573d479-9592-4a87-af15-b413512d82c9">Re: Gifts for the Momma's and Maids</a>:
[QUOTE]If it's a gift that you'd be pleased to give them any other time of the year, it's a good gift for your wedding. So if you'd be terribly pleased to give them a bag filled with random dollar store toiletries for Christmas and expect them to be genuinely excited... Well, I suppose I could give the producers of Hoarders a call for you.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

FTW!

lalap69 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_gifts-mommas-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:95d4b499-8db9-47d2-85a1-d447ae47ce07Post:5573d479-9592-4a87-af15-b413512d82c9">Re: Gifts for the Momma's and Maids</a>:
[QUOTE]If it's a gift that you'd be pleased to give them any other time of the year, it's a good gift for your wedding. So if you'd be terribly pleased to give them a bag filled with random dollar store toiletries for Christmas and expect them to be genuinely excited... Well, I suppose I could give the producers of Hoarders a call for you.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]
Like.

Seriously, they probably own tissues and lip balm already. They don't need you to prepare them wedding day kits and those certainly aren't gifts for them. Shop for them as FRIENDS, not brideslaves.

kellya01 · November 2010

When I was a BM in my SIL's wedding, we got a gift bag that included (if I can remember it all):

a small jewelry box with our names engraved on the top

pair of earrings for each BM

travel pack of kleenex

embroidered lace hanky

and one or two other items.

The earrings, I STILL wear to this day. The little jewelry box I still use but not as much as I used to. The kleenex and the lace hanky came in handy and I still have the lace hanky as a keepsake memory. The other items included a hair styling appointment which we all did together, and a manicure party, which we all did together. I consider her gift a very special gift ... even if it was ALL wedding related "stuff."

For my own upcoming wedding, I just finished getting my BM's gift bags together (I'm DIY on a lot so I have to get started early)... I got them Mary Kay travel cosmetic bags, a bottle of MK eye make up remover, cotton facial pads, new aquafina chapstick because my BM's all LIVE for chapstick, eye shadow in coordinating colors for the wedding, pack of kleenex, and matching MK lipstick (in "raisinberry").

When the time gets closer to the wedding, I will be purchasing a package of Lindor Truffles and each of them will get some truffles to help them get through the day... they know about my obsession with chocolate so it's good. I'm also giving them a hair styling appointment and we're all going to have matching nails (I also got them a vanity pack of fingernail clippers and nail file). Yeah, it might be good for the pictures, but my family is used to coordinating stuff like that ... and my MOH loves her gift (She peeked, whoops!). I also am putting hand-written thank you notes in their bags among one or two other things.

If your family is anything like mine, they will consider it a gift. My BM's love Mary Kay cosmetics, and they would definitely consider it a gift. I also got them an eye refreshing mask from MK that they can use long after the wedding. High quality cosmetics is a lot better than "dollar store crap" that others have mentioned.

For the same token... I would get this type of gift for them for Christmas or Birthday, and that's just the kind of gift we give in our family... ultimately useful but nicer than a person would typically buy for themselves.

Sorry, I rambled. Hope you can make sense out of this!

MobKaz · December 2010

Pic, Mandolin, and Kellya.....

You know your BM's best and it sounds as if they are girls that appreciate your thoughtfulness.

My daughter has also purchased clutches for her BM's....and although they are wedding related, they are by no means wedding exclusive. I know the girls will enjoy using them for many years, as the style is classic and timeless.

She is still debating what to include....she is toying with gift cards to each girls preference......Starbucks for one friend, Barnes and Noble for another......and is also considering jewelry as well. Because the girls are selecting their own little black dress, the jewelry may differ as well....bracelet for one, perhaps a necklace for another. They will not be obliged to wear it the day of the wedding. However, most people I know, to show their appreciation, often will make a point of wearing and/or using a gift in the presence of the gift giver.

Because these girls are all dear friends, and in many cases, friends for 8 years or more, I am treating them all to mani-pedi's the day before the wedding so they can gather in a relaxed atmosphere and just have some down time. These girls have been important to my daughter, and I have watched many of them "grow up". I also wanted to show my appreciation for their friendship. Is this "wedding related"? Absolutely! Will they enjoy it less or turn it down because it is wedding related? Absolutely not! The wedding is simply a convenient excuse for me to treat some very important and special people to a well deserved pampering.

kellya01 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_gifts-mommas-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:95d4b499-8db9-47d2-85a1-d447ae47ce07Post:b618253b-643a-4293-b1d0-e197ed031f16">Re: Gifts for the Momma's and Maids</a>:
[QUOTE]Call me rude. If someone gave me kleenex and chapstick for a gift, I'd think they were really cheap. Would I say so out loud? No, of course not....but I'd definitely think it. Those things are not a treat.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>For my BM's gifts, the bulk of the gift is really the Mary Kay (NICE ) makeup / cosmetic items, hair appointments for all of them, and the chocolate (probably Lindor Truffles, or Godiva Chocolatier boxes). We didn't have a big budget for gifts, and the kleenex and chapstick were thrown in as a last minute "day of" goodie bag. All of my girls say "oh my gosh I can't find my chapstick" so it's kind of a fun thing for us. To each their own... I have other friends (not my BM's) who would feel as you do, Retread - they would be like "what kind of gift is THIS?" and of course I would feel bad (and won't get that for them in the first place). </div><div>
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dchristman · December 2010

I see nothing wrong with giving the girls something to wear on your wedding day. If anything that saves them from having to spend more money and the hassle of finding something. In 2 of the 4 weddings I've been in, they gave us some type of jewelry to wear on the wedding day. I have bought earrings for all of my girls to wear and I'm giving them a beach bag with their name on it, a nice beach towel and aluminum water bottles. That way they have something for the day of the wedding and other items to use for as long as they wish.

aerinpegadrak · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_gifts-mommas-maids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:95d4b499-8db9-47d2-85a1-d447ae47ce07Post:b7460cb9-362c-4f6d-98ca-03cf57c5ff88">Re: Gifts for the Momma's and Maids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gifts for the Momma's and Maids : For my BM's gifts, the bulk of the gift is really the Mary Kay (NICE ) makeup / cosmetic items, hair appointments for all of them, and the chocolate (probably Lindor Truffles, or Godiva Chocolatier boxes). We didn't have a big budget for gifts, and the kleenex and chapstick were thrown in as a last minute "day of" goodie bag. All of my girls say "oh my gosh I can't find my chapstick" so it's kind of a fun thing for us. To each their own... I have other friends (not my BM's) who would feel as you do, Retread - they would be like "what kind of gift is THIS?" and of course I would feel bad (and won't get that for them in the first place).
Posted by kellya01[/QUOTE]
If it's an inside joke, that's a totally different kettle of fish. I could have given my MOH a little red rubber bouncy ball and she would have thought it was the best gift ever. But I'm not going to recommend that as a general gift just because my MOH would find it hilarious.

Cristine2011 · December 2010

My sister got all of us clutches (same style, different colours), body lotion, hand made earrings, and chapstick. I was happy about it because:
1. Although I didn't use the clutch in the wedding, I used it for other formal occasions
2. The earrings were much prettier than the ones I had picked out to wear, and I will wear them again
3. I was not in it for the gifts. I was very happy to be a part of her wedding day, and appreciated that she took the time to put something together for me even if it matched what the other girls got.

Although I realize it's important to show your bridesmaids that you appreciate everything they're doing for you, if they get hung up on the gifts or think you're "cheap", then they have a major attitude problem.

I like the idea of putting different gift cards according to what they like

Cristine2011 · December 2010

StageManager14 - I was writing that in response to what RetreadBride said about thinking that chapstick and kleenex would be cheap.

To me, it looks like there is a bit of hassling to OP because of the way she's giving gifts (as opposed to treating it like Christmas) when she's obviously putting forth some thought into the gifts, otherwise she wouldn't have asked for suggestions.

In no way diid I intend to suggest that it was OK to be lazy with this portion of the wedding. I meant that you would have a very poor attitude if you were offended by a gift that the bride put some honest thought in to, as OP is doing.

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