Postponed Honeymoon or Buy a House?

Darbie914 · December 2012

Hi all! I know you ladies always give honest advice and I am in need of some. DH and I were married in August and we also have a 15 month old daughter. Our original plan was to postpone a honeymoon until the summer of 2013 to give us time to save and so our daughter would be older. Financially, this past year has been the worst we have ever had so that was another reason for us to postpone.

However, now we are both in great jobs and we are getting back on our feet faster than I thought. The prospects of owning a home in the next few years are suddenly possible and it has got me thinking: should we put a honeymoon on the back burner and work our butts off and save for a home for our family? We are also planning to have baby #2 ( and our last baby) sometime in the next year and I know I would love a home for them to grow up in.

DH agrees for the most part but his argument is this: with 2 children, it will be quite some time until we are actually able to go on a kid-free vacation. He is thinking that we might regret not indulging in some couple time in order to go for the home. I can absolutely see his point and would love to sip drinks on the beach with him and have an uninterrupted conversation over dinner lol.

Any suggestions? TIA!

CA.Giraffe · December 2012

Since you say the house would still be a few years away, I would elect some type of honeymoon now. I wouldn't go for anything extravagant, but a little getaway to relax and celebrate your married life. That being said, FI and I have three kids, and being able to take some time for FI and me as a couple is really a simple matter of prioritizing and scheduling. FI is just as deserving of my undivided attention as any of the kids are, so we make time to be a couple. It keeps us happy, which makes us better partners AND parents.

OliveOilsMom · December 2012

Is it possible for you to do both, just have a more modified vision for your honeymoon. There are many great deals on livingsocial or groupon for trips. Some even include airfare.

Instead of going to say Hawaii, could you go to the Florida Keys? You could drive to them. Or if you are nature lovers, you could rent a cabin for a week. There are many great places to choose from, plus a variety of price points, at vrbo.com, you will rent the cabin from the properties' owner. They usually provide almost all of the linens and kitchen stuff needed, just read the listing. This could allow you to cook meals yourselves often, to save money.

If it's out of the question to do both, then I would totally go for the house.

Darbie914 · December 2012

His idea of a honeymoon is that if we're going to do it, we should go all out. Although I could def. get on board with something on a smaller scale. Guess we have some compromising to do! Thank you!

QueerFemme · December 2012

It really depends on what your version of "going all out" is. We are doing our 9 day honeymoon to Puerto Rico for less than $3k, and that includes flights from California, the rental car, and hotels. Flights from NY to Puerto Rico are a lot cheaper. We are staying at adorable cottage style inns, because we wanted to support locally owned hotels, instead of big corporate spots (like Hyatt or Marriott).

Of course, we will need money for spending, food, etc., but you could easily do a really amazing honeymoon for less than $5K. Or, you could do a really amazing budget honeymoon for probably less than $2K if you want to stay a little more local.

ETA: PS - our rooms are all oceanfront, so we didn't go crazy cheap. There were a lot cheaper options, and we were still able to make it affordable and get beautiful rooms/views.

lls31 · December 2012

We decided that buying our first home was more important than a fancy HM. I would've LOVED to go to Bora Bora or somewhere exotic, but we looked at the bigger picture and we chose the house. We booked an inexpensive HM (a cruise that was less than $1,400). We still had a wonderful time on our HM and we got to come home to a nice, new house. It was a win-win for us.

Darbie914 · December 2012

Sorry that I didn't clarify! Ever since we saw the movie Couples Retreat, he has been hooked on going to a place like that (I believe it was filmed in Bora Bora?) I thought we could do something cheaper like Mexico or someplace that had an all inclusive package so we could save money. We toyed with Hawaii but they don't offer all inclusives and he's not a fan of cruises.

Did you book your HMs yourselves or through a travel agent? We've never tried an agency but I'm thinking they would have all the scoop on cheaper trips. I've even suggested doing a trip to all of the US national parks because he has wanted to do that for some time. He really wants to go to an island, though.

His mom lives in PR and even though we've been there countless times, perhaps we could stay on a different part of the island so it would seem like a different place

QueerFemme · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_postponed-honeymoon-or-buy-a-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:614e5143-f537-4f92-b32d-c2c9dc3bd87cPost:ca848d77-8e4a-4558-b959-e0bf7ac4724f">Re: Postponed Honeymoon or Buy a House?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry that I didn't clarify! Ever since we saw the movie Couples Retreat, he has been hooked on going to a place like that (I believe it was filmed in Bora Bora?) I thought we could do something cheaper like Mexico or someplace that had an all inclusive package so we could save money. We toyed with Hawaii but they don't offer all inclusives and he's not a fan of cruises. Did you book your HMs yourselves or through a travel agent? We've never tried an agency but I'm thinking they would have all the scoop on cheaper trips. I've even suggested doing a trip to all of the US national parks because he has wanted to do that for some time. He really wants to go to an island, though. His mom lives in PR and even though we've been there countless times, perhaps we could stay on a different part of the island so it would seem like a different place :)
Posted by Darbie914[/QUOTE]

You could try an all inclusive resort in Jamaica or the US Virgin Islands, etc. I wouldn't recommend PR, since it's a family destination for you in the past, and you might feel obligated to go spend time with his mom.

I booked my HM myself. I did a ton of internet research, read reviews. Kept an eye on flights, etc. and got great deals. We were planning on going to PR over xmas, but after some research, cut our flight prices in half by going over New years instead. There are ways to make things happen on a budget, you just have to be willing to compromise and do the leg work.

It's really up to you. If you have your heart set on an extravagant "couples retreat" style honeymoon, and nothing else will be good enough, don't waste your money on a HM that you won't enjoy because you'll be pissy that you didn't get the "couples retreat" service. But, if you are both willing to have an open mind, there really are ways to have an amazing honeymoon and buy your house.

OliveOilsMom · December 2012

If he is looking for an all inclusive type place, I would recommend looking here, clicky. They have different deals all the time for a variety of place, including all inclusives and most include airfare.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_postponed-honeymoon-or-buy-a-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:614e5143-f537-4f92-b32d-c2c9dc3bd87cPost:ca848d77-8e4a-4558-b959-e0bf7ac4724f">Re: Postponed Honeymoon or Buy a House?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry that I didn't clarify! Ever since we saw the movie Couples Retreat, he has been hooked on going to a place like that (I believe it was filmed in Bora Bora?) I thought we could do something cheaper like Mexico or someplace that had an all inclusive package so we could save money. We toyed with Hawaii but they don't offer all inclusives and he's not a fan of cruises. Did you book your HMs yourselves or through a travel agent? We've never tried an agency but I'm thinking they would have all the scoop on cheaper trips. I've even suggested doing a trip to all of the US national parks because he has wanted to do that for some time. He really wants to go to an island, though. His mom lives in PR and even though we've been there countless times, perhaps we could stay on a different part of the island so it would seem like a different place :)
Posted by Darbie914[/QUOTE]

hahaha "Couples Retreat" was actually on last night. Trudy: 'I don't eat fish" lol, my fave part! :)

That said, what kind of home do you want? Are you willing to compromise on the home to have the honeymoon of your dreams OR would you prefer to compromise on your honeymoon so you can have the home of your dreams? It's really about what's more important to you. For me personally, I think if I felt this was the only time I could truly have the vacation I want, I'd go for the honeymoon and maybe postpone the homebuying or buy a smaller home than I wanted or a townhouse/condo instead of a house. I kind of feel like a honeymoon is a one time deal, so do it exactly how you want. There will always be a home to buy and postponing that will give you more time to save and really get the most out of your purchase.

Good luck to you.

entropicbeauty · December 2012

My husband and I have forgone a honeymoon for the prospect of being homeowners much quicker. The market is so low right now, we doubt we'll be able to get these great house prices another 2-3 years down the road.

But I'm in Michigan...I can get a pretty dang nice house for $35k-$65k...so the cost of a vacation is pretty much the cost of a down payment for a house. It seemed like a pretty easy decision to make. If we had kids I would be itching to be in a house even sooner.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_postponed-honeymoon-or-buy-a-house?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:614e5143-f537-4f92-b32d-c2c9dc3bd87cPost:9203e866-a786-429f-bf66-c313aee58a4e">Re: Postponed Honeymoon or Buy a House?</a>:
[QUOTE]My husband and I have forgone a honeymoon for the prospect of being homeowners much quicker. The market is so low right now, we doubt we'll be able to get these great house prices another 2-3 years down the road. But I'm in Michigan...I can get a pretty dang nice house for <strong>$35k-$65k</strong>...so the cost of a vacation is pretty much the cost of a down payment for a house. It seemed like a pretty easy decision to make. If we had kids I would be itching to be in a house even sooner.
Posted by entropicbeauty[/QUOTE]

wow that's crazy cheap. Average houses here cost $300k. That's why I am saying go for the honeymoon lol

StephBeanWed61502 · December 2012

We went for the honeymoon instead of immediate home ownership, and could not be happier with our decision. Our honeymoon was an amazing experience that I wouldn't trade for anything. (It also cost way less than I expected - we did 8 nights in Hawaii at a 4 star resort for under $5K through Costco travel. The package was not exactly all-inclusive, but did include airfare, a rental car, daily breakfast, and a day tour of the island.)

allychase · December 2012

If you're looking for a Bora bora type place for cheaper, check out Antigua, Aruba or Turks and Caicos. Antigua looks BEAUTIFUL and I would've booked our HM there if I had known about it, but I'm still excited about St Lucia. I use orbitz for all our trips. Last year we went to Aruba for 10 days and including food, souvenirs, hotel and airfare we paid 3500. And arubas water is INCREDIBLE

Darbie914 · December 2012

Wow, you have all given such great advice! I'm thinking we should meet somewhere in the middle. Go for a less elaborate HM and save for a house. I live in NJ so the average home is around $300k and up if you want a good neighborhood with good schools. I am thinking that with another child, the chances of us going on a trip in the near future are slim to none. Plus with the added expense of a house, it might make it more difficult. Thank you all so much for your suggestions!

Owning, we were watching it last night, too! Which sparked the home vs HM conversation.

allychase · December 2012

In Response to Re:Postponed Honeymoon or Buy a House?:[QUOTE]Wow, you have all given such great advice! nbsp;I'm thinking we should meet somewhere in the middle. nbsp;Go for a less elaborate HM and save for a house. nbsp;I live in NJ so the average home is around 300k and up if you want a good neighborhood with good schools. nbsp;I am thinking that with another child, the chances of us going on a trip in the near future are slim to none. nbsp;Plus with the added expense of a house, it might make it more difficult. nbsp;Thank you all so much for your suggestions!Owning, we were watching it last night, too! nbsp;Which sparked the home vs HM conversation. nbsp; Posted by Darbie914[/QUOTE]

I'm also in NJ! We just bought a home in January for 200k and its a 3 bed 2.5 bath, fully remodeled. South jersey tends to be cheaper though

Summer2011Bride · December 2012

It's a personal decision, but if it was me and I had to do one or the other, I'd probably pick the house. This is coming from a HUGE travel junkie, but we just moved into our first house and there is nothing like it.

However, I think your best bet is to take the PP's advice and try to do both. Take a modified HM and still save up for a house. Like others have said, mexico can be very affordable, as are many AIs in the caribbean. We did Hawaii and did book with a travel agent. We could have done it chaper than we did-I think flights to and from Chicago plus an oceanfront room for 9 nights was $6500. One thing to consider if you really wanted Hawaii was that you could check vrbo.com for rental houses or condos. We checked into one for Maui and it was 900 for the entire week.

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